Author: monstauffer

Survivor: Toddler Style

It started out as a great little adventure. The children had visited the playground, saw the farm animals and were beginning to settle in after their lunch. We were out with the cousins at a local park when we decided, “Sure, let’s walk a short trail before we head on home.”

The trail was littered with a few old carnival items, remnants of bliss hundreds of years ago. So with our plotted map of distractions, we set out.

I’d like to take a moment to list the items we left for our walk with because they will matter as the story goes on.

First of all, there were 7.5 of us going out on this adventure. Five children were age almost 5 down to Abi, 21 months. Then there was pregnant me, bell pepper baby and my sister in law, Ellen. Ellen and I have laughed about “mating season” because out of her three children, my two nephews are each 3 weeks older than Rachael and Abi. So that put pregnant me, bell pepper baby, Ellen, five years old, two three year olds and two a-few-month-shy-of-two one year olds. Ellen brought a single umbrella stroller for Josiah (her youngest) and two water bottles. I brought the diaper bag, two sippies and a water bottle, and our single running stroller (which I now love even more than the first day we were so graciously given it).

The walk began with a small melt-down via Rachael about her desire to hold the nap and the fact that we were getting close to nap time (sigh). But since the map’s course was only a little over a half hour, I still decided that an adventure rubbing up against nap time would be okay for today. Rachael came around in two minutes of boundary confirmation and we were good again.

They all started off with a bounce in their steps, excluding Abi and Josiah who rode contently in their strollers.

Shortly into the trip we noticed that the path colors and indicators were not quite matching up with where the map said we were. But the colors still matched where the map said we were headed, so we went on cheerfully.

We found our first wreckage find, the base frame of two old cable cars. Great excitement erupted form the group of “pretty easy to entertain” kids. And with a few cute pictures of smiling faces we marched on to our next discovery.

 A little ways up the road split with pink and orange branching off and purple and orange going on ahead. We stopped to check the posted map provided by the park at the fork. The sun had faded that map into uselessness. So out came Rachael’s map again and we came to the realization that we had been on the very part of the trail we were hoping to avoid. We then plotted “the best way back” route while still seeing a few more remnants along the way. Feeling confident in our ability to entertain and have a realistic walking distance for three small and seatless preschoolers, we went on to the orange and purple pathway.

Then a hill came – taking a lot of the wind from the children’s sails. We struggled to find a nearby stream, some purple flowers and a big hollow tree to distract them into their second wind.

We found the remnant of a push car at the top of our shaded forest trek in just the nick of time as the children were quickly losing the joy of the walk. Feet were getting heavy, nap time was upon us and the walk was turning into a bit more than desired or planned. Rachael asked to ride in the stroller, so I set her in the jogging stroller straddling the front fixed wheel, thankful for the wheel shield providing the security away from the entrapment of the rotating wheel. Abi was unfazed. But Ellen was in a different predicament, poor thing, with only one seat in the umbrella stroller and three kids wanting to ride. She did what any resourceful Mom does and stacked two in the seat while one walked.

We then hit a second fork in the road, at this point our adult joy was beginning to reach it’s peak. The path again split, this time both paths were labeled with the same colors. Back to the map – only this time it was a guessing game. Should we go left straight up the crazy big hill and risk taking an extra detour? Should we go right over the pretty-straight path and hope it was not a facade for the longer path. I chose right. My back and shoulders liked the idea of the non-hilled version. And I hoped I was right.

Shortly after we were faced with a second fork in the road with both paths marked with the same colors. This time the choice was made for us – one of the paths had a log across it and non of us desired to lift 5 kids, two strollers and ourselves over that log, no matter how do-able it could be. I was grateful later to have avoided the straight up-hill path and the log path because we later found out that they were connected to a loop and were the same path. Thanks, Lord, for sparing us.

At this point we looked at the map again and took a stab that going back would actually be further than going forward, though at this point forward appeared to be a bit more unknown.

We continued on.

Then the path started getting rocky with dried clumps of dirt that proved hard for an umbrella stroller loaded down with “completely done” kids. Rachael and Abi had abandoned their socks by then and resided to riding/balancing (dear Rachael) in the stroller for the rest of the trip. Abi started to get fussy since at this time it was PAST nap time (sweet), so I busted an extra park guide from the stroller tote and introduced it to her as a book. Her spirits instantly changed and she began reading the book aloud to us.

As time and heat and spirits decreased from the overall group, I started walking ahead of the group with my girls in hopes to shout back good news as we came across new signs. Hard thing was… we weren’t coming across new signs. We were just lost. On a trail. In the woods. With a map. And five nap-time kids. And draining water rations. …. hmmm.

There came a point in which we just had to suck it up – I mean what really are you going to do? We certainly weren’t camping there and stopping wasn’t helping. Ellen, poor thing, alternated from carrying Josiah on her hip and the two older kids riding in the stroller to all of them walking while she trudged over a rocky spot to two walking and one riding to two riding and one walking. You do what you can to keep the “obviously so done” herd moving.

There was hope when we hit the road and the map FINALLY lined up with the trail markers. Pep returned to our steps a bit when we saw the “small” stretch before us to the parking lot and our “so glad to see you” cars. Small felt long at times, with fatigue starting to set in for the whole group, but my girls began singing songs to their maps/park guides and I tried to stay ahead to call back signs of hope. Alas we hit the parking lot’s edge…. 45 minutes later than desired. That made the total trek to be an hour and a half.

I don’t even think we made it out of the parking lot before Abi was out cold – such hard work riding in a stroller. And the girls slept long and hard in their beds when we got home. Ellen’s kids perked up with a packet of crackers rationed out in the car. And our adventure ended with a hug and a “never again” smile.

I called Matt on our way ojt of the park and announced in my most desperately wild voice possible, “We were lost in the woods, baby…. LOST! (dramatic pause) but we found our way out… and no one needed a tourniquet…. or medical attention…. (dramatic labored breathing).” To which came the reply, “Ok, good, honey.. I’m glad to hear that… would you mind sharing more when I get home, I’m in staff meeting.” I snapped back, “Oh yeah, sure. No prob. Sorry to bug ya, babe.” “It’s okay. See ya in a few hours. Love you.” hehehe. My bad. =)

Honestly, despite getting lost in the woods… and the hills…. and the tired kids… and the shortage of water… I really enjoyed the afternoon. The walk was nice in many spots. And I’m proud of my girls for holding it together when we all knew there was nothing we could do to change the circumstances.

And I’d probably do the walk again… just not before nap… and not with limited water rations… and not without a double jogging stroller…. and a strong husband to trade off on pushing. 😉

Actually, I think our 2 mile walks recently have conditioned us all to enjoy the outdoors more, even if we have to exercise. They proved good training for today’s episode of survivor!

– I’ll sleep well tonight.

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Wordless Wednesday: Remembering Summer

It’s cold so today I’m remembering summer heat and fun. On Wordless Wednesdays for now on words will be less, but not completely cut out and pictures will be the primary blog entry. I thought this a fun way to share some of our pictures on a pretty regular basis – even if (in today’s post) they are from the mission trip LAST summer. [This is the most typing you will see ever in Wordless Wednesday posts, most will just be a word or two below a picture.]

“Mine.” 
(“Don’t mess”)

 Joys of a playful grandma.

Daddy. 
(Enough said.)
Independent adventure bliss.
Sunshine.
(Post ice cream.)

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Diamonds

So I had a friend email me asking the average cost of a child per month in her and her husband’s attempts to have her stay home for at least the first year of her daughter’s life.

It got me thinking about budgeting and things small tips I would include in a “ways to stay home and stay on budget to best benefit your family,” guide.

Since Matt and I have been perfecting this skill for over two years now, feel free to laugh at my newbee-ness to this whole concept. But there are certainly some seriously wonderful diamonds in the rough that I have found along the way.

Babies:

  1. Cloth diapering verses disposable diapering budgets
  2. Basic essentials – though I’d add a good baby carrier to the list, you know one of those ones that straps baby onto you so you can carry on with life and supply their need to be snuggled. And i never had a Bumbo seat, despite the hype, and my kids don’t have flat heads nor were they socially deprived. 😉
  3. Hit up those $15 for all-you-can-fit-in-a-bag sales that come in the Spring and Fall at Once Upon a Child. We fit almost $250 of clothes into a bag for $15 (onesies can roll up to smalled than a toothbrush size).
  4. Check out Kidz Again if there’s one in your area. They have clothes for kids up to 12 years old for cheaper than Once Upon a Child and even match together outfits for your “the baby is screaming and we have to leave the store right now” moments for as cheap as $2. Their toy selection is also wonderful (we found a $40 reading system and 2 $10 books for $8.50 all together).
  5. Check out the Thrift Stores (like Valley Thrift or Goodwill) and you’ll be surprised how “my kids don’t look like we shopped at the Thrift store” your kids will look wearing their second-hand name brand clothes. 
  6. Check out freebies for new moms and new-again moms offered through Similac (for those of you that are going formula for feeding) and other companies. Many of the companies will mail you a “sample” of their formula which is a regular sized container in hopes to hook you on their brand.
  7. Breastfeeding is free-er than formula (just saying) so give it a good shot if you can. =)
  8. Second-hand is a WONDERFUL addition to any child’s wardrobe, especially for play clothes.  

Budgets:

  1. Don’t be afraid to set up a budget of what you need, be serious, and then add on a little “play money”. 
  2. We have “allowance money” each month to spend on whatever we’d like and it makes budgeting our other funds realistic.
  3. Always include a date night fund – unless you ABSOLUTELY cannot. Even i it’s $5 for a movie once/month and then you have free date nights in between. But by setting aside a date night fund you are placing it as a priority to invest in your spouse. Free date nights can include walking around the mall, going to a local park, walking the neighborhood, a movie night in, etc. Be creative and just try to be “just us” to keep things sane. =)

Food:

  1. Happy Homemaker Cindy does the couponing and store ads work for you (compiling multiple sites and researching all the large grocery store chains weekly). She even has a section on her site with bulk cooking recipes and meal plans to help drive the cost of each meal down. She has practical and useful tips as well in grocery store management and budgeting well in the food category. (You will need access to a printer and paper to print specific coupons so count that and time into the cost of couponing.)
  2. Make a list – and force yourself to only buy what’s on the list (And don’t bring a pen in to write more things on the list while shopping – that’s cheating).
  3. Don’t grocery shop hungry or with a cranky baby if it can be avoided. Take the time needed to really weight the cost and do the math.
  4. If your name brand picky know what areas matter and what areas don’t. Ex. Toothpaste may be a “hill to die on” but applesauce may not matter. And some things really are better name branded because they last longer and are the one with the versatile features you really want.
  5. Set up a monthly meal plan and then only buy accordingly instead of buying weekly and having to run out and buy the extra sides you forgot. 
  6. Planning is most of the battle.
  7. Think about bulk cooking – it can save time on weeknights that you would otherwise be spending in a drive through line, wasting your money on overly-priced-but-nutritious foods, or cheap-in-nutrition-and-price foods.

Children:

  1. Seriously consider child labor – just kidding! Only testing to see if you’re still paying attention. 
  2. They don’t know the difference between name brand and non-name brand until they are exposed to the need for name branded toys and characters (usually television over other kids). If you promote a one-character only toy explosion you will find yourself replacing more toys when the fad is over and the child has moved on to something else. We have found great joy in our “built to last” generic toys while finding the balance of adding on a few specific characters only as the phase continues. For example, buying a child’s clothing line in Dora wear is only as helpful and frugal (if the character print shirt was indeed cheaper) as the phase is long.
  3. Some toy name brands are indeed better and worth looking for – but don’t settle for one store’s price. Look for the item on sale or better yet – at a garage sale or craigslist. Being willing to wait for the quality item to be in your price range will save hundreds over last minute “we have to have this tomorrow” buys. 
  4. Again, planning is most of the battle.

General Expenses:

  1. Creativity and resourcefulness are very helpful in keeping your cost of living down. Check out “how to” videos on youtube or google search to see if there are ways you can make or practically substitute household tasks/organization/products. I’m not talking about using tree bark only in substitution for soap, but I am saying there are many practical and cheap methods to fixing problems verses buying an expensive organizer or product. Ex. Concentrated lemon juice ($0.89 a bottle) and sunning on the laundry line helps get those “impossible to get out” stains from clothes instead of buying a new shirt or buying an expensive stain remover product. 
  2. Where there is a will, there’s a way. And there’s also a whole lot of people out there with good ideas on how to “cut the corners” of “must have” expenses without cutting on quality and end-product. 
  3. There are also a lot of really bad and “much more expensive” ideas out there too, so be sure to check out how other people are rating the idea before putting all your eggs in one basket. 
  4. The local library – a HUGE resource bank and financial friend with movies (not just the old or dumb ones), CD’s, audiotapes, and of course books. 
  5. Redbox your movies over expensive rentals. 
  6. Netflix is quite nice allowing an $8 a month subscription with many local kids show episodes (excluding Disney for the bottom line subscription), great documentaries, and all kinds of movies. Plus, no commercials means the kids are less encouraged to be “I need that” oriented.
  7. Bunny Ears (Rabbit Ears) on a TV allow for basic channels without paying to watch TV.
  8. Less TV = more activity and free outdoor play. (I’ve found monitoring TV also cuts down on whining and neediness due to encouraging creativity and self-entertainment, let alone the family perks of doing fun things together).
  9. Check out a local site for free/cheap entertainment. In our area, activedayton is a great site to research local events with price listings and kid-friendly vs. non-kid friendly listings.

Again, where there is a will there’s a way.

Seek budget-friendly advice, cheap and fun entertainment, and look at value of experiences and products for duration and durability and lasting memories. When you start weighing the value in things, it allows you to invest in those things with the most lasting joy for all family members.

It’s about being intentional with your budget to serve your family the best you can with thankfulness for all you have been given.

– Hope this was helpful in some way to you.

And please, please, do share your tid-bits of wisdom with me in the comments section. I always love learning new tricks of the trade. 😉

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A Dream

I had a dream last night, really it was this morning. And it left me woken earlier than usual. Many times pregnancy dreams are so crazy and so random. But this one stayed on the emotional side and less on the “Alice in Wonderland” type weirdness.

This one was about me returning to a high school reunion. Ironically those who returned were signing up for a weekend camp-like experience where we were to “get in touch with each other and ourselves.” This concept entertains me when taken into a secular cause like it was in my dream as if “getting to know ourselves better” (much selfishness) should be the focus of our world. It’s helpful to know those areas that you are prone to weakness for sure, but not that you would correct them or be able to make your own status strong, but that when you surrender yourself to Jesus you would especially rely on Him to guide you through those areas.

So in my dream we all sat in an old library. I looked around and saw a mixture of faces that I honestly haven’t thought about or remembered since high school and some that I have recently heard about via facebook. It was funny to feel the dynamics of high school again – the “who’s popular” and the “who’s labeled what in what crowds”. Petty… unrealistic… and surreal look at how society works in “the real world.” And it was funny, much how you slip into fulfilling a role in your family when you all get together, I felt myself feeling once again like a stranger in my own “hometown” like I did in high school.

I think, ironically, many of us felt like strangers and aliens and wallflowers in that awkward phase of adolescence. We could have played the “to be liked” card or the “fake confidence in myself” card or the “mostly assured in myself” card. But it’s funny to look back on how much of me grew so much deeper and more assured in my faith post high school. So much so that as I stood up to introduce myself, after all the popular people were asked first (recess team picking in more advanced terms), in my dream, I hardly knew where to start.

In our introductions we were asked to say a few things about ourselves and then pick a theme song for our lives. Only the popular people in the room were told in advance how the schedule would go so they were prepared. The first song that popped into my head was “In Christ Alone”

It was the only song that made most sense to me then and now at how to describe the overall theme of my life. Glad my subconscious didn’t pick some crazy disco tune or something. hehe. You never know what happens in dreams sometimes.

Then after announcing my theme song I was overwhelmed with how I could possibly explain who I was. A pastor’s wife… a lover of my Matt – my best friend… a Mom of two wonderful children, Rachael and Abi, and one on the way… blessed beyond measure… striving after Christ to apply the Word and live it daily (sometimes better than other times due to still needing much work, but pushing forward toward His prize)…. a homeschooling Mom who believes education begins with Jesus… a cloth diapering fool because I will go to no limits in serving my family the best I can give – even when it’s hard work sometimes… a boaster in Jesus… a broken vessel poured out on the mission field, whether it’s in my backyard or across the oceans… lost and found in Jesus….

How can I possibly summarize who I am and how I have changed from the self-centered, immature but well-meaning Christianity I displayed to you all in high school? It’s like the blinders have come off… the scales have fallen from my eyes and my heart has broken so in the compassion of our Father for the truly lost, dying and piteous world that so desperately needs laborers for the harvest.

And it’s my hearts cry, whether it be here or there or anywhere, to yell from the pit of my toes, laying it all out, “Here am I!!!! Pick me, Lord!!!” as He rallies His troops to send them in Christ’s Name. Oh that He counts me worthy… me?!… is beyond anything I can possibly express to you all…

And then I woke up.

– Grateful for the reminder.

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Open Eyes

It was something in the scrolling through the Bible School material, the constant planes, the play passports we were ordering for the kids, Daddy’s old passport Rachael has been playing with, Daddy’s new passport sitting on the counter, the missionaries and countless children on our missions wall, the adoption stories I have read and celebrated with as children from desperate situations in and out of the States have found their Jesus-loving forever families… something in it all brought a tear to my eyes.

This years VBS theme is “Amazing Adventures” and is airplane themed. Each year Matt, Mark and I tackle the sixth grade class. Usually by sixth grade VBS is no longer cool. The glamor and flare of VBS has become commonplace and the kids are coming because their parents are involved or their little siblings wanted to go. Matt, Mark and I try to take that opportunity to not focus on the cute- VBS, but instead we lean more on the side of “cooler” stuff. I have enjoyed the challenge of transforming a brightly-lit, plane Sunday school room into a basketball court in the Bronx, an outdoor Western Scene and various other “slightly on the edge” themes in VBS pasts. This year we’re going “world travel” in our theme, erring on the side of transforming the room into an airport hanger with country flags hanging. We’ve erred on the dog tag, military, and world travel side of the cute airplane theme, choosing our symbol to be a bomber.

While I am one to believe that the Word does not speak void or does not need dressed up to speak, it is nice to pray over and try to break down barriers and allow the kids to be comfortable in their uncomfortable skins.

But all the airplanes and passports and luggage and country flags carry so much more today than they have in the years past.

Monday we drop Matt off with his Daddy at the airport with hugs and kisses. He and his Dad are going on a preview trip to Haiti in preparation of planning next year’s first-ever youth mission trip out of the country. Matt’s vaccinations, malaria medicine, and travel preparations have filled our household conversations for a few weeks now. This will be Matt’s first trip out of the country and I am as certain as can be on this side of Heaven that it will not be his last.

Haiti has brought up so many conversations: adoption focus, world missions, our family’s involvement in world missions, local missions, potential 3 year missions stints with our family, short-term missions, bringing the gospel to unreached people, who constitutes as unreached people, and so many more topics. God has really been using the past few years to open our hearts and our minds to the reality of His hand around the World. Isn’t it funny how you can learn that God loves the whole world and God has the whole world in His hands, but as you allow God to breathe the Truth of that into your heart it’s like the blinders come off?

Matt surprised me this past Christmas with a future trip to Jos, Nigeria, to visit and see firsthand the community for which I have been praying. The community that is displayed on our missions wall through a few pictures. The community that we track the time of with our “Nigeria clock.” The children, the faces, the hearts…. needless to say it was overwhelming. I would never have anticipated seeing or meeting these people and have been content to just love them from across the ocean.

With God’s timing and the reality of vaccinations, this trip has been postponed to next year. (Yellow fever does not have a pregnancy equivalent and dying, I’m hoping, is not on the agenda). While my heart looks forward to and longs for the adventure to visit such dear friends and the Nigerian people, I am so excited at the prospect of seeing the fruit of Will and Theresa’s labor in the Lord as they begin to close out their 3 year mission stint, turning the work over to those that they have trained and invested in for three years: the Nigerians.

And then there’s the heart for the world that God is opening inside of me as He reveals His heart for mankind – no matter how sinful. I am blessed to be in the shelter of His hand, for His full heart for His people is beyond me to comprehend. But He is such a good God that He would even dare to open my eyes to His compassion.

Missions adventure readings have flooded our household. Conversations about the nations and God’s heart for the nations have saturated our dinner tables and family walks. Practical sacrifices and being useful to the Lord here and now has filled our planning in more ways than financial planning.

This all comes to mind upon thinking about passports, luggage and airplanes.

Something in it all brought a tear to my eyes.

It was the heart of God.

The heart of God.

– Thankful.

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Anticipating Everything BUT This…

A few days ago I posted our goodbye to a beloved friend. I wanted to update you all on the grieving process:

She appears to be over it. I’m not even sure if she needed a grieving process, honestly. She asked twice during nap the first day about her pacifier to which I told her “Paci’s all gone. Paci’s bye bye.” And she altered her affection to her blanket and singing seahorse (who were previously a needed trio and now a needed duo). At night time (day 1) she didn’t even mention it. The following day at nap time she asked about paci. I told her the same two lines I had recited the day before. She moved on. That night (day 2) – no issues. Yesterday (day 3) at nap she never mentioned the pacifier and yesterday at bed she asked one time with the same response to my answer.

Today (day 4) she didn’t mention it at nap time.

That’s it. My drama queen has been surprisingly undramatic about the whole process.

I had anticipated everything but this kind of a reaction.

Wow! That was easy! This ROCKS!

So it appears that the beloved friend is in the past with minimal eye batting and much moving forward.

As for blankey and seahorse? I couldn’t care less if she sleeps with them for the rest of her life. They won’t make her teeth rot out or delay her speech. And they are loved, snuggling friends who provide much comfort primarily at bedtime or on “waking up on the wrong side of the bed” mornings. Dude, we all need our comfort snuggling every once in a while. 😉

– Thanks, Jesus, for the evidence of her trusting that we’ll provide what she needs.

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