While in an adoption training we heard this story:

There was an adoptive/foster mom on the trainer’s caseload back when she was doing casework. This foster mom went to her foster son’s IEP meeting at his school to advocate on his behalf.  Everything was addressed in that meeting from the child’s behaviors to his current educational needs. And this mother sat on her own at the meeting in representation of her boy.

She noticed some cruel glances shot in her direction as the topic of the child’s “born addicted” status arose regarding his current behaviors. The boy sat silently and watched his foster mom as he noticed the judgements placed on her shoulders.  The foster mother sat contently, continuing to advocate for the boy’s services.

Not once did the mother state that she wasn’t his biological mother or distance herself from the drug abuses inflicted upon this boy through, “it wasn’t me” deflection.

Instead, she just took it all on her shoulders and left the meeting, having done the best she could for her boy.

The school district was unaware that her boy was not her biological son.
According to that foster mom, that “foster” label was on a need-to-know basis.

– Sometimes love is so strong it’s hard to put into words.