I awoke on this frosty October morning after a good night’s sleep (only 1 nightmare, 2 leg cramps, 2 bathroom trips, 1 trip for a drink, and 2 quick wake-ups to roll over). Seriously, friends, that’s a good night’s sleep for me and I am really blessed by having had such a good night’s sleep. I was well overdue and hurtin’ for some good sleep.

I’ve heard MercyMe’s new song, “God with us” and it’s really put the ‘normal’ sacrifice in a new light. It’s funny how normal the gospel can become and how typical the Christmas miracle can easily write it’s way into our regular holiday preparations. Emmanuel, friends… that God would choose to come to us blows my mind. Us… dude… us!!! And that God would stoop from all His glory and righteousness to save our sorry selves. Praise be to God for surely we don’t deserve it.
Attached are the following lyrics that have touched my heart on this morning and many mornings previous. It’s so powerful. Hey and if you want to borrow the CD from me I’d be more than happy to loan it to you (even way out in Iowa if you want to borrow it, Renee).

“God with Us” by MercyMe

Who are we that You would be mindful of us?
What do You see that’s worth looking our way?
We are free in ways that we never should be.
Sweet release from the grip of these chains.

Like hinges straining from the weight,
My heart no longer can keep from singing…

All that is within me cries
For You alone be glorified:
Emmanuel!
God with us!
My heart sings a brand new song.
The debt is paid, these chains are gone.
Emmanuel!
God with us!

Lord, You know our hearts don’t deserve Your glory;
Still You show a love we cannot afford.

Like hinges straining from the weight,
My heart no longer can keep from singing…

All that is within me cries
For You alone be glorified:
Emmanuel!
God with us!
My heart sings a brand new song.
The debt is paid, these chains are gone.
Emmanuel!
God with us!

<Such a tiny offering
Compared to Calvary;
Nevertheless,
We lay it at Your feet.
Such a tiny offering
Compared to Calvary;
Nevertheless,
We lay it at Your feet.>

All that is within me cries
For You alone be glorified:
Emmanuel!
God with us!
My heart sings a brand new song.
The debt is paid, these chains are gone.
Emmanuel!!!
God with us!!!

***Click on the link to hear an excerpt of the song (you have to pick “God with Us” from the selection list). “God with us” soundbite.

Never underestimate the peace in a quiet half hour to catch yourself and pull it all together. And never underestimate the joy in being kicked for that half hour as a reminder that despite the stresses, there is coming a joy that cannot be put to words. Never underestimate the peace that comes from a silent cry to our Lord for patience and words.

God is good. All the time.
And all the time. God is good.

Even when we can’t see how these pieces are going to fit together.

Thanks to those who listened and sent their phone-mailed hugs yesterday.

… one step at a time… one step at a time…

and soon I can look behind and see how I’ve gotten there one step at a time…

So friends, I’m going to be honest here. This past week at work has been hard. I’ve stayed late at work nearly every day of this past week. And on Friday I put in an 11 hour day. While this proved to move the week through quite quickly, exchanging time with my husband for no addition to my paycheck is difficult for me. Friday hit a bit hard since baby and I didn’t get anything close to a good eating schedule in light of the craziness of work. And that poor eating schedule mixed with sheer exhaustion contributed to an early Saturday morning sickness episode. Odd how when your body needs nutrition you can’t seem to keep it down. I met my match this past week. And I guess the thing that makes it harder is that I’m not very assured that this new standard of “staying late” to complete the new paperwork requirements is going anywhere anytime soon. As one who likes to give their best and their all, it’s a frustration to leave projects unfinished. But I must admit that my limit has been altered over these past months. The conflict between the standard that I used to be able to hold and the standard that I can now hold is a bit frustrating at times. But I am reminding myself again and again that I am now making decisions for more than just myself.

Either way, I just wanted to share the honesty of the struggle between loving a husband with all your efforts and the desire to dive directly into bed at the end of each day. I’m sure many of these seasoned moms and wives have felt the similar strain of helping provide and love their family as Christ asks. It just begins to concern me regarding caring for my family and keeping this current job in light of last week’s (the past few weeks) requirements and the fact that baby is fairly easy to care for right now. The struggle is hard and real some days. But i am so blessed to have a weekend to live my real priorities before entering back into the grind of things.

Love your family and sacrifice accordingly. Even when the going is tough.

The other week I looked out the window and saw our dog dragging a 6-foot tree branch across our yard. Let’s just face it friends, our dog is cool. And Matt was right, no dachshund could accomplish such yard organization.

We need to invest in the “Our dog could eat your preschooler” bumper sticker of pride.

“Where’s the dog?” I questioned realising I had not seen her in a while.
“I don’t know.” Matt’s response rose from the intense computerized poker game.
– silence-
“Maybe outside?” he suggested.
(laugh) “Did you put her out there?” I questioned.
“I don’t know.” came a distracted response.
-silence-
…”It sounds like something I’d do.”

Well it’s been a week and she’s been quite tolerant of my extra lovings (in fact I think she likes it all the more). I do miss Cheddar, but I had closure so that really helps. I haven’t cried in a week. But I’m no longer concerned about crying. (yes, Robin… I did just say that.) I just take it as it comes. Oh but did I mention that I missed him cause I do.

For the past two mornings I’ve woken up before my alarm clock and felt semi-rested. Jackie, a friend, has been having contractions just not close enough together yet to bring their daughter into the world. She’s hoping come Sunday (her deceased mother’s birthday) she’ll have a good reason not to be sitting in the familiar pews. I’m looking forward to her and her family’s new addition. “This’ll be you in a few months,” she has said throughout this journey. She’s such a sweet woman and her husband could not be more thrilled about the upcoming birth of his fourth little girl.

Things have just been trucking along here. I’ve been doing more cooking and my end of the deal when it comes to loading the dishwasher (trying to put on the illusion that we’re trying around here). Matt and I bathed the puppy last night so this morning she is good and squeaky clean and soft… for the morning rain that she refuses to pee in.

Rain seems fitting today. I welcome the mellowness it brings.

I was talking to the baby yesterday while in the car (yes, I look crazy). I had forgotten that the baby could hear the outside world for a few weeks and figured I’d flex the insanity to say “I love you.” Opened my eyes a little more to a reality that Matt and I are going to be riding in a few months. Family has taken on so much in trying to plan to care for someone we’ve never known and yet have always known how to care for. Again, it’s like a huge guessing game and little one hasn’t even showed their face yet. We’re so excited at the idea of ruining another’s life (just kidding). But it still feels surreal sometimes, despite the strong kicks, flips, and protruding belly.

Fall has arrived. Thanks be to God. how I love the fall. The nip has returned to the air. Pumpkin this, pumpkin that and the fall festivities are in full float. Corn mazes and all. I just love the fall. I can’t explain it. It’s just so awesome even though we don’t really participate in the typical fall activities too frequently. It’s just such a wonderful season of beautiful death (I’m talking about the leaves here). =) Yes, indeed, fall is to be thankful for. (Thankful enough to end a sentence in a preposition. – that one’s for Robin.)

Okay… better finish rambling and get ready for another “office day” filled with “office stuff” and then real life can happen. =)

Enjoy your day today, all.