Category: being a mom

Who’s control is in Control?

You know, I just wanted to take a moment to bring up the interesting conversation/battle of birth control into the topic ring.

I have many times heard the birth control method argued by Christians to be “responsible” and “enabling you to control when you have a kid to best care for the child.” I have also heard the conservative approach, and even “excessively” conservative approach argued that “we’ll take whatever the Lord gives us.”

I find this conversation interesting in terms of the Duggar’s new announcement that they are pregnant with their 20th child. So many feel challenged by that information and often throw in their two cents of, “those people are ridiculous” judgement. I could easily find myself in that camp when my kids are obnoxious. I could also find myself in the “test of faith” camp wondering how many other feminist thoughts we are going to try to justify by the Word because the thought of not controlling our family feels uncomfortable and we want to feel justified with our level of control.

Matt and I have had this conversation many times and probably will continue to have this conversation as we continue to surrender our family to the Lord. I agree with him that birth control, whether it be abstaining during your ovulation cycle or a non-abort-effasive method, in many instances can be very responsible. I think it can also be very wrong. I think it boils down to the heart, which is what the Word seems to bring me back to.

Am I saying, “no, I don’t want You plan over my own,” to the very one I call Lord? Am I saying, “it’s not convenient,” and viewing children as the “burden” that first began the feminist movement of birth control? Is my heart in line with what God says about kids? Is my mind with Christ’s on valuing and delighting in children? And does not being on birth control really mean that I’m going to end up with 30 kids? What about Hannah? Or those in the Bible that were barren? Or those in the Bible that only had a handful of kids?

Or am I using my “faith” in God’s plan as a cop-out? Am I being irresponsible in ignoring the things we so clearly know about women’s bodies and how and when contraception is at it’s most harvest-filled time? Am I being selfish in wanting a particular number of kids and controlling in being non-controlling?

The battle is in the heart. And the surrender, on either side of the argument, is in the heart. But what I do know is that God calls us to self-sacrifice. His Will in exchange for our will. And His Will stretches us and is not comfortable because it defies our fleshly nature. His Will challenges and grows us. And while we can still be Christians and still be controlling, I just know one thing… the Judge looks at the heart to determine who is and who is not sacrificing in worship and evidence of their faith.

Paul states it this way in the Word, that all things are permissible for us, but not all things are good (or beneficial). It is important to weigh out the consequences of either side of this “birth control” argument and surrender our families fully to the Lord. For He even said, “Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say?” (Luke 6:46).

We need to be certain His motives are ours in all things, the make-up of our family included.

– to God be the Glory.

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Our Joy and Pride

No one prepares to be blown away… otherwise they’d hang onto something.

Homeschool has been trucking along with this Mommy creating random letter-focused practice sheets for Rachael to do and coming up with various other curriculum ideas and Rachael just going along for the ride. It’s been fun to be creative and watch Rachael’s discovery and pride in her accomplishments.

We have been slowly working on Rachael’s letters in her name each week. Repetition, repetition, repetition in tracing the individual letter per week, recognizing each capital letter in books and amongst other letters, and learning shapes, colors, and numbers along the way. I’ve been very goal-focused in targeting Rachael’s weaknesses (fine motor control) while blending them into her strengths (identifying shapes, colors and numbers). We’ve had our frustrating days (sigh) and our moments of victories. And then came today’s in which I found myself blown away.

We were sitting down to the normal homeschool with an audience of Abi and Rachael’s newest “goes with her everywhere” stuffed animal. We were working on squares today, Rachael showing off her advancements in fine motor skills over the past 3 weeks of focus and I decided to try it out… Rachael has learned the letters R, A and C (we’re working our way through her name – other letters didn’t really sick). Thus far we have only been tracing them because her fine motor skills are *ahem* “age appropriate”. This is not a problem, but I do like to challenge her. So I decided to try it out… NO DOTTED LINES….

And man did she blow me out of the water writing the letters she knows…

It’s so cool to see her advancements and her increased focus and hear her ecstatic laughter as she masters a skill for the first time.

– love homeschooling.

Some pictures of her work over the past 3 weeks:

Week 1: “R”

Week 2: “A”
Week 3: “C”
We had done other homeschooling prior to this, it was pretty light and didn’t focus on writing at all. Then we took a break from it for a while (helpful of homeschool) after I started getting my feet wet so I could reorganize and so life could happen. And then we started into a more “let’s get ready for our real written preschool curriculum for the winter” process which I have charted above.
But anyway, thanks for celebrating with us on Rachael’s great successes!

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"…Going to Training"

My two year old told my one year old in the middle of her afternoon play, “You watch my babies and I’ll go to training and be back soon.”

Can you tell we’ve been doing our foster/adoptive training for a good while now.

And alas, I finished my last class tonight. Funny how 36 hours can feel like a lifetime.

The final class brings a relief and yet a bit of fear too. You see, God told us to get our license. So we have. We’ve tried to be good kids. But as we finish this process up, it’s kind of like standing on a cliff after climbing the hill in obedience. It’s not a fear of someone pushing you off, God has more love than that. But it sure gives you a thrill at God’s prospect of saying, “Jump… trust me…”

It’s like that moment at the top of a roller-coaster hill when you have that split second somewhere between, “This was a good idea, right?!” and “BRING IT!!!” It’s that healthy wondering of what the horizon will reveal.

So much change has happened to our family over the past 6 months, from no longer watching Lexi to temporarily watching Kevin, to God adjusting our plans multiple times and reminding us that He is more than capable of using any situation to grow and change our family, to babysitting Mom’s cats and then ending up adding one of the cats to our crew, to getting into the swing of homeschool and delighting in Rachael soaring in her learning. We just never know what’s on the horizon. And it’s so exciting not to have the “this will be out of God’s control” fear that comes from a lack of faith, but instead to have a butterflied feeling of excitement and anticipation for what we have yet to see.

It’s like holding your breath and trusting that God will instruct you when to breathe before it’s too late – even if it gets a bit uncomfortable at times. He knows what He is doing. And He sure is moving.

Matt still has a class to go in 3 weeks and then our collective training classes will be complete. We have our list of things still left to get done before getting the final stamp of approval from the county before sending the application to the State for a completed license. But with all that being said, our application/license should be complete around Christmas. Christmas, people!!!! That may feel a bit far away when you look at Halloween and Thanksgiving coming up first, but when you think about the fact that i have started Christmas shopping/looking….. eeeeeek, people!!!! That’s in a blink of an eye.

God is so good to us. God has blessed us so. And I’m feeling like a little kid in a toy store as this adoption process is becoming more of a reality. Whooooo! Stand back and check out what God will do…!!!!!

We’ll be standing beside you, checking it all out and applauding His Greatness,

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Fall Festival

We went today to a fall festival at a local park that is only 15 minutes from my house and yet I didn’t know existed. Yes, Yes, I know… submit commentary here about how adventurous I am. =) Each year we try to go to a fall festival or pumpkin patch with “the cousins” (Aunt Ellen, Uncle Ron, Bekah, John-John and Josiah). It’s a fun time to make memories together.

The little Fall Festival was free to the public – right in our price range – and had all kinds of family-fun activities from pony rides to a goat petting zoo (don’t pet the one that was head-butting the kids — for serious. lol.), and a pumpkin decorating area with free pumpkins, oh and also a playground and a barrel-seat train ride pulled behind a tractor (Rachael bowed out) and a large wagon hayride (we all bowed out). Wonderful few hours of fun and smiles. Poor Rachael was still recovering from her 102 degree fever the day before, so her regular energy level was not completely back during the adventure. But a good stroller ride, blanket snuggle and a snack helped her rejoin the fun without over-extending the poor kid. And Abi had her first pony ride.

And thus I share pictures…. you know, because I’m a shameless Mom of two cute kids. =D

 Our Cowgirl -always wanting to ride the ponies.
 Her first pony ride. Look at that pacifier smile! (yep, we’re still teething hard.)
 YAY!
 Picking out a good one. (The wind in her hair).
 So little.
 She wanted to carry her own pumpkin.
So Daddy was helping her be as big as she felt in that moment. =)
 All the kiddos.
 Pumpkin decorating.
 Rachael’s finished product. – bear with her she was starting to feel poorly.
[see her poor flushed face.. =( It was nearing time for a break. ]
 She came back to life, after a break, with full character in the leaf fight.
 hehehe. So much fun had by all.
 Aunt Ellen boosting her up for a view of the cows and donkey.
 Happily Daddy’s sidekick.
 Sister Snuggles.
 A family shot. – Rachael’s done for the day.
(Oh look! I was there too!)
 One last wind-in-her-face smile before we loaded up and called it a day.
Wonderful trip. Wonderful company. Wonderful day.
Thanks again, Ellen, Ron and Co. for another great year of fall tradition.
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Blessed

I am so blessed by these little faces.

 hehe. Look at Abi-baby cheesin’ it!
 Oh no… here it comes….
 TICKLE-MONSTER!!!!!
AHHH!!! Second TICKLE-MONSTER!!!!

My cast of characters make my world.
They’re such little best friends. =)

Thanks, God!

Goodmorning everyone. 

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Look at that girl… She’s happy.

I got a World Vision magazine in the mail today. Funny how excited my heart gets to see those two words, “World Vision”. World Vision means more than a humanitarian effort. World Vision is how we have met Lydia and Tofic. World Vision is like a family connection.

This magazine wasn’t like a normal one. Instead of selling gifts and household clutter, this magazine opened up a new window of Christmas – spirited opportunities.

A few days ago, maybe it was yesterday, I took my quiet nap-time allotment to count coins. Yes, I know machines can do that. Yes, I know those little paper wrappers don’t carry any alluring factors. But this counting had purpose.

I emptied the contents of our missions jar on the table. We’ve been just adding our spare change to the collection for a number of months now. And as I started counting and wrapping I wondered how awesome of an experience it would be to sit around with our Sunday School class, or a group of friends, and do just that… count and wrap coins for missions work. I began to sing praise songs – interjecting numerals in there as I got closer to the brinks of my personal math skills. =)

I was pleasantly surprised by the amounts that laid before me some 45 minute or an hour later after shelling and counting and handling what felt like a small amount of coins. Funny how God shows up. I wondered what these would be used for. I wondered why God had put it on our hearts to collect this money. When we set the goal to save the coins and then find a place to donate the money once the jar was filled the day felt so far away. And while the jar is not filled yet, I felt the need to count and wrap up the coins.

Then today the magazine came. World Vision. I love those words. I flipped open the pages and looked at all the pictures with my toddlers today at lunch. Daddy’s at seminary all day today, so in many ways the house has felt unusually quiet – even though he’s always at work during most of the daytime anyway. But at lunch he usually joins us and he was missed today – as he is every Tuesday.

“Look at that boy!” my little talker interjected. “What’s that?”

“A goat.”

“Why?” the famous and expected response.

“Because some Mommies and Daddies live in places where it is hard to grow food or where there isn’t enough food. You know how you tell me you’re hungry and I can just open the fridge and make you lunch? Some families can’t do that. Some families don’t have enough food. So Daddy and you and me and Abi have been putting away our money in the missions jar. Remember putting coins in the jar? And we are saving the extra blessings God has given us to help feed other families. One way we can help feed other families is by sending them a goat. You know how we drink milk? And cows make milk? Goats make milk too. And so a goat would help a family drink milk.”

She smiled. “Look at that girl…. She’s happy!”

That’s exactly right, little girl. Exactly right.

Funny how tears well up in your eyes sometimes when you know in your heart that something is right. When you know in your heart that you are right where God has planted you… and you are doing your best to grow.

I wiped away a few tears as Rachael looked over the magazine with fascination and continued to comment on all the little boys and girls’ faces. Abi kept referring to each animal we saw as “meow”s and after Rachael corrected Abi’s labeling we talked about how each of the different animals could help families.

The goal is not just to send an animal. The goal is to serve the least of these with a worshipful heart. They may come to the Lord, who knows, maybe not having to worry about their food source will allow their minds to think more of Jesus. But all I know is that Jesus said very plainly that when you do unto the least of these you do unto Me.

We just want to do unto Jesus more and more each day.

– to the least of these for now and forever more.

— if you are interested in helping yourself: www.worldvisiongifts.com
Check it out.

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