Month: March 2011

Memories

I ran across an old Client’s mother today. I was suddenly back in my old office – funny how memories work. Back came that previously-familiar awkward balance of confidentiality and still trying to be personable. It blew my mind to reminisce on my Rachael being 11 months old when I first came home to be a stay-at-home mom. Abi was still a hopeful idea as we knew little about her, but her strong kicks. That feeling of being on the brink of a world-flipping and yet still trying to keep your job and life in line. The hours of caring for others’ children in therapy and group therapy sessions while wishing to just get the privilege of only taking care of my own. Oh the days of having a split heart – one desire to help others while that ache of someone else caring for my responsibility – my baby. And my client’s sweet, smiling face. So funny the memories of encouraging my client’s and client’s family’s pursuit of Christ, while trying not to lose my job in the secular world. It all came flooding back in that odd moment when the past met the present for a few minutes.
I was reminded that life is so short and so worth priority changes.

A dear member of our church suddenly passed away in a tragic plane crash yesterday. Matt had the hard job of accompaning Pastor out of the newly widow’s house to share the news and help the widow call her children. In one instance an always-willing Bible teacher, father of three girls, husband of 51 years, and fellow runner after Jesus went to meet Christ face to face. Like Pastor said last night to his awaiting Bible Study class, “His faith became sight.” It still feels surreal to me. I expect to see him on Sunday, him passing his Christ-honoring encouragement out to all he encounters. I still expect to see him in the church hallway, sharing about the utter joy he has for a new thing God taught him during his quiet time in the Word. We’re all a bit shaken up. David Cowherd will be missed so much. And yet something in the back of my mind makes me smile, a sad hurt smile, but a deep smile nonetheless that after countless years of pouring himself over the Word, soaking in all that the Word projects about Jesus, and spending countless amount of time in conversation with others -seeking Jesus in all ways, our dear brother, David’s face must have been a sight to see when he opened his eyes and saw… Jesus!…

Today just feels like a quiet day. A day of thanks for how far God has brought me, but also just a day to struggle to find words. A day to close my eyes and find silence. So many lessons He brings to mind. So many unanswered questions. And yet such hope that He has set before us.

Life can be so short. How will we be remembered? What difference will we make? What Kingdom work will we do?

That more would be left than our possessions.

That Christ would be lifted higher.

– A crown to lay at His feet. –

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Outside

The spurts of beautiful weather stampedes my little clan outdoors. Oh how we long for the fresh air, wind in our hair, and freedom to RUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNN!!!

So here’s a taste of our adventures outdoors.

Enjoying the ride.

Our lucky tag-along choosing to push the baby.

Daddy’s helper walking Dakota.

Feeding the ducks.

Gotta love some fun with the cousins:

Bekka (3 yrs)

John (2 yrs)

And Josiah (10 mths)

Josiah doing what he does best – being cute.

Tunnel slides

the favorite… swings (esp. with Daddy pushing)

Oh the joys of the G-Force

can you tell they’re her favorite?

And when it’s all said and done and we’re headed back:

this happens.
(She calls it, “Daddy snuggle me.”)

And this one has been like this for the whole time. hehe.

O how we LOVE the glorious outdoors!

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Gratitude

To those who take the extra time

And go the extra mile
to be with her – right where she is.

Thank you.

It means the world.
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My Bitty Biter

Proof of my bitty biter. (Click to look close)

Playing just wears you out.

Accomplishment in pulling to your knees.

But sometimes you get stuck and need someone to bail you out.

Oh my sweet little Abi! How I love you!

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A Bit O’ Earth

So going along with the Secret Garden theme, I’ve come to the dreaded duty of weeding the front planter boxes. To give you a bit of perspective, all along the front of our house are three large planter boxes. Now “the front” of our house is really the entire length of our house, the door is in the middle of our home, and some brilliant landscaper decided to plant a total of 13 or 14 bushes, all of which lie in beautiful planter boxes – and require pruning naturally. My planter boxes are 3-4 feet in width at some sections and the small bushes are planted in the middle of the boxes – allowing weeding on both the front and back sides of the bushes. While these bushes are a bit cute, when I forget about the weeding, this non-gardening Mama dislikes – a lot – the never-ending prickly weeds that flock to bush-country. Maybe I’m just such a good gardener that everything wants to grow in my dirt? (Coughs).

So this morning the girls took a nap at the same time – mark this day down in history – and I could put them both down in the morning because I don’t have Lexi today (whom I pick up from school in the morning) due to this weekend’s illness pandemic in our household. [We have a Dr. appointment for Rachael this afternoon.] And in the art of self-sacrifice, I decided to be my own Mistress Mary and try to find delight in weeding the last HUGE flower bed. So, no joke, it took me about 45 minutes to clear away a three feet long section out of the twelve or thirteen foot long flowerbed. I nearly filled an entire huge trash bag of weeds.

And all I have to say after my experience is:

Bad Eve… no apple!

– Seriously, I enjoyed the prayer time and quiet amid the work. Maybe a gardener is growing in me yet? And maybe this too shall pass. hehe. =)

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"Mommy read book?"

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTMLexhwi0o?fs=1]

“Mommy read book?” she pleas as the climbs in bed to snuggle up for a nap. When Rachael was 11 months old, we made the family choice for me to become a stay-at-home mom. Abi, whom we had yet to know to be Abi, was on the way and my heart overflowed with the prospect of being there fully to raise our kids. I rearranged the kitchen, did some serious housecleaning to kick off the week and began a new tradition, reading before nap time.

I remember my mom reading the Lord of the Ring’s series to us before bed, my sister and I fighting to stay awake longer to hear “just one more chapter.” We were elementary aged and past the “little kid book” age. But I found such a joy in the stories coming to life in our minds – no need for pictures, we were each writing our own movie as the text filled our imaginations.

I began the Anne of Green Gables series when Rachael was 11 months old. I still remember the joy of feeling her little body drift into sleep amid turning the pages and rocking. And it’s so precious to me to think that ever since Abi could hear from the womb she has drifted to sleep amid a story. I remember feeling Abi get heavier inside me as she neared her ripeness toward the end of Rachael’s lap-rocking days. When Abi joined us on this side of the womb, Rachael would fall asleep in her bed and I would rock Abi while sifting through the Chronicles of Narnia series and a Karen Kingsbury novel (yes, Matt finally convinced me). There’s something beautiful about knowing your kids are falling asleep to the soothing pattern and rhythm of your voice. And here we are today, with the Secret Garden.

Today we met Colin for the first time and a flood of a high school musical emerged in my mind. I love how a good book captures you as the scene is painted in your mind. But the scene coming to my mind was literally painted on sliding set pieces. I remembered try-outs with my sister, one of the first things I remember coming together to accomplish (due to high school falling at such a “sisters are uncool” age). My sister, an ever-so-old Junior, and then there was me, a little scared Freshman. My sister had the part of Lily in the bag, literally just waiting for the formalities of try-outs. But the part of Colin was up for grabs among all my friends. Whoever got the role of Colin would be immediately excommunicated from the group as the rest would probably be listed amongst the long list of “chorus” (hehe). My sis jumped into action, practicing and practicing with me. I remember thinking, “WOW! She knows me outside of the house too?!” (love ya, Jes.)

And then the call-backs list and the final posting sealed it all. I had my first lead in a musical, playing my sister’s son. There was much make-up, ace bandages to make the illusion of a boy’s chest appear, and a wig that took nearly 2 hours to put on my head (tucking my long hair beneath). But something magical came from singing “Come to my Garden” with my sister. I will never forget the excitement rush of hearing her beautiful voice cut through the fog (fog machined in) and pierce through the silence of the room. It was a moment. A moment indeed. And then that bridge… “I shall see you in my garden…” those tight harmonies. It was so neat. The show took on a life of it’s own.

The lady on the recording has NOTHING on my sister. You should see Daddy’s recording. =) But I do remember practicing to this version with my sister as we prepared for try-outs. It was just lovely. Lovely indeed.

Some pieces of the experiences God has given me are hard to convey. Rachael and Abi may never know the feeling of standing, or in my case laying on a bed (I was a crippled boy), and knowing that an audience of some hundred(s) of people are watching and yet feeling like no one else is there, but whomever is on stage. I hope Rachael and Abi get the chance to lose themselves in a musical number (not as in become loose morally here people). Just so much fun. So shaping and altering.

Funny how God has used some small-town moments to build up this stage-fright child within me. hehe.

Anyway… back to house chores.

– looking forward to tomorrow’s nap-time reading.

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