So I’ve come to the realization that I completely clash with the college lifestyle. Other than the obvious non-drinking, non-smoking, virgin testimony that distinguishes my character, very basic elements of my life clash with the stereotypical college student.

1. I’m a morning person. And we all know that going to bed at 10:30 and getting up at 6 is highly atypical for the college night-owl who sleeps in til noon.
2. I work. That’s right, I actually have to take responsibility for my own lifestyle and ‘needs’.
3. I actually enjoy edifying fellowship. Our generation encourages destruction of characters, but oddly enough, I delight in encouraging of each other to reach the fullest potential.
4. Oh yes, and then there’s the ever-defining label which encourages much dispute and persecution… I am a Christ-follower! Not only that, but I actually stand behind a lifestyle of purity in all aspects? Not perfect, but trying to live to the standard I am called to. How unheard of!

See, funny thing is I am in constant conflict with the world. In no way should my lifestyle reflect a typical worldly view. So why does it shock you, society? Is it that you have become accustomed to the Christians of today who call on the name of the Lord only in convenience, giving nothing of themselves in devotion, laughing at self-sacrifice? That’s right, I may very well be lumped into the category of Christianity, but I am a Christ-follower. I am actively seeking His glory and His fame, not my own. Don’t place me on a pedestal, don’t worship worship, don’t praise praise… NO! Please, just fall down with me in front of the utter power and glory of our Lord. Admit daily that we are nothing without God. Therefore, we can go nowhere, we can do nothing without our God.

Dying world, please see that!

And Christians?

When the praise music stops, when the ‘church’ walls crumble, when the suffering comes, when the persecution is too much to bear, when the hymnals are lost, when the powerpoint freezes, when the cross necklace breaks, when the material fails… Christ-followers? What then?

“Yet I will rejoice in the LORD!
I will be joyful in God my Savior!

The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
He enables me to go on the heights. ”

[Hab. 3:18-19]

Where is your strength?

~ Soli Deo Gloria.

So today I really wanted to go Home again. I’m struggling to find peace with accepting that God has put me here and chosen to keep me here for good reason. It’s not even a matter of wanting to go to School Rd down in Cincinnati, I want to go HOME! I woke up this morning so Homesick that I just wanted ot shut off from the world. Everywhere I turned there seemed to be reminder after reminder that this world is not my home. After my psych class I finally just broke down and had a good cry. I was walking out through the trees coming to God with one of those prayers where you don’t even have to say anything. You know? It just speaks from your heart and your tears.

Home, I want to go Home.

“Oh that you would rend the Heaven and come down today.” (Isaiah 64:1)
The verse ran through my mind.

After some time passed (I really have no idea how long) I pulled myself together and began walking home. I felt a little better after crying in all honesty. At lease I had accomplished a good emotional release. As I was walking, I hit the play button on my CD player and these lyrics flooded my ears,

“Lead me on, lead me on
to the place where the river runs into your keeping.
Yeah, lead me on, lead me on
The awaited deliverance comforts the seeking.
Lead on!“

I love you, Jesus. All I can say is I love you.

So, I just got off the phone with my sister. You know, no mater how far away we are from each other, she will always be my big sister.

She picked up the phone while she was in the middle fo work. (I still don’t know how she gets away with this one.) It was funny how she answered the phone at her work and yet didn’t give me a stereotypical “I gotta get off the phone” speach that I have received lately from many people’s lifestyles. It was like she couldn’t even imagine a single thing better than talking to me.

In the light of feeling scheduled into fake, plastic people’s lives lately, there stood my sister, breaking that “trend”; all ears and an opened heart.


Thanks, Jes.

I love you.