You May Live in Rural Africa if…

– first name options include objects, Holidays, and days of the week.

– you have to look up a picture of a squirrel on the internet to explain the American school worksheet to your Kindergartener.

– you no longer barter for your daily produce because they know you’re not a tourist.

– buying said produce involves a semi-formal conversation regarding the vendor’s welfare.

– your name is your job title and your child is respectfully referred to as “girl”.

You may live in rural Africa if…

– you can’t remember what version of British, Kenyan, South African, or American English vocabulary needs to be used in the big city.

– you wake up confused because the rooster did NOT crow at 4a.

– you begin talking to your English-speaking friend in the wrong language without realizing it when trying to figure out directions.

– said directions involving no paved roads and a downed tree as a landmark doesn’t make you flinch.

– you’ve been asked to name a stranger’s newborn baby you just met.

You may live in rural Africa if…

– at least one child has arrived at a destination without shoes, you’re not Afrikaans, and you only notice because the sand is hot.

– all-day shopping only involves a store or two that takes three hours round trip to visit and has 3-4 total aisles.

– your kids giggle while eating broccoli because it’s a rare find of a treat during tourist season.

– a tropical Christmas season is only announced by the Chinese store music and has no curb appeal to the nationals.

– you are asked to carry a 50lb bag of rice, a large grocery sack of raw peanuts, and a sheet-wrapped bundle of ? to someone’s cousin because you mention driving through that city in a few hours.

You may live in rural Africa if…

– the next public toilet is three hours away so you warn the kids to “go now or forever hold your…”-well, you get the idea.

– the stars are brilliant street lights when the sun goes down at 5p.

– you sweep your Sunday school space with a tree branch, kick out rotting fruit, and chase away chickens before laying down a tarp floor for your class.

– finding strawberries or blueberries once a year needs a national holiday marker on the calendar.

– you go to bed a half hour after your kids because, let’s face it, there’s nothing to do.

You may live in rural Africa if…

– you have witnessed unexplainable joy amongst what could be cast off as desperate ruin, but is actually greater depth of perspective than material satisfaction could ever know.

Oh, rural Africa, how we love you despite all your quirks. Thanks for putting up with all of ours as we continue to learn how to live as acceptable foreigners

out here in beautiful, rural Africa.