Freshly back from my high school 10 yr reunion mixed with thinking about the boys and their, what appears to be, approaching reunification. Then add in some furniture moving/reorganizing in the dining room/ homeschooling room to prep for Rachael starting Kindergarten (dies) this year in homeschool. Oh and my baby turning 1 soon. And then the shocking reality that the Haiti trip my husband was planning as his first international mission trip with the youth group fell through when the travel agent called back a week before departure to report that the tickets never transfered over between contract changes and there were no flights available. And now a possibility to go with the team on the post-poned trip. And the canceling of a trip to see my sister, which was another little hurt of reminder that I miss her. A. Lot. And her quirky little laugh. And regressing to elementary school sibling pokings. And her heart for Jesus. And just sitting back and watching her take the world head on.

And leaving my three if I do get to go to Haiti. And the fact that there may not be 5 by then. And what that means for our three. And the reunified two. Whatever their life will be like then. And the run-down whirl wind emotions of needing a break from the rollercoaster of foster care. Just 4 days of “away” with our “originals”. …

Good grief, people… this Mommy is swimming in emotion. … and hurt… and yet peace.

(Sigh) We’re all growing up…. so fast. Innocence preservation is only possible for some.

– Hard to walk in the footprints of an orphan.

– To God be the glory. In ALL of this.