To the Table of Moms sitting beside ours at the children’s museum,
First of all, congratulations on expecting your second children in the household. The thrill of a miracle growing inside of you is indescribable, even in those last few months of “bumping into everything”. And your toddlers may not have any idea what’s coming, but they’ll learn to enjoy the company of another little smiler.
But even in your excitement my heart breaks for you both. I saw your glances and while it would be easy to brush you off as judgemental, my heart is really saddened.
Yes, Big Guy spilled his cup of juice because he wasn’t paying attention. He’s only been to a children’s museum twice that I know of and it’s a lot to take in, even when wolfing down lunch in anticipation of playing with legos. Yes, Little Man was fussing. What you didn’t know is that he had already been fed and freshly diapered, he was just having an impatient moment while I was nursing Hannah. And yes, the boys do not look like me… or my girls. In fact, to a deeply judging eye they could mark me to look like an unfaithful woman… or a woman in a really biologically confusing mess.
But my heart breaks that you didn’t really see my kids. You didn’t see Abi’s utter bliss at the chocolate covered pretzels we got as a special treat from the shop downstairs. And you didn’t see the twinkle in Big Guy’s eyes that even though he forgot his money that he brought to buy a special snack, he got to share a bag of Buggles with all of us after eating his cheese and crackers (the unsoggy ones). And you didn’t see the progress that Little Man has made in only fussing a bit and being responsive to my touch and my words to calm himself down.
You didn’t see where my boys were two months ago and how much they have moved from being constantly attention-seeking and fearful to secure and excited.
Yes, we are a noisy bunch sometimes… many times around eating time. And there are still needs to remind Big Guy to sit still and that just because he’s not touching it right now doesn’t mean he’ll never get to. And there are still needs to balance nursing my Hannah with rocking Little Man into comfort.
But my heart breaks for you, Moms, that while you may be there in your hearts some day to take in a child that needs someone while their world gets a little more under control… you’re not there right now. But right now there are Big Guys and Little Mans out there… waiting for Children’s Services to intervene and remove them from their crumbling worlds.
Tomorrow we’ll probably still be noisy, and a little bossy sometimes, and a little over-the-top excited and needy, but I am so thankful to God that tomorrow these precious boys know that they’ll still be safe. And loved. And snuggled. And told that “we’re praying for your Mom and your Dad” while they wait to see who will rescue them and who will fade away into a memory.
Sweet pregnant moms, my heart breaks for you.
Please take another glance.
Please.
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