So we received our home assessor information in the mail (our caseworker) from the county. YAY! And so we’re hoping to call her in Tuesday to get clearance to start our adoption trainings on Tuesday and Thursday of next week (Matt goes to camp the following week so we want to double them up for this upcoming week). Just one more piece of the puzzle completed. =)
In and Out
Our application came in the mail today. We filled it in and sent it back out the mail today – we were ready peeps, we were ready. Now we’ll see what God does with a little obedience and a lot of prayer.
And in the meantime, I’ve moved a desk, begun organizing the hallway closet, moved 2 dressers, tried to tackle the “I’m living on the guest bedroom all summer” laundry, organized my craft stuff, opened the guest bedroom closet, screamed and shut the closet, and begun planning a little bedroom remodeling for our whenever-God-chooses family member.
Seriously, friends, I’m loving life right now.
God is good!
Preparations Begin
We had finished a book about George Muller, having read of his adventures for nearly a week and a half of nap times. I’m not sure how much Rachael reaped from the book, but my harvest was great. I would encourage any and all to get their hands on a good George Muller reading. It could change the way you view prayer and obedience.
Orientation is still fresh on our breath, Matt and I sat through the first three hours of our adventure toward adoption. We have direction and a fresh perspective on God’s potential time frame of this step. We learned that the licensure process takes about 6 months, with 36 hours of classes (now only 33 for us) and various inspections for our homestudy. The next step is the application. We’re expecting it in the mail shortly and then we will complete it and return it to then be assigned our caseworker within two weeks. At the completion of our caseworker assignment we may proceed with classes, inspections and ultimately receive our license in 6 months. After the license is complete we are then cleared to receive referral calls at any time. Once we receive a referral call we get the blessing of praying about that child and hearing from God if that’s our next family member. So in lamen’s terms, we could hear of our next family member in a minimum of six months. Let’s put that in the close terms that it is – that’s as early as Rachael’s 3 year old birthday. Now, God’s timing is a different story. We’ll find out what His timing is. But there are 70 children in the system waiting for homes. And our job is to be ready.
So getting ready we are: piece by piece we’re putting together/cleaning out our “guest bedroom” to be our next family member’s bedroom. Since we don’t know the age of the child or the gender until the referral call we’ll be setting up our extra crib and twin bed for the time being. And our job is pretty clear: complete the application/licensure, have the room set and vacant, pray, trust, and wait. God will supply the child. God will orchestrate the timing. We are just to prepare the field and ask for the harvest.
To God be the Glory!
Changed
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lt_WpluguwE]
Sara Groves wrote this song after returning from a trip to Rwanda. For those of you who are not aware, Rwanda has a history of a mass genocide in 1994 in which approximately 800,000 people (approx. 20% of the country’s population) were killed from the country’s internal turmoils (longstanding ethnic competitions and tension between the minority, Tutsi, and majority, Hutu, people). Many women and children were among the victims that lay heaped in large dump sites. But this song was written after Sara Groves witness the Christians within Rwanda’s dedication and efforts to rebuild the communities in Rwanda. These weren’t foreigners coming in to “save someone from themselves”, but Rwandan Christians’ response to the tragedy within their country.
This song has a powerful message that resonates beyond the realms of this country’s tragedy. I can’t get the words of this song out of my head. As God has been changing me I have realized how much of a challenge poverty has placed on me. My obedience to God’s call has so little to do with being unable to financially afford compassion and everything to do with my fears. There are a vast gamut of fears that have in turn kept me from extending the hands of Christ. It’s so easy to get lost in the fears, some very real, of selling yourself out for Christ’s work. And yet Sara Groves speaks the Holy Spirit’s call on our hearts in the truth of God’s love through this song. The line, “Your courage asks me what I’m afraid of and what I know of love. And what I know of God,” burns into me.
What do I know of God? What do I know of love? Me, with Jesus Christ inside me. Me, with hope and promise breeding within me. See, it’s not enough just to get fat on Scripture. It’s not enough to merely be served by Christianity. My belief in love and my belief in God is proved in how far I will extend myself for God. Sometimes it’s easy to see taking one step of faith as enough for a few months. There, God, I extended myself for Your glory, now let me be for a while. But God doesn’t work that way. We can’t manipulate Him like that.
You know, it’s so easy to make excuses as to why serving Christ in the U.S. is so difficult and time consuming and hard. “I just can’t seem to fit it into my schedule,” being a mind-comfort for disobedience. Maybe we can even hide under the “but I’m taking care of this family that you have given me” excuse. Been there, done that. But Christians are so safe here in our country. Our biggest fear is of offending someone, not losing our life for God’s work. And yet we still have our moments, and sometimes months or years, of bench-sitting.
I have been praying to be used for the Kingdom, not just to raise my family to think about God before meals. And it’s a challenge to be changed and grown and matured and pushed by God. It’s hard to explain the heart of God to those that don’t seem to be growing or changing or moving in the same direction as myself. Certainly condemnation is not to be handed out from my lips for obvious moments of apathy among friends. (Sure glad no one did that to me.) That’s not my job. But it’s really an uncomfortable place to be in to feel compelled by God amongst comfortable-with-where-we-are people. It must be what it’s like to be a missionary coming back to the States for presentations. How can I possibly sum up God’s heart in a pretty package of pictures that will motivate others to reckless abandonment for God’s glory? It’s like that conversation where the other person in nodding their head and yet you know they’ve already checked out. (How many times have I done that?)
I don’t know how to describe it. I don’t know how to motivate others’ hearts. I don’t think that’s my job. And yet I feel compelled to not be silent. I can’t contain this kind of change into a pretty package. I am having a hard enough time rectifying how I have lived the way I have in the past, let alone encouraging others to give more of themselves for the Gospel. This IS the Gospel – giving of ourselves for the glory of God.
It is changing.
molding.
remodeling.
and cleaning out the old junk that doesn’t belong here.
Because there’s only room for Jesus thoughts that spur obedience.
I must decrease. He must increase.
“Something on the road, cut me to the soul. Your pain has changed me, your dreams inspire. Your face a memory, your hope a fire. Your courage asks me what I’m afraid of and what I know of Love. And what I know of God.”
Unharnessed.
You know, God is changing my heart. It’s so hard to put into words. But suddenly some of the things I have valued seem to feel earthly and temporary. Stuff feels like stuff more. And Kingdom works are consuming my mind. I find myself consumed by the burdens, the hope and the promise of an all-sustaining God who provides every need.
It’s in the face of the poor’s needs that I question how I define need. It’s in the way missionaries live that I question what I feel I deserve. It’s in the heart of the gospel that I question my drive and my motive. It’s in the blessing of our culture that I question my standard of success. It’s in your face, Lidia, in your eyes, Tofic, that I am challenged to live a life of surrender and obedience. Where am I looking for Jesus today? Have I missed His life all around me?
Lidia and Tofic, you are normal kids – sinning, smiling, trying to figure out life. And I still marvel in the mystery that by me just admitting you exist and you have needs and obeying, my heart is drawn to Jesus.
You know, I truly believe that our faith is a journey, peeks and valleys, rough roads and smoother ones. And yet I also wonder how much of us is supposed to waver and how much of us are we to allow to be consumed by our culture’s hierarchy. No hippy rebellion here, just trying to live with a healthy Godly worldview. Tired of shutting my eyes in so many ways and yet finding the hope in opened eyes, despite the desperate need of the world.
It’s funny how God’s call to discipleship doesn’t necessarily mean leaving all behind will take us beyond the realms of our neighborhood physically. Though casting the net aside and following Him is still the devotion desired and required, God is opening me to the reality of being a missionary in my home. He can touch the world from our front doorstep. Oh what He has and will continue to do with a surrendered life.
I wonder how I’ve missed it in the past – been so caught up in me. It’s like the blinders have come off and the sight has returned. Jesus is so much bigger than we give Him credit. Jesus is so much bigger in this world than we see from North America. I’ve prayed for missionaries in the past, but they still felt across the seas. Today they feel like next door neighbors. And I ring their doorbells when I hit my knees in the morning.
I find myself hurting for their hurts. I find myself crying over the poor’s loss. I find myself inspired and desiring to be more obedient through the stories of the faithful and the God-exalting. Devotion stirs devotion. God’s Word seems voidless. And all that changed is my morning routine. Who would have thought that a morning routine change would make Africa feel so close? He’s changing me.
Oh the power we Christians have harnessed closely in prayer. Not the cheap brush-off kind of Prayer. I’m talking “I believe You can accomplish this” prayer. The power to hit our knees for more than a never-ending sick list. When prayer becomes more than a mode of gossip. When prayer becomes more than a “church thing”. When you start talking to your Best Friend in the mornings (and at night, and at noon.. and …) about your desire to add one more to His Kingdom. “Please, Jesus, even just this one more…”
Justice seems to matter more. Patience seems to be attainable. Prayer becomes a strategy in battle. Neighbors spread across oceans. Your heart breaks for injustice and overflows in accomplishment and joy. Love becomes more than enough if it’s done in Jesus’ Name. And discipleship feels natural when Jesus consumes your thoughts.
I don’t know if my face is glowing. I don’t really care if I scare some by the fact that I have seen God. All I know is, I don’t ever want to be the same. I don’t ever want to go back. I’m no less filthy than before, I’m just more repentant. And all I know is I want today to be a little more obedient than yesterday. That’s a starting point at least.
My heart breaks for those who have yet to see – truly see – the heart of God. Oh, Jesus… you know my prayers. Open us up, Jesus. Please, Jesus, that You would be more and more and that obedience would be our worship.
– changing.
As the days go on…
So this is what happens when you are sick: the world goes on and you are on the catch-up. After a week and a half of oogies, I think our brood is finally on the rebound. Abi missed the bugs – thank goodness, for that kid whined enough busting in her two top teeth to drive anyone to the edge. Good thing I was drugged numb (kidding). But poor Matt received sick wrath – FOR ONE DAY- while Rachael and I are still on the up rise from our suffering woes (cue the violins). If I could just vacuum suction out all the mucus (viewer rating tanks). ANYWAY.
So life is happening all around us. It feels like years since we’ve been outside and in the meantime some kind of huge deep red flower popped up in our backyard planter box. Perty cool, people. Perty cool.
Dakota has found herself a new home – it was her or Abi so alas, we opted to keep our daughter over the dog. But Dakota is and will continue to be well missed for a while yet. And, as with any family pet whom you have invested in and incorporated into your world, our love goes with her. Saturday was a sad drive to Indianapolis, but it is good to know that while the breed-specific shelter finds her a home her life is not in threat.
So with that change has come some decluttering (or simplifying, eh Jess) of our home as well. I’ve put up a clothes line in the backyard in efforts to thoroughly brand myself a “woman of another decade”. No really, I just think drying blankets and sheets, etc on the line as well as those “we can’t seem to get the stain out of them” whites is beneficial.
Only in picking up Material World from the library and thumbing through it a bit yesterday I’ve come to realize that clothes lines are more common than we “stuck in America’s movement” people may have imagined. Talk about a book to readjust your worldview, people. The book goes about the globe and selects homes around the world to do a homestudy upon. They take a picture of all the material goods a family possesses after moving them to the front lawn or such location near their home. Then the book compares similar needs, like toilets, food, etc cross-culturally. Amazing to think of how little some can live on compared to how much we may convince ourselves that we need.
And thus, we’ve also been thinking and praying and hoping and talking about our efforts toward adoption. Matt and I enjoyed date night conversation walking kidless around the mall (loathe summer heat). It’s so wonderful to get us-time to talk about what all we have been praying about and hoping regarding our family’s future. I HIGHLY recommend date nights with your husband/wife. Crucial in any marriage to be on the same page.
So alas, that has been our life lately. And next week we’ll celebrate Abi’s first birthday (falls over dead). How quickly the time flies!
But alas, I must get going, it has been requested that I come read to the children while they soak the bathmat with bath time bliss.
Hope you are fairing well.