This Christmas I am overwhelmed as usual by my gratefulness for our little family. I am so blessed to delight in our three little girls and this holiday season has given me extra time to say extra thank you’s to God for His gracious gift of our children.
And as I have said my thank you’s and continue to do likewise, there is a small flicker of yearning that draws me to tears as I write this. A flicker of desire… for the little one or little ones God will bring into our family in the future that are currently enduring the hardships that will bring them into the system. They could already be in the system, trying to reunite with a family that cannot keep them for whatever reason. Or worse yet, my precious little one(s) could be enduring the very thing that will bring them to our home. My babies… my babies…
It’s the heart that God has been stitching in us all. It’s the heart of God that presses Rachael to say with full confidence, “we have empty beds, so let’s have kids come stay with us. And if they have Mommies and Daddies to go home to then they can go home later, but if not, we’ll ‘dopt them and they can have us for their family.”
It’s the heart of God that brings tears to my eyes and breaks my heart in the beauty of adoption and the process that’s on the horizon.
It’s not with naivety… it’s going to be really hard. It’s going to have unknown challenges and hurts and loss. It’s going to have unimaginable frustrations with the system and if we see them go home, while we’ll be advocating for their best, it’ll break our hearts to say goodbye. And it’s going to be amazing, delighting in the little steps forward and wrapping a little one in the love of Jesus that they never thought imaginable. It’s going to be like nothing we’ve ever done. Thankless and rewarding all in one. And everything about it will be right for us… because it’ll push us to see this world through God’s eyes as we walk beside the American orphan, even if just for a season.
So, sweet little one(s) out there this Christmas, know that you are on my mind. And amidst the excitement, picture-taking and delight of centering our day around acknowledging the coming of our Savior to this earth, know that my heart yearns for you.
We are waiting, sweet little one(s), and praying for you.