Pushing Myself and Rising to the Challenge

Well, as I posted on facebook earlier this morning, I came across a family blog, Raising Olives, which talks, among other things, about homeschooling. I love the way the family uses the Word as a basis and a foundation of homeschooling, so of course my ears were perked at the posts. In reading the argument and finding a few new ideas, I have been doing some research over the past few days and putting some serious thought into homeschooling.

But no, worries, people this post will not be all about homeschooling. 😉 Don’t abandon me now, just hang with me a second.

It was from scrolling through the site a bit that I began to wonder the very question most homeschoolers of more than one child wonder – how the heck am I to balance it all and really teach each of my kids without neglecting the other.

While some curriculum is written as a wholistic study for the whole family- LOVE- there are the nitty gritty’s of individual grade requirements that still do not vanish. While we all could be participating in the history lesson, for example, a five year old processes the lesson on a much different level than a 3 year old and therefore has a different outcome expectation.

This is true with all life, but I’m not going to go there.

I started thinking about the dishes stacking up, the laundry taking over and the other repercussions of a full day of homeschooling and being 110% for each kid on our house and schedules. Then I came across the post on putting your family on a schedule. Does this sound so Type A Personality? So of course it perked my ears. 😉

The concept was to think about the things each family member (women, don’t schedule your husbands – not a good relationship helper) needs to get done during the day and would like to get done during the day. Then allot a time period for each thing, realistically, and think through the schedule requirements (ex. nap time, family time, breakfast time, dinner time). Hmmm. This sounded interesting.

So I started with me and made a list of the things I want/need to get done during the day. I came up with about 5 hours worth of stuff to get done between 6:30a and 4pm (when Matt gets home). That’s 5 hours worth of stuff to do in 9.5 hours of time. And why am I falling behind sometimes? Intentionality. So this week I’ve stopped making excuses and been intentional about my time. I’ve found that some days tasks take longer (reflects on Abi’s needy day and it’s repercussions on my workload) but most days I find I have less to do when I have done the workload from yesterday. And I’ve also come across this weird thing called…. clustered free time. What is that to a Mother, you ask? Freedom! I find if I work hard in the mornings that I feel accomplished and like a contribution to my family – let alone coming across this free time stuff. Huh! Who would have thought actually applying Proverbs 31 would get you such nice results? (Hits head).

Through this intentionality I realized I have strayed away from our adventure missions reading routine. When Abi was littler, I used to rock her to sleep in the rocking chair before Rachael and Abi’s nap times, thus allowing a good half hour of reading to the girls daily. As Abi has grown out of the rocking phase I struggled to find a good time to read to the girls beyond picture books. Missing my adventure mission novels, I struggled to put them in during random outside sandbox play and various other times, going for weeks without picking up the book and finding the need to keep renewing the book from the library. Well, sitting down and thinking about it earlier this week, I came up with this idea: post-lunch quiet table play = adventure missions reading audience.

Abi had made it a habit to play in her crib for at least 40 minutes post lunch after I put her to bed, thus keeping up Rachael as well. After 40 minutes, Abi would process lunch, need a diaper change and then go to bed. So, since we were all going to be up anyway, I came up with the idea of table play coupled with missions reading. And I am happy to report IT WORKS!!!

So each day after lunch the girls play quietly (as quietly as a three year old – you’d be impressed- and a 21 month old can play) while listening to me read two chapters. I’ve been impressed at the training opportunity to play quietly and contently by themselves for a half hour. The first day was a bit rough; puzzle pieces hitting the ground, Abi’s constant talking and constant reminders of the need for quiet (not silent) play, my peripheral vision becoming quite distracting while trying to keep solo play going. But the next day got better. And then better. And here we are on Friday, with minimal distractions and the majority of the 30 minutes of quiet play being just that…. quiet. I really am impressed with the girls!

It was about a year ago that I first heard of this idea from a homeschooling, missions-minded Mom of like a bajillion kids (8) who made a missions presentation at the Orphan Seminar that Matt and I attended. We were fresh into the “looking into adoption” group and thought a conference with Sara Groves (come on people) would be a nice “weekend away” for Matt and I to pray and think and pray about the whole prospect. While in the breakout session, the Mom handed practical ideas on how to incorporate missions into your family’s everyday life, many of which we have enjoyed catering to our family’s heart for missions. She mentioned while homeschooling her children (aged tiny to teenager) she had a specific reading time established daily in which everyone gathered in the living room and listened to her read various mission accounts for TWO HOURS!!! I was utterly shocked that her smallest of small kids would sit there and play quietly for such time (though she never once alluded to not having to stop for a break or two so I’m not sure if the two hours was in rapid succession or two or three chunks of time throughout the day). But still, I was impressed. And slightly bewildered.

“It takes training,” was my next thought.

Now while I feel in no way a need to compete or model our family missions love after the exact model of her household, clear expectation and realistic quiet play for busy hands has been such a blessing in my personal reading life, as I have mentioned above. And while at almost 2 and 3 years old they are only retaining handfuls of information (if anything at all some days), it is all in training for the priority, self-discipline and gradual worldview of God’s heart for the lost and dying world.

So as we continue to tweak parts of our schedule and I continue to evaluate and pray through my own contribution and service of my family through my daily schedule (which is subject to flexibility as always), we have seemed to find a good spot for adventure missions readings to be incorporated back into our daily lives. And for that alone in this revamping, I am VERY grateful. =)

***For those of you interested, we are currently reading Amy Carmichael in the Christian Heroes: Then and Now series written by husband and wife team Geoff and Janet Benge. We get borrow them for free from our local library and have enjoyed this husband/wife team’s creativity in taking the biographies of “the big missionaries” in the faith and writing them into a 6th grade friendly adventure novel charting that missionary’s life and work. I have learned so much and look forward to continuing to incorporate these 22 out of 38 novels available free form the library into our lives in the present and future. We’ve already read five of these novels and found great joy in their pages. I am seeing visions of book reports in my children’s future. They also have unit study books available for these novels.  😉

April 13th

Alivia,

Today would have been your birthday. Funny how Goga and I laughed about the fact that it was a Friday the 13th. I’m not superstitious. It was just another day.

Though we never got to hold you in our arms, I will never forget this day.

Alivia, I wish I could have seen your face, smiled at your little grunts… your soft skin… your beautiful eyes.
I wish I could have delighted in your tiny fingers… swaddled tightly your fragile arms until you felt safe and secure enough to drift off to sleep.

I still don’t know fully why we didn’t get to keep you. I know sin in our world finds it’s playground. I just wish it hadn’t brought about death. But you have met the Creator of Life, in one lost heartbeat you appeared at His throne. Fragile and naive of deep hurts, you found yourself with Jesus. He will care for you far better than we could.

Eleven weeks and three days in utero. We were going to announce you to all our friends, family, and the church at 12 weeks. You only had eleven weeks and three days in utero. The world may not count you as a baby, but there was no doubt in my mind. I saw your little hands. Those little feet. Your little heartbeat. Your closed eyes. Nothing can convince me that you were just some glob of tissue. No, my baby, you were so alive.

God can and has worked all things for the good of those who love Him. He has and will continue to use this for His glory, my dear Alivia. For your life pointed and continues to point directly to Jesus. Hope is found in His eyes. How amazing to think that one so small – only an inch or so big, could so clearly point to the Ruler of the World, without ever speaking a word or taking a breath.

Alivia, I missed you when my friend announced her pregnancy. I felt a little pinch of hurt. I missed you when I held my friend’s newest bundle of joy. I miss you when I look into your big sister Rachael and Abi’s eyes sometimes, catching that glimpse of utter joy I hoped to see in your eyes.

I miss that I will never get to hold you in my arms, or watch your character grow… your personality form… and discovery and mastery and accomplishment light your eyes. I miss that I will not get the privilege to call you mine and announce, “That’s my girl!” I miss that I will never get to delight in how you play with your sisters, running through the house with glee.

Alivia, Daddy and I used to joke that you had to have been a girl because “he only makes girls.” We laughed that he defied the “Stauffer” odds of having boys by having two girls in a row. We don’t even know for sure if you were a girl, but what we do know is that you had as good of a chance as any.

It took me a month before I spoke your name. The shock of it all is still so real sometimes. Daddy agreed shortly thereafter that it just fit right… Alivia. And of course Mommy had to spell it “a little funny” to fit in with the rest of the kids. Alivia. My precious.

We miss you. We love you. And you are not forgotten.

Some day we hope to see you, if we get the privilege. And if we don’t get the privilege, sweet girl, just know that there was a family down here that was just thrilled at the chance to love you and hold you, but Jesus made the best of the situation… as I am sure you are well aware. And we too hope to feel Him and know Him fully to be our faith’s sight someday.

Praise Him all the more up there, sweet Alivia.

He deserves it all.

– Your Mommy.

*** Written October 2011.

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