Wouldn’t it be nice if we all slept this solidly?
Sincerely,
one jealous Mommy.
😉
Wordless Wednesday: I Wish!
When the Answer is ‘No’
I’m not even sure where to start these swirling thoughts. It’s a lot to still take in.
I got a phone call a few months ago and we all celebrated quietly. We didn’t want to the news to slip out, but we were joyful at the life conceived after a hard run.
My dear sister in law had already lost three, two in a row and the most recent’s surgery still fresh on our minds. And then the news came. And we rejoiced quietly, so as not to announce anything before passing that first trimester window.
Things were trucking along, with understandable conversations of laying anxiety at Christ’s feet. For those of you whom have ever miscarried, you know that passing the last miscarriage date feels more secure… it’s like a deep breath can happen more freely.
And with the close of the first trimester, we were excited to see our prayers being answered favorably. Thanks be to the Giver of life who knits our very fragile selves together in the dark, quiet comforts of our Moms.
Then all at once she felt something was wrong. She told me of the multiple attempts from nurses and even the doctor to find little one’s heartbeat. I remembered that drop in the pit of my stomach when the same thing happened to me. She knew the baby was gone.
With another surgery scheduled, the healing phase begins again. Only this time with the hurt of having more children in heaven than here. We’re left with the ‘why’s to lay at His feet. And why four? The hurts. And the questions that we fight to keep from eating away at our sanity. Faith is not shaken, but hurt is inevitable. Loss. The grief season.
So what are you supposed to do when the answer is ‘no’?
Again.
You hug each other
and hold each other
you come over to distract
and bring dinner
You pass off the baby when she needs snuggle therapy
And keep the baby quiet when she needs to forget
You listen
and listen
and listen some more
You hurt with her hurts
And cry with her crying
And you laugh with her laughs
because life still has joy
You go for walks
and drives
and celebrate what He has given her
with an arm around her at what has been taken away
And you both stand in the hope of Christ
a Hope that heals the soul
a Hope that breathes peace into the mind
and calm into the depths of the pain
a Hope that offers Life
when death seems to surround us
He is that Hope
and that Perfect friend
And so you just pray Him over her
because He is everything she could ever need…
… to heal.
… and to thrive through this storm.
– Love her so.
– to God be the glory. Forever. And Ever.
Wordless Wednesday… err Thursday… my bad
With trucking jobs, we may not see them as often as we’d like to…
but they’ll always be Goga and Gopa. =)
– We love them. =)
Maybe…
Maybe it’s in pulling out the winter blankets for the girls’ beds.
Maybe it’s in realizing how much Rachael has learned in last year’s homeschooling as I flip through this year’s homeschooling outline.
Maybe it’s in the realization that Abi no longer fits pants I got out last month.
Maybe it’s in hearing her add “certainly” and “presumably” to her 3 year old vocabulary.
Maybe it’s in watching Hannah’s eyes now open daily and soaking in her world.
Maybe it’s in overhearing Abi use words, “it’s ridiculous!” instead of screaming every time she’s frustrated (evidence of growing self-control).
Maybe it’s in the realization that Rachael will be 4 years old in just a few months.
Maybe it’s in noticing Abi’s face elongating and planning for potty training in just a few weeks.
Maybe it’s in the realization that Hannah’s 5 weeks old already.
Maybe it’s in contemplating bunking the beds after Rachael’s birthday.
Maybe it’s in looking into the “new kid room” and wondering who will be joining us
… and when
… and feeling like it is so soon
… and that I need to redress the beds in there sooner than later.
Maybe it’s a combination of all these things, but today they all just feel so big… so old… so “growing like weeds”.
Rubbing my hand through Hannah’s soft red-tinted hair takes me back to Rachael’s newness
… like it was just yesterday.
And then I see her, Ms. Long-legs, dancing down the hallway with Abi squealing and chasing her. Free and so alive.
– In the blink of an eye…
– Snuggling a little extra today.
Wordless Wednesday: Cleaning Done Right
Daddy was away at a meeting Monday night so we took the opportunity to clean the table…. with shaving creme. =D
Yeah, we had fun and the table’s nice and clean. =)
Clowning Around
One Sunday after church I decided to use the leftover pancakes to bring a new tradition into our family from my childhood: the clown pancake. Now, when I was young the clown pancake was eaten only on special occasions at “Carousel” restaurant where my uncle worked. I remember the excitement of the clown pancake in all it’s sugary goodness and presentation and hoped to bring such joy to my children. So I introduced the clown pancake one Sunday for lunch:
Look how thrilled she was!!!
I promise it was a hit (just a 3 y/o picture moment).
I told her to say “clown pancakes!!!” We all giggled about the varied translations of that phrase.
Giddy.
And this one makes faces too. hehe.
So with the success of the clown pancake, I decided to repeat the affair the next day, but offer personalized decorating. I put on the whipped creme for the facial features and the girls decorated accordingly. This time I offered more fruit and made the rule that all the decorations needed to be consumed. No one complained. 😉
Still giddy.
Another face. hehe.
(sigh) My three year old and her personality. =)
Some ingredients never made it to the decorating part.
The extent of Abi’s decorating.
And the banana nose only lasted on the clown’s face for .5 seconds.
My little girl loves her some bananas!
Scary face, but proud of her decorating.
Thus has begun our tradition of clown pancakes to be brought out on fun family nights and as rewards for good behavior.
Mmmmmmmmm.