This morning I woke up and felt this strange normalcy in my morning routine. It was odd because the routine done this morning was atypical and yet something felt complete in it. It was the first time in a while that I have woken up with a clear mind. I felt well-rested. I felt like my mind and body matched up as I walked down the hallway to the tune of a starving meower. It felt completely normal to eat my yogurt at the table, thinking about what shoes I would wear and enjoying the silence. I felt this air of confidence that I could wear these black shoes with these white socks and these brown pants because I thought the shoes and pants were comfortable and white socks were available. No fashion would ever change the amount of love I would give or receive. My morning reminded me of Jr. High school mornings; arising before the sun to a quiet house, waking before my alarm clock and feeling prepared for the alarm. It’s funny to try to describe it to the “never been pregnant world” but when you’re pregnant and have all these extra hormones, you often have this constant state of imbalance. It’s like your mind doesn’t connect to your body. And some times you wonder if your mind fell out and your body’s just operating on previously remembered responses. You just feel off balance and “not all there.” And that’s a strange state to live in and attempt to function within. Therefore, this morning was so foreign… and yet so familiar. It was like this hope that just maybe I won’t be crazy… for the rest of my life. =)

I think it’s funny that we can be so rich and yet feel so poor. I can look at the holes in my shoes, the foam padding falling out and think, “Man, these thrift-store shoes aren’t staying together.” I can look at my car, hood and trunk popped for the umpteenth time in the parking lot and feel ashamed that I have to apply steering leaking fluid to a “new” car in a lot where people stare as they get out of their SUVs and nice sedans. I can look at a job and feel oppressed by endless, tedious and early hours when others are staying at home to raise their families or still sleeping in their beds.

But that’s not the whole picture. The puzzle may have holes, but the edge-pieces are all in place.
When did it become so easy to only look at the lacking? Was it when the lacking was seen that the satisfied silently slipped away?

Let the blessing of shoes, a running car and a well-paying job overcome the lacking again. For truly, anything could be put in the place of the shoes, the car and the job… what are your substitutions? Finances? A status in life? A home?

And as I am challenged to once again admit that holed shoes are the best fit for these feet, I would encourage you to value the holes in your shoes. I would encourage you to rejoice in the leaking fluids and boring work hours with a new view. A whole view.

It’s a Friday and everyone knowns that on Fridays something happens. In offices around the country and cubes to the ends of the earth, joyous bursts of “It’s a Friday” erupt on faces. Bounces return to once-dragging steps. And “good-mornings” feel a little less like a mockery. It’s the light in a co-worker’s eyes as the clock nears 4 or 5pm and the excuses of “anything to get me out of here” begin formulating in heads. It’s the breaking of silence, the stretching of arms and legs from beneath flimsy “steel” desks and ice-age computers. It’s the first step toward the door, quickly followed by the second and third as if forty-hours of sole-sucking wasn’t enough for one week and we feel bad for leaving before the forty-plus mark is hit. It’s the blissful cries of hearts as the sun hits our faces and the parking lot draws near. The sound of the trees rusting in the wind, foreignly loud to once-deaf ears. The thoughts of “two whole days!” overwhelming hot-dog roasting car interiors. And that first engine turning… and the sound of the windows gliding down… and the feeling of the breeze on your face as the jail cell is left in the rear-view mirror…

Ahhhhhh yes!!!! The weekend is so near I can taste it!!!