Accepting What Now?

I was reading Job yesterday. Chapter one: Job is introduced as a known, faithful, obedient and relentless follower of God. God offers Job to be tested by Satan. Job loses all his wealth, all his children are tragically killed, and his cattle are ransacked. Job’s wife is the sole survivor and when you meet her character in chapter 2 you may wonder why. Yet, Job still praises God. Chapter 2: God offers Job again and Job loses his health. Job’s wife “encourages” Job to just casually “curse God and die” – oh the picture of exhortation. Job’s response?

“Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?” (ch.3, v.10)

Can we say heart-piercing?

mmm. Yowza!

How easy it is to complain. Ask anyone and I’m sure they could come up with a laundry list of frustrations in their little world. Hello? Could someone help me carry mine? And amidst my complaining I read the words, “Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?”

ZING!

You know it’s been a challenge to decipher the truth amid the lies we are whispered daily, sometimes nearly every minute. We’re given the opportunity to follow truth to our Lord or follow lies to a desert-wandering path. And when we find ourselves out in left field, thanks to our apple-biting nature, we find the tumble weeds aren’t enough company to sustain (oh but we’re going to try first). And we need to prodigal it back to the Father with a list of apologies. But we have to first realize that the Father’s perceived “pig slop” would be better than the dust we stand in before we can find ourselves robed and at His welcome-home-party table.

You know, it’s so easy to get discouraged. Trials seem to constantly be hiring and for some reason we keep submitting our resumes, sometimes unknowingly.

Sometimes working out our salvation feels like a once-a-month shopping trip with the gimpy cart and a late-napping, fall-out expressing toddler. And it’s in those moments that I desperately beg and plead for the Father to remind me of His open-door policy because it’s so easy to feel like God’s a complaint box that never gets weeded through. But no matter how many times I get stage fright and feel overcome by the serpent’s whispering, I need to keep reminding myself that when that curtain comes down the only encore will belong to Jesus and Jesus ALONE!

– wrestling out this faith journey.

April 5, 2011 0

Raining and Thoughts

This weekend was a good one, even though it was a hard one. The reality of our dear brother in Christ, David Cowherd, really being gone is a mixed bag of emotions. While life “goes on” here on this side of heaven, we miss his smiling face. Continued prayers for Jeanie and family. The visitation is tonight and the funeral is tomorrow.

Yesterday was a quiet day and today feels like a repeat of yesterday.

I have found sometimes in my walk with Christ that there are high moments and then the valleys. Valleys can be brought on by many things. And it’s odd, but while in a valley you can still have joy in Christ. You’d think a valley would just be consumed with heaviness and darkness. But amidst the trials there is still unwavering hope – hope in faithful Jesus.

But there are still times that bring on silence, thoughts whirling in your head and times of just being and doing with little thoughts. Oh the value of a walk or a mundane task amid “quiet days.” There’s just been a lot of process lately. A lot to think on. A lot to surrender.

Abi’s smiling face today has been lovely. She has two little curls on the top of her head that appeared after bath time this morning. The two curls counteract each other resulting in both standing straight-up on her head in one Alfalfa sprout. It’s super cute to witness the both bobble as she crawls about with a smile devouring her face. Amazing the affects of a full belly and teething meds.

Rachael is having a cute moment as well, setting up a picnic for Abi – which Abi promptly mauls and then claps. Rachael seems only mildly affected by Abi’s inability to “play right.” It’s fun to have two, even when they clash at times. And it still amazes me how much that toddler just loves that little baby – right where she’s at.

Matt and I have been trying to eat healthy again. HA! Isn’t that the story of our lives. But Matt stumbled across a book called “Eat this, not that” and it’s been helpful in eating REALISTIC healthy things. Let’s be honest, people, we just don’t have the time or determination to spend a whole afternoon making one dinner. Maybe that’s part of the cooking/workout plan – burning the calories in the food prep. Regardless, we’re exploring the possibilities of eating more healthy things without breaking the bank or feeling the need to jump on the organic fad. Let’s just say the only “Go green” we do is to “Go Green, Go White” (Michigan State – oh how my hubby would be proud.) Don’t get me wrong, taking care of the planet is a good thing, I’m just not into the craze of walking on eggshells as if the planet’s going to explode tomorrow. Maybe I’m just broken, but I think the world is going to look like we lived here after we’re gone – cuz, you know, we lived here. And I’m probably wrong – I have been in the past and will be again- but I feel like a lot of the “Go Green” is just a new fad, like skinny jeans and mismatching clothes. (Feel free to throw your tomatoes now. hehe.)

We’ve been going to the gym 4 times per week – no they’re not giving out door prizes. The kids enjoy their little daycare play zone and Matt and I “enjoy” killing ourselves for the sake of health. It’s actually quite nice to relieve stress and work hard, even at the expense of sweat dripping down your back. The gym can be so selfish, like the one “nicely fit” mom who dropped off her very overweight preschooler with fruit roll-up in hand into the daycare and then proceeded to the tanning room to tan her sculpted self. But we believe that the gum can also be a statement to God that we want to keep His vessel healthy and ready to go wherever He leads. We may not be marathon ready, but we’ll try to be run-a-flight-of-stairs-without-dying ready.

Well I better get going, Rachael notified me that she needs a tissue (she wiped her nose on my shirt while snuggling. mmmm.) and Abi has begun her daily curtain attacking. It’s raining outside. Despite common opinion of the rain being a nuisance, I like it.

Hope you all are enjoying your day and have enjoyed your weekend.

April 4, 2011 0

Awaiting Snow White Mornings

So I feel like a kid waiting on Santa Clause today – only I know Santa doesn’t exist, but I’m still stoked! Today we get our new mattress. This may not sound too exciting to most, but to us it’s about as thrilling as it comes! We’ve been blessed with hand-me-down mattresses thus far into marriage and while those are wonderful in that we didn’t have to buy a mattress, we have experienced the wonder of “broken in” mattresses for too long. We’ve abandoned the idea of a springed mattress and have moved into the foam world. We viewed a sleep number bed, and bounced around on a tempur–pedic (WAY expensive and actually quite warm to sleep in as well) and breezed by the latex mattress world (new innovation, wonderfully comfortable, CRAZY expensive). So we found ourselves landing in the knock-off memory foam world. And let me tell you, that land in comfy and supportive. =)

So today, yes on April Fool’s Day, we will get our mattress delivered and thus bask in the hope of tomorrow being a Snow White morning – birds chirping, cute and furry animals rustling about outside, singing a little song… Well, maybe that’s asking too much, but no more back pain would be nice! =)

Anyway, that’s all my rambling for today. And when you come and visit us later… NO! YOU CAN’T JUMP ON OUR BED! hehehe.

Have a great day, all!

April 1, 2011 0

Memories

I ran across an old Client’s mother today. I was suddenly back in my old office – funny how memories work. Back came that previously-familiar awkward balance of confidentiality and still trying to be personable. It blew my mind to reminisce on my Rachael being 11 months old when I first came home to be a stay-at-home mom. Abi was still a hopeful idea as we knew little about her, but her strong kicks. That feeling of being on the brink of a world-flipping and yet still trying to keep your job and life in line. The hours of caring for others’ children in therapy and group therapy sessions while wishing to just get the privilege of only taking care of my own. Oh the days of having a split heart – one desire to help others while that ache of someone else caring for my responsibility – my baby. And my client’s sweet, smiling face. So funny the memories of encouraging my client’s and client’s family’s pursuit of Christ, while trying not to lose my job in the secular world. It all came flooding back in that odd moment when the past met the present for a few minutes.
I was reminded that life is so short and so worth priority changes.

A dear member of our church suddenly passed away in a tragic plane crash yesterday. Matt had the hard job of accompaning Pastor out of the newly widow’s house to share the news and help the widow call her children. In one instance an always-willing Bible teacher, father of three girls, husband of 51 years, and fellow runner after Jesus went to meet Christ face to face. Like Pastor said last night to his awaiting Bible Study class, “His faith became sight.” It still feels surreal to me. I expect to see him on Sunday, him passing his Christ-honoring encouragement out to all he encounters. I still expect to see him in the church hallway, sharing about the utter joy he has for a new thing God taught him during his quiet time in the Word. We’re all a bit shaken up. David Cowherd will be missed so much. And yet something in the back of my mind makes me smile, a sad hurt smile, but a deep smile nonetheless that after countless years of pouring himself over the Word, soaking in all that the Word projects about Jesus, and spending countless amount of time in conversation with others -seeking Jesus in all ways, our dear brother, David’s face must have been a sight to see when he opened his eyes and saw… Jesus!…

Today just feels like a quiet day. A day of thanks for how far God has brought me, but also just a day to struggle to find words. A day to close my eyes and find silence. So many lessons He brings to mind. So many unanswered questions. And yet such hope that He has set before us.

Life can be so short. How will we be remembered? What difference will we make? What Kingdom work will we do?

That more would be left than our possessions.

That Christ would be lifted higher.

– A crown to lay at His feet. –

March 31, 2011 0

Outside

The spurts of beautiful weather stampedes my little clan outdoors. Oh how we long for the fresh air, wind in our hair, and freedom to RUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNN!!!

So here’s a taste of our adventures outdoors.