Month: June 2011

Water Play Day

This week is one of Lexi’s final weeks at our house before she starts her vacationing, summer camp and then on into her first grade plans. So with only 2 weeks of fun left for us around here (the 2 weeks have a 3 week recess in between), we’ve been trying to have themed-ish days. Monday we went to boonshoft children’s museum and my camera lived on it’s protected shelf at home. There’s something about taking a few kids (one being a baby) that allows minimal extra hands for pictures. Tuesday, Lexi spent the day with a friend. And today was Water Play Day.

Thus the following 900 (kidding! No dying) pictures are from our water play adventures in the good ole backyard of fun!

 Happy baby cuteness – with teeth!

 O the fun, O the fun.
(THANKS MOM!!! They LOVE it!)
 Daddy adding hot water to the pool
– go on with your hypothermia-preventing bad self, babe!
 Please forgive Rachael, she’s in an ugly smiling phase
(that is if you can get her to sit still long enough AND look at the camera).
 sweet intimate friends.
 pretty much how most pics go of this child – she’s talking and not looking at the camera.
(photographer hits her head)
 Watching Lexi’s daredevil jumping into the pool moves from the safety of a good distance away Rachael kept yelling “do it again!” hehehe. my little precautious one.
 Nothing like the joy of a good warm towel when the water gets a little too cool.
 Rachael working so hard to be “just like Lexi.”
 And yes, even I joined in on the fun. But according to
precautious Rachael I moved around and splashed too much. hehehe.
 Outdoor picnic – I love our wagon. Useful in so many ways.
 mmmmm. good.
 the blonde-haired, fair skinned, we-no-like-the-sun shade section of our dining experience.
 Someone enjoyed their summer sun cat nap.
 (sorry for the slight fuzziness, my camera was thinking too hard. hehe)
 She is just tall enough to furniture walk around the exterior
of the pool, using the wall for balance, and O how it delights her so.
 Look! She does actually smile naturally! AND I caught it “on film.”
 No matter how big she gets, she’ll always be my baby Rachael.
My sweet little girl.
 You really have no idea how hard to was to capture this picture.
But at least we have 3 pairs of eyes and 2.5 smiles. =) YAY!
 YAY! BOTH my kids in a pic AND smiling. Woot! Woot!

Abi’s getting brave in the corner, while Rachael delights in the sun-warmed water.
And what better than to end it all with a little cleaning water play in the good ole bathtub.
2 for 1 cleaning, suits and kids all in one. =) [Talk about simplifying, eh Jess? ]
And then the children promptly fell asleep for a long and sound nap time.
Mmmm the joys.
O How I love thee, Water Play Day. =)

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Two Lanes?

“Hi, I’m Monica Stauffer and I have an addiction.”

I’ve never been to an AA meeting, and honestly have never drank (at all), but I’d imagine myself to stand up and admit this to an equivalent “Parenting Addiction” meeting. My addiction? You may wonder – it’s being strict.

Now before you pull out the tyrant flag to fly in my front yard, let me take a brief moment to explain: (brief? is anything done briefly on this site? – HA!)

I believe kids need firm boundaries. (I know, I’m broken.) I believe love comes in sacrificing now to gain later from their obedience. I am not willing to use excuses, even good ones, about my kids being too young to discipline. I’m not talking punishment, I’m talking training my children in the way I want them to behave. I am old-school when it comes to being strict. There is an honest part of me that does not want to put myself into the position of being the Mother of a tantruming child who has never heard “no” until the grocery store. But I will be stubborn enough to refuse to reward a tantrum – REGARDLESS of if I would rather no one label me a tyrant. I am seeking obedience, not for the sake of obedience, but as an example of Rachael and Abi’s love for me. Even at a young age, I think it’s attainable for Rachael to obey – not perfection – but at least be able to tell you why I want her to listen to me. Again, I don’t expect perfection, but I do expect obedience and consequence comes from disobedience. My expectations are clear and I try my hardest to be consistent. And I really want people to enjoy being with my kids as much as I do.

Downfall to being strict?

I begin to wonder if pattern obedience can come from any other method. I run the risk of believing strictness is the only way to raise a child – or the only worthy way? (don’t judge me – hehe) I don’t enjoy being around “out of control” kids because I have worked so hard to teach my children self-control. And this is hard because I am not some superior Mom. I’m really just trying to figure this out. But I am goal-focused in my interactions with my kids. And since my goal is not to be a tyrant and not to cater to chaos or selfishness there is a constant evaluation and re-evaluation of my parenting. Parenting is a balance. Only one of the problems that I am encountering is that being a strict Mom is going out of style in my generation. We seem to have exchanged good parenting with Lysol wipes. Now, I’m not hating on Lysol wipes, just hating on raising kids in a sanitation bubble. It’s as if protecting my child from all germs equals good parenting. Daycares and schools can teach my kids respect. Or they are too young to learn how to treat people because “kids will be kids” when it comes to picking on siblings (AKA disrespecting siblings).

I really have moments of struggling, if I’ll be honest. Struggling to not take it personally that I look “too strict” at times. And struggling to not get frustrated when my kid’s obedience is labeled as “good natured” instead of the hours of hard work I have put into whipping them into shape (not literally, people).

I, like any other Mom, seek to compare my kids – not in a bad way. Are they doing ok? Is my parenting working? Are these kids really “off the chain” and I’m not aware of it? Am I being too strict? Only most examples that I am seeing are those “clear out, they’re here” kind of kids that you hope don’t hurt your kids at the mall. (hehe). Or those “how old is that kid and still sucking a pacifier” kids at the grocery. Maybe I’m a product of a small church. After all, my kids are 2/3 of the nursery population on a regular basis – and that’s spanning 2 nurseries, people.

I just struggle to believe that lose boundaries really can produce “good” kids. Maybe that’s because it feels like the “easy road” to parenting and it’s hard to justify that the easy road works when I’m over here busting my butt.

It’s times like these and questions like these that make me “just want my Mommy.” Makes me want to run away from critical parenting world and “be Amish”, segregated and doing your own thing with those who think like you (no these aren’t my only beliefs about Amish people, just roll with the analogy people- wink, wink).

Parenting is personal. My kids are a reflection of me. And I don’t know anyone that pours their whole self into something and then hopes it gets shot down.

I am so blessed to have a husband who supports me – even when I have “too strict” moments. He doesn’t call me out in front of the kids, challenging my authority, instead he waits and talks to me about it when the kids aren’t in earshot. He allows me to learn and grow and loves me through my insecurities in parenting. I am blessed. I am well aware. We are a team and I do not cast off the utter gratitude I have for the blessing of my husband. Thank You, Jesus, for my Matt. 

I just have real parenting thoughts – wanting to honor God the best in my raising of HIS kids. Not for a pat on the back from enablers (though kind words are reassuring), but for the glory of God. I want God’s Name to get the fame for the way my kids treat people. I want God’s Name to be desirable by testimony of the way my kids reflect my love through obedience. Christ Himself stated that obedience is a public display of our love for Him. While I am FAR less than Christ to my kids (oh the failures), I do know that the more Rachael and Abi want to please me the more they will obey. And Rachael and Abi will want to please me if they love me and feel my love in a very real way. They will have their fall-out moments of “For serious? Did you just do that?” I do not expect perfection, but I do expect them to want to obey me because they know I reward obedience. My unconditional love for them is not contingent upon their obedience, but my reward (not just tangible) is attached to their obedience.

I am proud of my girls. They are “good girls.” They fail the perfection test (show me on person who doesn’t!) and their eyes speak of the confidence they have in my unconditional love. AND their obedience is not their “good nature”, sure it is their blessed temperament from God mixed with years (“year” in Abi’s case) of hard work.  I’m no hero of a Mom (HA!), but I want people to want to be around my kids – even when I’m not there to keep them in line- because they are more than just moral beings, but because they healthily seek to please you through their respect and obedience (as that manifests itself through a 2.5y/o and a 1y/o).

– just thinking and struggling and evaluating my parenting policy while thanking God.

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In and Out

Our application came in the mail today. We filled it in and sent it back out the mail today – we were ready peeps, we were ready. Now we’ll see what God does with a little obedience and a lot of prayer.

And in the meantime, I’ve moved a desk, begun organizing the hallway closet, moved 2 dressers, tried to tackle the “I’m living on the guest bedroom all summer” laundry, organized my craft stuff, opened the guest bedroom closet, screamed and shut the closet, and begun planning a little bedroom remodeling for our whenever-God-chooses family member.

Seriously, friends, I’m loving life right now.

God is good!

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Preparations Begin

We had finished a book about George Muller, having read of his adventures for nearly a week and a half of nap times. I’m not sure how much Rachael reaped from the book, but my harvest was great. I would encourage any and all to get their hands on a good George Muller reading. It could change the way you view prayer and obedience.

Orientation is still fresh on our breath, Matt and I sat through the first three hours of our adventure toward adoption. We have direction and a fresh perspective on God’s potential time frame of this step. We learned that the licensure process takes about 6 months, with 36 hours of classes (now only 33 for us) and various inspections for our homestudy. The next step is the application. We’re expecting it in the mail shortly and then we will complete it and return it to then be assigned our caseworker within two weeks. At the completion of our caseworker assignment we may proceed with classes, inspections and ultimately receive our license in 6 months. After the license is complete we are then cleared to receive referral calls at any time. Once we receive a referral call we get the blessing of praying about that child and hearing from God if that’s our next family member. So in lamen’s terms, we could hear of our next family member in a minimum of six months. Let’s put that in the close terms that it is – that’s as early as Rachael’s 3 year old birthday. Now, God’s timing is a different story. We’ll find out what His timing is. But there are 70 children in the system waiting for homes. And our job is to be ready.

So getting ready we are: piece by piece we’re putting together/cleaning out our “guest bedroom” to be our next family member’s bedroom. Since we don’t know the age of the child or the gender until the referral call we’ll be setting up our extra crib and twin bed for the time being. And our job is pretty clear: complete the application/licensure, have the room set and vacant, pray, trust, and wait. God will supply the child. God will orchestrate the timing. We are just to prepare the field and ask for the harvest.

To God be the Glory!

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A Mommy in God

Here’s a little something I read this morning that encourages a change of perspective for Moms out there. (click and read, friends.)

Now commentary:

Agreed – how much of a blessing and how God-honoring can we be in serving Christ with a heart of missions in our “every day” tasks. And yet I wish the article would have highlighted on one other thing – taking those exact words of encouragement to their fullest form – We are raising missionaries. Now our kids may never move to foreign countries (take a look around the US, the mission field is at our doorstep), but perspective and purpose changes when I think of my girls as beginning missionaries verses just trying to be moral and polite. Moral and polite are responses of humility and gratefulness, which are characteristics we receive in Christ. I don’t want to create just moral kids, I want to create kids that want Jesus. For in wanting Jesus they will seek Him, obey Him, and serve Him.

In trying to help create missionaries, I tell them about God’s work around the world. I want them to feel the joys and the pains in the work of our Father. I want them to know more and more of the Word of God. And feel bold and brave in Christ. There is a different focus and drive in thinking of raising missionaries because even the little things I teach, like sharing and not yelling at your friends (you know, just to name some random one – wink, wink), are not just for the purpose of having the prized toddler on the playground. It’s because Jesus loves us and tells us to love others. And how are my kids or others going to know about Jesus unless I talk about Him?

Sure my baby kids are too young to grasp the fullness of sanctification and working out our salvation (we’re still praying of their moments of salvation), but in my explaining and reexplaining what the motivation behind my actions are for my kids, not only am I allowing the opportunity for the lifestyle pattern of Christ to be normal in our lives, but I also am thinking more about God myself. Ever done that: Taught yourself a little something while attempting to teach your kids?

I don’t have any idea when Rachael and Abi are going to make their first memory, retain their first Bible verse or hopefully, have their first Ah-Ha Jesus moment. But my job, my joyful and wonderful job, as a Mom is to provide and seek out as many opportunities as I can to teach about Jesus – even while folding the laundry. Not because I want to manipulate the time I have with my kids to be a formal teaching moment, but because Jesus deserves my every thought and my every word. And through me thinking aloud about Jesus to my kids, I am being obedient in training my kids up “in the way they should go” oh that they would not “sway from that path.”

THIS is my hope and my prayer and my delight as a Mommy in God.

=)

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Answered

You know it may sound silly, but after 2 months of looking for our wagon and trying to be frugal and most responsible with our funds, I said a prayer on Abi’s birthday that we could get her the wagon. I was in contact with another lady about the wagon (I had contacted “a few” about their wagons) and she had not responded past my original interest. We were running out of time and I was starting to get bummed that we would have nothing to give Abi on her birthday. While she wouldn’t remember, it mattered to me – enough so that I had been working on it for 2 months.

And God answered our prayer. You know, if God would have answered our prayer with a “no” He still would have been God and He still would be doing the best for us. It’s just nice to know that even the little silly things, in comparison to eternity, that matter to our hearts matter to our Father. So thank You, again, God for the blessing of bringing these smiles to her on her birthday:

She loves it.
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