It was quarter after six and usually I would find myself surrounded by little ones in the nursery, but tonight there were none. I had hung around for a while just to make sure that no one was running late because, afterall, families with small children often find themselves at the mercy of their children’s schedules as oppose to their own. I gathered my things to leave and ventured down the hallway when something made me stop.

I was coming closer and closer to the cafe doors and I heard a familiar voice; “Alright, everyone, let’s get started here. Take your seats.” instantaneously I knew that the High School Youth Group was beginning in the theatre. A wave swept over me and I felt compelled to stop. With backpack on and guitar placed against the hallway wall, I stood in the doorway of the cafe and watched through the theatre windows on the other side of the cafe as rows of youth settled into their seats. Slowly talking died down and Jason’s voice rose above the crowd once more; “So I have some ski trip stories to share with you,” He announced with a voice that proved his years of experience at capturing the attention of wallflowers and social butterflies alike. The story of a devoted youth worker choosing to sit in a van’s trunk so that the van’s passenger seat could be occupied by a youth emerged among other funny stories of daredevil stunts and skiing wipe-outs.

And then out of nowhere a curly, red-head popped into the side door of the church and started down the hallway toward me. “Hey Kelly!” I spoke with surprise to see my best friend at the church this lat.
“Hey! Have you seen Phil Depp?”
“Nope, he’s not here.”
“Oh,” she poked her head into the office and then continued down the hallway toward me. “What are you doing?”
At that second I heard a voice say inside my head, “Can’t you see my heart? I want to be in there. I love being in there. I belong in there.”
“Just watching.” I responded and pondered where that voice had come from.
Kelly looked back toward the office, “Oh.” Silence. “Well I’m going to have to come back tomorrow morning to talk to Phil, then. So, I’m going to take off. See ya.” She paused, inviting a hug.
After Kelly left I watched for a few more minutes and then headed out to my car.


Thing is, I don’t know if I can work with the youth and with Crosswalk (my campus ministry) at the same time. I don’t know if that’s overload or not. But it’s true, my heart longs for youth ministry. I absolutely adore youth, especially that “tricky, high school rebellion” age. They are my favorite. It’s so amazing to watch a wild/rebellious teen give their life to Christ and then become wild and rebellious for the Lord’s glory alone. And teens wear their lives on their sleeves, so it’s so cool to watch their boldness for the Lord. It’s so fun to challenge them as they challenge you to live a life of integrity and passionate obedience to the Lord.

But I know that God has laid Crosswalk on my heart as a place to serve Him. And my passion for youth must wait until the Lord opens that door in my life. I must obey where He wants me to be, especially when it means sacrificing my own desires for His.

But in the back of my mind as I serve Crosswalk with all that the Lord gives me, I will file away my passion to serve youth. Who knows, God may bring out that file through an opportunity sometime soon. I just have to keep my heart open and keep running after my God. He knows what’s best for me. He knows when and where He wants me to serve. It’s my job to listen and obey.



I love you, God. How You bless me!