Cooking Spray, Soap, and a Telephone

Cooking spray, soap and a telephone.
Cooking spray, soap and a telephone.
Cooking spray, soap and a telephone.

When I go shopping, I am really bad at remembering what exactly I was shopping for.
So instead of wasting paper with a small list, I repeat the items that I would like to get over and over in my head until I won’t forget. Thus was the case with today.

Cooking spray, soap and a telephone.
Cooking spray, soap and a telephone.
Cooking spray, soap and a telephone.

I walked into Meijer, hoping that this time I wouldn’t get distracted and forget something.
Figuring that I would forget the end of the telephone first because it wasn’t in the grocery section, I headed straight to electronics.

Cooking spray, soap and a telephone.
Cooking spray, soap and a telephone.
Cooking spray, soap and a telephone.

Now, I hadn’t planned on purchasing a telephone this year, but since my telephone appears to have raptured over the summer (and I’ve looked EVERYWHERE for this thing), I found myself desiring a contact to the outside world during cellular peak hours. I happily discovered a cordless phone for only $12. What a thrill since I was viewing the prices of the supper-hyped-up robots that they have out now in replace of phones. Who in their right mind would pay nearly $200 for a cordless phone? I made myself a deal, if a cordless wasn’t under $15, then I would have to ditch the convenience and attach myself back onto a corded horror. (Can you tell that I’m not too big of a fan of a corded phone?) See, corded phones are really annoying for those who find the need to pace while communicating via a telephone. I really don’t know what it is, but as soon as that phone goes to my ear, my feet start moving. It’s like a little kid after a banana split, I just can’t sit still.

Cooking spray, soap and a telephone.
Cooking spray, soap and a telephone.
Cooking spray, soap and a telephone.

So, after rejoicing in my telephone success, I headed for the grocery side of Meijer. And that’s when it happened. Bam! I was broadsided with reality. This evening at our Crosswalk prayer meeting, I was one of the two out of seven girls who would be considered “a leader”. Now don’t get me wrong, in know way am I claiming that any of the ladies there this evening are not growing and maturing in their faith. But it became strangely evident to me that just as I followed the lead of the “older and wiser” women in Crosswalk, I am now going to be looked to in such a way. I am not trying to put myself upon a pedestal and acclaim to have a model lifestyle or faith. Absolutely not. Christ is the only thing to boast of and the only Perfection to strive to copy. But just as a small child follows an older siblings lead, I feel my role of “small child” has changed. But the revelation did not conclude there. Suddenly I realized that I am now in line for an “older” position and yet there is one thing missing; my own “older and wiser” women. I mean, this past summer I came to the realization that I would now be expected to advance into this category and I came to peace with this, but I didn’t realize that I would be one of the few who are left to uphold this category. Like, where’s my Andi Hill and my Miranda Snider? Where’s my Tamara Steck and my other sisters who are rock solid in their faith? I have Kelly. She is rock solid in her faith, but like tonight, she can’t always be there. See, even when someone couldn’t make it in the past to a meeting or an event, there was bound to be at least a few rock solid ladies there. There was bound to be at least two faithful servers, encouragers of depth, growth, and vulnerability in Christ. Tonight? There was one. And I didn’t even get to talk to her. In fact, I wonder if she often feels similarly when she reflects on her experiences in Crosswalk?

As odd as it was to think about the empty encouragement that the year could very well provide. Even though I wondered what it’s going to be like to try to adjust to this new position, there was this strange peace inside. Yes, this year is going to be rough at times, I don’t doubt. There will most definitely be trials and times when I just want to go back to being a crazy kid who speaks freely, but irresponsibly, and lives in the today and “right now” of life assuming that discipline and experience is code word for “dead”. But there will also be times, and there already has been, in which the routine and the discipline of serving responsibly in word, thought, and action is rewarded by the Lord and the Lord alone. There will be times when I will find complete and utter joy in discipline when no one is watching.

A smile came to my face.

Cooking spray, soap and a telephone.
Cooking spray, soap and a telephone.
Cooking spray, soap and a telephone.

And then I ran into Amanda Skarzynsky. Despite how hard it is to say her last name, she is quite a sweet, easy going spirit in the Lord. And even though she is a baby in Christ (meaning, inevitably, that I may be considered as “older” in her eyes), the familiarity of her face and her smile brought a joyful warmth to my heart. We had a conversation about our summers and the years hoped plans, but the entire time the Lord kept repeating in my head, “it’s going to be okay, it’s going to be okay.” I couldn’t help but smile. See, I have always known in my head that the Lord will never put me into a situation that I cannot handle, but it wasn’t until that moment that I really felt confidence in this year’s upcoming journey.

Needless to say, I remembered everything that I went to Meijer for and managed to leave the store with only the items that were on my list (which is a first). And as I drove the short trip home I thought, “I am never going to be prepared for this, but I’m just going to leap and I know my Lord will carry me.”

– thank You Lord. To You be the glory.