Month: March 2012

Open Eyes

It was something in the scrolling through the Bible School material, the constant planes, the play passports we were ordering for the kids, Daddy’s old passport Rachael has been playing with, Daddy’s new passport sitting on the counter, the missionaries and countless children on our missions wall, the adoption stories I have read and celebrated with as children from desperate situations in and out of the States have found their Jesus-loving forever families… something in it all brought a tear to my eyes.

This years VBS theme is “Amazing Adventures” and is airplane themed. Each year Matt, Mark and I tackle the sixth grade class. Usually by sixth grade VBS is no longer cool. The glamor and flare of VBS has become commonplace and the kids are coming because their parents are involved or their little siblings wanted to go. Matt, Mark and I try to take that opportunity to not focus on the cute- VBS, but instead we lean more on the side of “cooler” stuff. I have enjoyed the challenge of transforming a brightly-lit, plane Sunday school room into a basketball court in the Bronx, an outdoor Western Scene and various other “slightly on the edge” themes in VBS pasts. This year we’re going “world travel” in our theme, erring on the side of transforming the room into an airport hanger with country flags hanging. We’ve erred on the dog tag, military, and world travel side of the cute airplane theme, choosing our symbol to be a bomber.

While I am one to believe that the Word does not speak void or does not need dressed up to speak, it is nice to pray over and try to break down barriers and allow the kids to be comfortable in their uncomfortable skins.

But all the airplanes and passports and luggage and country flags carry so much more today than they have in the years past.

Monday we drop Matt off with his Daddy at the airport with hugs and kisses. He and his Dad are going on a preview trip to Haiti in preparation of planning next year’s first-ever youth mission trip out of the country. Matt’s vaccinations, malaria medicine, and travel preparations have filled our household conversations for a few weeks now. This will be Matt’s first trip out of the country and I am as certain as can be on this side of Heaven that it will not be his last.

Haiti has brought up so many conversations: adoption focus, world missions, our family’s involvement in world missions, local missions, potential 3 year missions stints with our family, short-term missions, bringing the gospel to unreached people, who constitutes as unreached people, and so many more topics. God has really been using the past few years to open our hearts and our minds to the reality of His hand around the World. Isn’t it funny how you can learn that God loves the whole world and God has the whole world in His hands, but as you allow God to breathe the Truth of that into your heart it’s like the blinders come off?

Matt surprised me this past Christmas with a future trip to Jos, Nigeria, to visit and see firsthand the community for which I have been praying. The community that is displayed on our missions wall through a few pictures. The community that we track the time of with our “Nigeria clock.” The children, the faces, the hearts…. needless to say it was overwhelming. I would never have anticipated seeing or meeting these people and have been content to just love them from across the ocean.

With God’s timing and the reality of vaccinations, this trip has been postponed to next year. (Yellow fever does not have a pregnancy equivalent and dying, I’m hoping, is not on the agenda). While my heart looks forward to and longs for the adventure to visit such dear friends and the Nigerian people, I am so excited at the prospect of seeing the fruit of Will and Theresa’s labor in the Lord as they begin to close out their 3 year mission stint, turning the work over to those that they have trained and invested in for three years: the Nigerians.

And then there’s the heart for the world that God is opening inside of me as He reveals His heart for mankind – no matter how sinful. I am blessed to be in the shelter of His hand, for His full heart for His people is beyond me to comprehend. But He is such a good God that He would even dare to open my eyes to His compassion.

Missions adventure readings have flooded our household. Conversations about the nations and God’s heart for the nations have saturated our dinner tables and family walks. Practical sacrifices and being useful to the Lord here and now has filled our planning in more ways than financial planning.

This all comes to mind upon thinking about passports, luggage and airplanes.

Something in it all brought a tear to my eyes.

It was the heart of God.

The heart of God.

– Thankful.

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Anticipating Everything BUT This…

A few days ago I posted our goodbye to a beloved friend. I wanted to update you all on the grieving process:

She appears to be over it. I’m not even sure if she needed a grieving process, honestly. She asked twice during nap the first day about her pacifier to which I told her “Paci’s all gone. Paci’s bye bye.” And she altered her affection to her blanket and singing seahorse (who were previously a needed trio and now a needed duo). At night time (day 1) she didn’t even mention it. The following day at nap time she asked about paci. I told her the same two lines I had recited the day before. She moved on. That night (day 2) – no issues. Yesterday (day 3) at nap she never mentioned the pacifier and yesterday at bed she asked one time with the same response to my answer.

Today (day 4) she didn’t mention it at nap time.

That’s it. My drama queen has been surprisingly undramatic about the whole process.

I had anticipated everything but this kind of a reaction.

Wow! That was easy! This ROCKS!

So it appears that the beloved friend is in the past with minimal eye batting and much moving forward.

As for blankey and seahorse? I couldn’t care less if she sleeps with them for the rest of her life. They won’t make her teeth rot out or delay her speech. And they are loved, snuggling friends who provide much comfort primarily at bedtime or on “waking up on the wrong side of the bed” mornings. Dude, we all need our comfort snuggling every once in a while. 😉

– Thanks, Jesus, for the evidence of her trusting that we’ll provide what she needs.

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The Least

While sitting on my porch swing during the girls afternoon nap, I was reading the Word. I read a bit about doing unto “the least of these” (Matt. 25:40) serving Jesus. I flipped on to the next passage in our daily Scripture Readings and read Philippians chapter 1. Paul spoke there of how his current situation was spreading the gospel.

I was just praying in my heart to use my home as a ministry when I looked up from the Bible to see a young teenager stumbling across the road, carrying a baby pumpkin seat. The afternoon sun had come out and the girl was obviously fatigued. My first thought was wishing I had a stroller to give her to help her with her load. But then thinking of how God has not given us so much to give out, I then thought what I had.

I walked over to the road and offered her a drink, in which she gladly came. Asking her about her baby, she offered that she was 3 months old. I came out of the house with a drink and peaked in on the little one. A huge smile came from the baby that melted my heart. I instantly thought how the child had no control over the situation and my heart immediately thought of the many, many children needing adoption from situations far worse.

The young mother asked me for a phone. When I came out from the house with our phone, she proceeded to call someone nearby and explain that she believed she was miscarrying, had been refused help from someone she knew and saw up the street, and needed someone to watch the baby while she went to the hospital. The person on the phone offered their help to watch the child and the conversation ended. I offered the mother a few female supplies to help and then she walked on with a bit more energy in her step.

I was stuck at the house with two sleeping little ones otherwise I would have happily driven her to her destination. But I am so amazed how the Lord opened an opportunity literally from my front porch to serve someone in their need. And how that precious baby’s smile is burned into my mind.

I hope and pray the Lord NEVER stops bringing people by our house.

God blows me away!

Ministry is all around us.

All we need is willing hands. 

– To the least of these, my Jesus.

*** Please hear my heart that I am not trying to brag and bring glory to myself in this post. Instead, I just wanted to share the goodness of our God to use open and willing hands. Many times I have far from open and willing hands, but this time was different and God just blew me away.

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Learning Lately

It’s days like today that I just feel so blessed to be a part of this family God has given me. There was nothing special today, nothing out of the ordinary. Just a regular day. But it’s amazing how different the day can feel through eternal eyes.

Gratitude. It’s been something my dear friend, Theresa, and I have been trying to incorporate more of in our everyday lives. And I could not stress more how our everyday lives differ. She’s in the dry season Nigerian desert, me in the cool Ohio Spring. She’s in the “foreign world” and I’m on the “homefront”. But we share some common things too. She’s on the mission field (3 year missionary with her husband to Nigeria) and so am I (serving in the States and through prayer and finances). Do I long to walk the dusty streets of Nigeria some day? – oh how my heart longs. But I do not long so for my ministry there to begin that it discredits my ministry here.

I think there is a danger in Christians viewing ministry in the extremes. We are truly ministering to God if we are full-time on staff at a church or “on foreign soil”. This is not to discredit either of those positions. But could God possibly call us to be a martyr in our own house?

Luke 9:23 says, “And He was saying to them all, ‘ If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me.” (emphasis mine). 

Sounds like daily martyrdom to me.

Matt guest preached at a nearby church Sunday from Ephesians 3:14-19. Wish you could have been there. Your heart would have been cheering and uplifted like mine. So amazing to sit there and just feel the exhortation from the Lord filling your heart and mind. It was like Jesus was saying, “be full, child, and run hard the race before you!”

Ephesians 3:14-19 goes like this [exactly like this to be specific 😉 ] :
(Keep in mind that Paul is speaking to people that will later be martyred and harshly persecuted for their faith – the very people whose faith and deaths God will use to bring more to the faith)

“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name (the Alpha and Omega), that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory (limitless, never-ending glory, people), to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love (key part), may be able to comprehend with all the saints (counted among the saints? those amazingly loyal ones sold out for Jesus) what is the breadth and length and height and depth (can you even imagine?), and to know (KNOW!) the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge (indescribable), that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.”
* (commentary clearly mine).

Can you even imagine that people? That we would be filled up to all the fullness of God. I can’t even fathom that. I can’t even grasp that concept in my mind. The fullness of God through joy, peace, love, hope, might…. His attributes are endlessly wonderful. And just like God through Matt explained, all we have to do is ask. It’s not like God is unwilling to grant us things in line with His will. It’s not like He wants us to walk through this life as mediocre believers. It’s not like He’s restraining his fullness from us. He is more than willing. He died in an ultimate display of willingness.

Gratitude! What more could we possibly be thankful for?

 When we look at our lives through God’s eyes suddenly right where we are becomes our ministry. I am not waiting to do something for the Kingdom – today I can. Maybe my ministry is begging the Lord of the Harvest to send more laborers. Maybe my ministry is asking the Lord for His fire and His zeal and more of Jesus in me that more of Jesus would touch someone’s life for His glory. Maybe my ministry is showing my children unconditional love and practicing self-control in Christ when they are living out their sin nature. Maybe my ministry is doing an extra load of dishes to serve my family and my husband.

The Lord has not forgotten us. The Lord has not mistakenly placed us “on layaway” until we can do something Kingdom worthy. He has given us an opportunity TODAY to deny ourselves, take up our cross (crucifying our flesh and walking in the spirit) and follow Jesus. When we follow Christ in speech, manner, the way we love others, the way we raise our kids, the way we open our homes and our lives to believers and non-believers, the way we set aside time to meditate on the Word and let it permeate the depths of our soul, we point to the Leader of our follow-the-leader-line. The Head. The very One worthy of all the praise, honor and glory.

Today, dear brothers and sisters, today “lift your eyes up to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, Maker of heaven and earth,” , “seek first the Kingdom of Heaven and all else will be added to you,” , “delight in the Lord your God,” , “lean not on your own understanding,” , “run the race, fight the good fight and keep the faith.” For we can “do all things through Christ who strengthens” us. He is the “Author and Perfecter of our faith” and He’s more than capable of winning every battle of flesh verses spirit in us throughout the day. For one day you will stand before His throne while the angels call out “Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord, God, Almighty” and oh so much your heart will beat to hear the words drip from His tongue, “Well done, good and faithful servant… enter into the joy of your Lord.”

“Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.” (Ephesians 3:20-21).

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Goodbye, Beloved

This morning marked a huge step out of babyhood for my dearest Abi Grace. This morning after breakfast (don’t mind our wild night time hair), we said goodbye to our beloved friend, Paci. We rounded up all the paci’s in and around Abi’s bed (the last remaining ones in the house since we weaned her back months ago from daytime paci use).

Rachael talked all about how big people don’t use pacifiers and proceeded to list off a list of all the people we know that don’t use pacifiers while we gathered up the friends.

Then we put them in a bag, Abi having a last suck of “the favorite” one.

And we paraded off to the closet where we stored them away. We purposefully put them into a closet that they are not stored in so we can recheck the closet in the moment of her distress and see that the paci’s are truly gone. (I already pocketed them and moved them while no one was looking). During their nap time today, I’ll take them down and thoroughly clean them before returning them to storage.

And while this morning she was smiling and saying “Bye, bye Paci. All gone Paci,”

I know that nap time and night time will come with grieving. So today we are putting on our sackcloth and ashes in memory of the dear friends and we will be grieving and providing many condolences throughout this process. Paci has been an emotional and trusted friend since Abi was only a week or so old. And today, at 21 months we have said our goodbyes.

After much thought I figured paci would be the best one to go first in the months of transition that lye ahead for dear Abi. Since Avocado will be joining us a few months post-Abi’s two year old birthday, getting rid of the pacifier, changing to the big bed and potty training possibilities are all around that time frame. Since I know there will be much transition in adding another burrito to our mix, starting a transition slightly early will allow for a more natural transition that is not fueled by the new baby. Due to how Abi grieves, saying goodbye to paci while still contained in her crib is a better strategic move than unleashing the wild in a run-around-the-room-availability bed. At this rate Abi will be long past paci (3 months) before moving to the “big girl” bed at 2 years old. Then we’ll see how potty training fits into the mix as is dictated by Abi’s desire and readiness. I’m in no push to move her from diapers until she is ready, but paci, on the other hand, is only serving an emotional purpose (no longer fulfilling the physical teething need) and that emotional attachment will only get stronger with time. Thus, paci has “moved out” and we will grieve his departing until the new normal kicks in. 

And yes, all you Moms out there, cry with me because my baby’s growing up. 😉

Well done, Abi baby, you are and will brave this adventure well. We’re here for you, Abi, in this transition.  And we’ll all be sure to nap together after the first potentially rough night. 😉

– Hopeful and Proud.

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Snail Mail Arrival

Well, after needing to return the cloth diapers we had recently borrowed from my sister in law, we invested in our own “full” set. Unfortunately with timing of needing to return them, I ended up anxiously awaiting our pocket diapers’ travel to the States from China, reminded nearly daily as I washed the dwindled stash we had remaining post returning my sister in law’s diapers.

So, needless to say, I was THRILLED when I was able to get these beauties in the mail and thus mark the end of my constant washing of cloth diapers. It’s so wonderful to be back into the routine of washing every 2-3 days and just grabbing a diaper without needing to track down pieces and assemble them from the dryer.

While the USPS failed my expectations on many accounts (long story), I was delighted when I could FINALLY pick up my “where it was supposed to be when it was supposed to be” package and get these lovelies washed and ready. Now while the package wasn’t exactly a beauty in itself (HA!)

 the contents were. =)

It was fun to “ooh” and “ahh” with the family as we enjoyed the diaper display post opening the package. We all identified our favorites, Abi’s being “diaper”, and then they were whisked away to the wash and boiling pot (I boil my inserts instead of washing for 10 times to get the max absorbency without the exhausting amount of time and effort). So without further delay, I give you…. our blessed new friends:

*** Not pictured are a second light blue with white polka dots and an all black with white snaps. These are not pictured due to either being in dispose or having been in dispose. 😉

I stuck with “gender neutrals” with only one specifically “girly” one (couldn’t resist) that can be used as a nighttime sleeping diaper should avocado be a boy. The white one in the first picture is clovers and an occasional darker green heart. I still think a boy can get away wearing this one since the clover leaves are shaped like hearts, but not overly girly. Rachael’s favorite was every other diaper I pulled out (she likes the flowers/red butterflies on green background, the animal shapes on creme background, the teddy bears, the stars, and the hearts). Matt’s favorite is the Teddy bear one, in which he stated I should have gotten more of those and let him pick some out too – my bad! And I like the hearts one, flowers/red butterflies, blue with white polka dots, blue circle outlines with green circle centers, the stars, the yellow/green diamonds on the blue background…. the teddy bears…. yeah, I picked them all out so I like them all. While this stash could be considered a bit boyish upon just looking at the blues, I steered clear of cars, soccer balls, etc, that tend to scream boy and steered clear of pinks and violets that were distinctly girl. To me, blues can go either way and I didn’t want out stash to just be ugly neutrals, one-colored or all green and yellow. So I think it’s quite cute. =) I may along the way add a few more diapers to our stash (only a few) especially once we find out avocado’s gender. But really, we don’t know what our family is going to look like in the future and I try not to be a pack-rat of “maybe we can use this in the future” items. So I am trying to keep our diaper stash usable and not too big (since washing past every 3 days starts to leave bad stains, can ruin your diapers due to oogies being left in there, and smells like a dead animal. All good reasons to have no more than 25-35 diapers in a stash. =D

[We do have 2 other pocket diapers not pictured that I got (1) or fixed from my sister in law and then got to keep (1) that are used for night diapers since they do not have hip snaps (best fit on Abi). They are white (1) and black/white diamonds (1). Then the remaining stash is 10 prefolds and 3 covers. That makes our total 24 diapers.]

So there you have it, the newest additions to our team. I couldn’t be more proud. =) They represent freedom from daily diaper washings. =D

FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, I promise I’m done……

….promise. hehe.

– Thanks for sharing in my joy.

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