Thursday night Matt and I went over to the office behind our house to microwave some soup/ravioli for dinner and watch “the Family Man” (love that movie) on my laptop from the semi-comfortable choir/Sunday School chairs in Matt’s office. As I walked back to the dark house Matt, driving ahead (since he was carting all the stuff) jumped out of the car and yelled across the parking lot, “We have power”. I took off running across the parking lot toward the house. There was nothing as sweet as the sight of all our windows and blinds exposed and beaming with electricity. The smile could not be wiped from my face until sleep took it 10 minutes later. So, dear friends, at 9 something, but really at 10:30 Matt and my blackout was ended. And the light has been absolutely wonderful since.
A Little Tired
The blackout continues for this household while 100 feet behind us still has sturdy power and I think I saw a kitchen light on in my neighbor’s house. Part of me yearns to be awoken at 3am to 60-watt floodlights and a ceiling fan. But Matt’s words, “I don’t think there are really that many people working the third shift to repair power,” seem to hold some truth. I’m trying not to be complain-y and ungrateful. I mean come on, Matt and I have running water and a roof. But it does make it a bit harder to be grateful while standing in the darkness and missing essential clean-clothes items. My creativity is starting to drain as I am finding less nutrition in those microwaveables, I ate half a less-fresh yogurt for breakfast that was “saved” from our power outage, work presses on, and the night’s rest seem less and less satisfying with varying temperatures, church emergency exterior lights waking me up (have to crack the blinds to keep from overheating) and my white-noise fan silenced. Matt’s also getting behind in his school work. Again, I’m trying not to be complain-y and ungrateful, but as I skim over the words I just wrote I’m not sure if I was able to accomplish such. Let me tell you one thing that is nice that happened as a result of the blackout: Matt and I got a chance to spend unexpected time with his family, mine and a good friend’s family for mealtime and candle-lit fun. Last night we were even spoiled by the taste of electricity when we went to a friend’s in-law’s home for taco night. (Matt even got to play video games.) So really things could be much worse. It’s just that the joy of playing survivor is starting to wear off a bit. I keep waiting in eager anticipation of Matt’s phone call reporting that the ban has been lifted. Oh what a joyous day that will be.
Hope the rest of you out there are coping well with the blackout.
And I also hope the rest of you out there with electricity are appreciative of that blessing.
Blackout
We got our piece of Ike and I am grateful that it wasn’t the same piece others have received. I mean can you even imagine being stranded for who knows how long while water recedes from your living room? It brings back pictures of New Orleans disaster relief to my head. All the mud, all the mildew, all the lost memories.
Sunday at 2:30 or 3pm or maybe it was 3:30pm (can you tell I was about to fall asleep on the couch) our power went out. It had been a wonderfully windy day with gusts of wind that tore the American flag from it’s pole and broke tree branches in our backyard. But other than laughing in the pulsing wind gusts, Matt and I were fairly unscathed until the power cut. So we did what any sane person would do… we took a nap and then went for a walk in the crazy weather. But we weren’t prepared for turning the corner of the block. Trees down, power lines down and everywhere you looked neighbors were on porches to avoid the dark. Some of the youth were sitting on a skateboard with a huge tarp-kite harnessing the wind for riding power. Dakota scurried like a psycho, smelling every tree branch as we surveyed the damage. Trees hit houses and cars.
Today the trees are mostly cleared and the new hype of this morning is that a few more traffic lights were blinking on the main drag to the highway than the past few days. But our blackout continues. We are blessed that the church office has power so we were able to move our fridge and freezer items to the cold of the office fridge. So yeah for actually having food! Matt also was able to get his paper finished and sent off to Kentucky, utilizing the much-needed Internet connection in the office. But the same routine happens each night after the sun goes down… Matt and I light our 7 candles and stare at the wall… bored. But it’s cool. The blackout has given us some fond memories like sitting on the couch going stir-crazy because our cars were trapped in our garage. Or there’s the candle-lit games with Matt’s siblings and the laying on the couch with 3 candles lit listening to the school closings and rejoicing with the kids. And then there was last night and the cooking of every meat Mom and Dad had left in their freezer via the grill and the candle lit feast down south. Yeah for creativity! Oh and then don’t forget the candle-lit showers in the mornings. Those are nice (shut up Matt).
So, in all it really could be a lot worse for us. Work has electricity (go figure) so at least I’m getting caught up on paperwork since I have no afternoon off-site school groups to run (schools are shut). But the reports do say that it could take til the end of the week to restore all power. So, I wonder what other joys this week will bring along the trail of darkness. Who knows? We may even get desperate enough to bring our taco meat down to our friends down the street and share in their gas-stove goodness!
Until the power is restored or work continues in it’s slowness… “This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine….”
Behind a Hazel.
There are days that my temper runs too short. There are days when my stubbornness kicks in too strong… for the wrong reasons. There are days when my world is tipped and anyone trying to fix it is in threat of losing an eye. Have you ever had those days? It’s in those days that I am grateful that I am walking in his footsteps. His gentleness in guidance and his wisdom through love rope me back in without need for correcting words. He just trusts. And he just waits.
There are days that I feel like I could fly. Nothing can hold my wings captive any longer. Nothing can stop the breeze from carrying me. Have you ever had those days? I’m grateful that I am walking in his footsteps those days too. His supporting smiles entertain my artistic whims. His dreamer’s heart leaps at the chance to run beside me before take-off. And his practical logic keep me grounded until the air’s clear. He just trusts. And he flys with.
There are days that I just want to crawl into a hole. Maybe today the world will end. Maybe today I’ll not be seen. And the weight of this life wears on my back. The day too long and the night too short. Have you ever had those days? In those days I am grateful that I’m walking in his footsteps. He just sits beside. He abandons words. He suggests a walk knowing it’s a silent one. His arms extended. He just trusts. And he just listens.
Oh he’s not perfect. Sometimes he gets them mixed up. Sometimes the signs are confusing to read, my signals unclear. But he always tries, even when he’s tired. And I find through his example that I just trust. And I just wait. And I fly with. And I just listen. It’s in these days that I am grateful that I am walking in his footsteps. His patience is something to be admired, but he’d be the first to brush it off as “how he should act,” passing the compliment to another. But I must tell you that it is so much nicer walking in His footsteps when I am walking in his. Just look in his eyes sometime. I wonder how those eyes can carry so much… masked behind a hazel.
I love him. My best friend.
mom-instinct
Everyone looks for that perfect job. You know, the one that allows you to keep putting that scoop or two of food in the dog bowl and have enough time to complete the dishes once you get home. That one job that fits your family needs. That one job where the work environment is just tolerable enough that keeping your mouth shut and laying low works well. Looking for that one job where experience overcomes new bosses and opinions are weighed heavily no matter the extent of your degree. And we all keep looking… and hoping… until we find something that’ll “work for now until something else comes up.”
This week has been a bit hard on me. I started the week missing Matt. Our puppy got sick and that mom-instinct in me kicked in. I didn’t want to be at work and think of that sick puppy at home just waiting for her vet trip. You should have seen that big dog with her tail between her legs shaking in her cage when I got up Tuesday morning. Poor thing. And those two events combined have kind of hit me harder than I thought they would. See, I’ve missed Matt before. There have been days that I just flat out don’t want to go to work because I want to see my husband. I think, “Everyone else got to see him, but he’s mine and I want to get my share.” Monday night date nights help.
Transition is occurring at work and it’s leaving me a bit high and dry. I’ve been putting in the work for 2 jobs and I don’t see an end to this phenomenon. I’m trying to remain hopeful. Baby’s taken a growth spurt and begun to stick out more and more with each passing morning. Work people are noticing and commenting regularly. But the kids at work remain in the same intensity level, requiring running down the hallway, dragging screaming 5 and 6 year olds, and absorbing some blows here and there.
Things have changed a bit since I was first told I was taking full responsibility of the older class. I have grown a bit (as mentioned before) and this week it has become much more evident to me that I am no longer risking just my neck. See, I can take a blow from a 6 year old. I’ve taken them before and I’ll take them again before this life is over. But I can only do so much to defend this baby. Our baby. My baby.
I mentioned my concern in staff meeting yesterday regarding some highly aggressive kids and my continued growing state. Administration offered a temporary fix for which I was grateful that anything at all had been done. But the topic was concluded with the strong statement that this was merely a temporary fix until this transition was smoothed over. Only problem is that these kids aren’t leaving any time soon… and I’m not going on leave until January. So it makes me a bit more concerned about this baby’s safety, especially since this baby’s mine. If I don’t look out for it while I’m carrying it (and thereafter) no one else will. Matt can only do so much to keep our baby safe when it’s in my belly.
I don’t know… this week’s just been a little hard in that my priorities are very much elsewhere. And the balance of work and my family’s welfare seems to be a little tainted this week.
sigh
What’s In a Name?
Welp, my friends, for those of you who have been asking (nonstop) Matt and I had our first real name conversation last night. No one left in tears. No one’ feelings were hurt. No one brought baggage into or out of the conversation. There was absolutely no expectation of landing on a name last night, just brainstorming. I think I’m going to keep our brainstormed list on the fridge. We’ll just keep adding as we go along.
We came up with a list of six or so girl names and boys names… three. We struggled a bit more in boys names off the cuff. And do you know what? The conversation was kinda funny as Obediah and Habakkuk were tossed in. And we landed on a great gender-neutral name… Bleppo!
But it is funny that other people seem to be stressing out more about Matt and I having a name conversation and finding out the gender of our baby than we would ever dream of stressing. It’s hilarious to watch the faces of these overly-stressed people and get the endless advice. It’s as if 4.5 months has turned into days in their eyes. We’ve got some time here folks. And I’m sure with our list of names that we look at and think about occasionally, one of those names will pop out and stick at some point… maybe even on the way to the hospital in between contractions. =P
But anyway, we came up with some really cute girl’s names and some “eh, they’re okay” boy’s names. So we need a bit of work in the boys names category. We haven’t even attempted the realm of middle names. That I’m looking forward to having fun with. No, Bleppo won’t be in there. But middle names can be opportunities to pass on heritages and history, even if for some reason our society teaches people to be ashamed of their middle names. (Who knows why?)
Anyway, enough rambling today. We have a Sunday School Corral and festivities today that should last from 9:30am to 4 or 5pm. Matt and I are stoked… our sixth graders are coming up today. We’re gonna go get donuts and all kinds of fun (not to mention the 8 foot ranch gateway that has appeared in our side yard as church decoration). It should be an afternoon filled with gunny-sack races, ice cream, pot-luck lunch, and so many more things. I gotta tell you, it’s really quite fun to be in a small church that still enjoys the simple pleasures of hours of eating contests and festival joys.
Oh and also, I am now officially 22 weeks pregnant. Shhhh, don’t tell the baby that they have built more strength for those kicks and punches. =) It’s actually quite fun to feel and pretty soon Matt will be able to feel them from the outside too. What else does 22 weeks mean? It means baby can hear us now, is sensitive to light (so putting a flashlight on my belly can cause movement) and that baby is now 1lb in weight and about the size of a small baby doll (8 inches). Kinda fun, huh? So now the talk that Matt does to my belly can be heard, the dog barking, my music selection, my heartbeat, and much more fun. I personally think that’s kinda cool. Oh and baby’s sense of touch is also now developed so sucking thumbs/fingers and yanking on that umbilical cord are daily priorities. Again, kinda cool. (Thanks again, Renee for the book.)
Have a great Sunday, all!