Domestic Tremblings

We got a new vacuum yesterday evening. Our old one died. Yes, the one with the retractable cord. Hold on, let me go get a tissue.

It’s so hard to let go.

So my wonderful husband did some research. Don’t know why he’d think me busy at home. And came upon a great find – of course it came with a coupon and rave reviews. After a second search he found the store with the lowest price and thus sealed our evening plans.

We loaded the masses for the high-profile outing. Yes, it was the first place I had gone all day. Yes, I had to change out of pajamas and shower for the day. Don’t judge me. It was a cleaning day. I promise.

Fine, so it became a cleaning day.

Once I decided I didn’t want to change out of pajamas and my showering window would have to reopen at nap time.

Anyway, so we stepped into the store, corralling the masses. “Don’t touch anything” came out of my mouth a bit quickly before the older three’s impulses even turned heads. “Put that back” was said a few times. I confess! My children are sinners. And Bed Bath and Beyond has WAY too many brightly colored things in kid reach. It’s a crime really. They’re just inviting reshelving needs.

With a few “mom tones” my crew returned to the double stroller like a boomerang – one of those good ones that actually responds to the circular return pattern. So much to see. Impulses firing. Salivation.

“There ya go, honey,” Matt grinned as he handed the plastic to the cashier.

“Yeah, just what you wanted!” Came the cashier’s sarcasm.

She must not have know how much mess those innocent looking smiles before her can make. She must not have seen the absent toddler climbing between the patio furniture.

I promise we don’t always act like this. … most of the time.

She should have guessed as they practiced their frozen dance moves on our way out of the store.

Things get knocked over. Things spill. Things get crushed into the carpet. And I find little “contributions” and science experiments….

Little did she know when she made her comment. Oh, little did she know…

Shhhhh! Quiet everyone. (Bends down) Look at my new baby:

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…She’s beautiful…

Crushed cereal and dust bunny communities are shivering.

FEEL THE POWER!!!!

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