Returning

Matt and I went away for a few days this past week – just the two of us. Our little girls stayed at Grandma and Grandpa’s house with a slumber party at a dear friend’s house for one night while Mommy and Daddy got away.
We ventured a whole whopping hour away – not really going a far distance, but certainly traveling a far emotional distance. It was the longest I had ever left our youngest, who will be 2 in June. Honestly, it’s not my distrust for people or my insecurity in leaving her (though in some moments I surely was more concerned about her than our brave three year old), but it was just that with two young children the opportunity hardly ever presents itself to leave them for more than a date night away. They are work, that we know, and yet they’re also the norm for us.
Matt thought it a good time to get away and have a few days to ourselves to celebrate our 5 year anniversary early, since late-August (our anniversary) I am going to be “great with child” and since the second trimester of pregnancy seems to carry less symptoms and more coasting. So we left our home in wonderful care of our cats and a friend and fellow past and current youth group members to “check in on”.
When our tomtom started inventing roads we knew we were getting close to our destination, breaking away from civilization into the farmlands of the nearby country. A large rock marking the gravel road to the property only seemed fitting. Twisting through the woods at 5 miles an hour we broke into a clearing of 71 acres of beautiful land. Four ponds, trees and shade, wooded paths, and a two story manor house welcomed us to our new home for a few days. Luxury breathed deep through beautiful wooden floors, large four-posted beds, various sitting/quiet rooms, a dining room that could easily hold twelve with care, large decks with patio furniture, a basement with ping-pong and a pool table, and three separate and private rooms with bathtub, sitting area and King-sized beds. Hopsitality and luxury breathed from the place. And we drank deep.
The wooded paths welcomed conversations, the bench-swings overlooking the ponds brought dreaming and reflecting, the downstairs couch and “movie theater” area delighted laughter that found us smothering ourselves in it’s cushions and streaming tears. Away with your best friend is more than wonderful. More than delightful.
There was also work to be done, times of homeschool planning (I’m now 3 weeks ahead!), VBS material studying, and recipe reviewing/tagging. We wanted to use our time to relax, but also to get a leg up on a few lingering projects and take advantage of the uninterrupted time (a true luxury for us both).
And then the trip away took the turn most trips take – no, not to the fighting or the bickering, but to the “ready to go home” phase. We looked around us at all the place had to offer and both said, “we miss our girls…. our home…” You know, I think time away is a wonderful thing, a break in the normal routine, a time to reconnect and set time apart for each other. But I can honestly say that I think Matt and I do a good job of that on a pretty regular basis. We didn’t come into this weekend not knowing each other, having neglected each other at home. Quite the contrary, we do make a very serious effort to remain best friends amidst the normal (though we all have busy weeks here and there). With the girls’ schedule, we have a lot of time to be “just us” in the evenings (2+ hours at least 3 nights a week). We treasure that time, whether it’s in watching a show together or working alongside each other in a united goal to homeschool our kids or serve the church, or whether it’s laundry or just melting into the couch together. That being said, we came to the time away with no agenda or past scars to fix, but instead with the same priorities to listen and share and love as we have at home.
And we both agreed on the car ride to our time away and we’ve agreed before that we really like our life. We love where we are right now – me at home, homeschooling, wonderful kids, the church, the house (even with her repair needs), devotions, the youth group, our families, even seminary in it’s demanding moments… we’re both just really satisfied. Really happy. Really blessed.
When you go into a time away with that heart, you find it completely acceptable to cut the trip one “night sleep” (as we describe it to Rachael) early and scoop up your kids early because you just want to snuggle them and be around them again. You find it fitting to spend some of the last day reminiscing about your own bed, those annoying meows of the “feed me” cats, the diaper laundry and other laundry awaiting you, the graduation parties and celebrations coming over the next few days that you want to be ready for… the home that you have left and love so dearly.
Sure our household has it’s flaws and it’s frustrations, last time I checked none of us are perfect. But it’s ours. It’s us. Those little voices over the baby monitor, the urgency of the morning cat feeding, the hallway light flickering from a bad wiring, the dishes piling in the sink, the smelling of socks to verify clenliness, the rocking of the over-packed washer… it’s all us. And it’s loved.
So after a wonderful time away, we returned to the delight of our normal…. and we’re grateful.
– Blessed.

Our Vacation

  1. Laughing until tears came to our eyes and we buried our faces in the couch.
  2. Quiet swinging on the wooden bench-swing while overlooking the gentle water’s ripples and listening to God’s orchestra of birds.
  3. Getting stuck on logs, going in circles and “back petal, back petal” in “we’re going to have to go to couples counseling after this” paddle boat laughter.
  4. Just sitting beside you, cuddled up on the couch with bowl of popcorn in hand to watch an uninterrupted movie in the middle of the afternoon.
  5. Dreaming about the delights of the days after our family adds in Hannah Joy – the challenges that we will overcome and the wonderful delights of a new snuggler.
  6. Just together… just us… and drinking it in. 
    (sigh) …vacation…

Christmas on May 11th

I heard the doorbell ring while I was sitting at the computer researching local pick-your-own farms. My ears perked up… could it be? I had just heard air breaks…. Could it be?!

I half-danced to the doorway as I saw the joyful brown tail end of the truck through the front window’s open blinds. It could be… it could be.

A smile spread across my face as I saw the small package sitting on my doorstep, the delivery man having returned to his truck with a wave.

MY PACKAGE!!!!!

Christmas had come on May 11th when it was scheduled to come on May 12th.

I swiped up that package and headed for the kitchen pear knife in the knife-block. (Am I the only one that uses those things to open boxes?)  The seams cut easily and joy filled my heart at the sight of the bubble wrap (a promise of pop-ability later). There it sat, my organic coconut oil – a hope of three year old eczema and toddler diaper rash surrendering control.

So what did I do?

I knew she was still awake in that crib, fighting the occasional nap time stubbornness. I plucked that child right out of the crib, pasted her fanny and tucked her right back in. And the already asleep three year old? One side of her cheek was dusted. =D

People… it was CHRISTMAS!!!! hehe.

– Hopeful for future results. =)

*** When you fight sensitive skin needs any hope of relief is such a welcome helper, especially when watching your kids suffer. That AND… clearly I am easily amused. 😉

Wordless Wednesdays: Close

 Close:
it’s their default. 
– blessed so.
*** I had to post this edition of the Wordless Wednesday late due to these pictures be taken in a batch of Birthday pictures given to Matt on his Birthday Thursday. I didn’t want to spoil the surprise. Thanks for your patience. 😉

Nipping Bad Habits

In evaluating the household (important thing to do periodically), I’ve come to the realization that we have fallen into a few bad habits.  Abi – screaming/crying/tantrumming more when things don’t go her way. Rachael – being quite bossy in play.  And me – not being more involved in discipleship. On the outside these are very normal things. Moms get tired, three year olds get bossy in an effort for “independence” and directing “more advanced role play”, and nearly two year olds become overcome with emotions and, thus, begin tantrumming. But could you imagine what we would be like if Jesus decided to stop discipling because “we were just acting normally” and thus left us to our own demise? Not a pretty picture.

So I was thinking of practical ways to nip these few bad habits in the butt, or at least try our best to work toward great self-control.

So for me – it means intentionality, greater listening and more calm responses.
Rachael – practicing hospitality and greater problem-solving in including Abi in play and interpreting Abi’s wants/needs.
Abi – using words to express her wants/needs and compromising.

And how do Rachael and Abi advance those skills? You got it, Mommy’s modeling (you didn’t know I was a model in my spare time did you?).

This may sound like technical mumbo-jumbo but the reality is that I need to show my children how to play, respect each other, and, in turn, love each other “right where they are.” This should be an intentional thing because, just like anyone, we all struggle with our sin nature that says, “MINE!”, “DO THIS!”, and “GO AWAY!” No one needed to teach me selfishness and I sure haven’t needed to teach my kids either. But the way I model respect and love in our household is their foundation for all their interactions outside of the home.

Please hear me clearly that I am not expecting perfection. Abi and Rachael have yet to give their lives to Christ, and therefore cannot live out the full hospitality, love and grace that the Holy Spirit within us fosters.But me, on the other hand, being in Christ, that’s a different story. I may be the voice of reason here for a good long while (and I think I should be) but I also desire for Rachael and Abi to have a clear picture of what treating other’s like “in Jesus” or “while thinking about Jesus” should look like as opposed to thinking only of self. Since primarily morality is a parent’s discipleship tool as we wait and pray for the Scriptures to stir up within our kids, it’s important to make clearly defined expectations. It goes beyond not wanting our kids to be fools in public (not the point), but it’s figuring out the reality of living with and truly enjoying the lifestyle of your kids. Putting up with behaviors only goes so far in a hands-off approach. Children never grow into moral maturity on their own. Heck, adults don’t even grow into moral maturity on their own. We need constant examples, grace and someone to come alongside us to love us into self-control in Christ.

We still will have our off days and off moments of “please, you just go play over there by yourself and you way over there by yourself.” But I have been encouraged by the small progresses just a morning’s worth of intentional training has produced: Rachael asking Abi with a please to play certain ways and respecting her “no” and alternative way of play despite not wanting to, Abi using more words quickly after her initial 2 second explosion or not even exploding twice, and me really focusing on discipleship and showing my kids more of Jesus in grace and practical love.

It sounds like simple things, and it is! But sometimes the simplest things are the hardest to build a consistent self-control when you look at the big picture of where you wish you could be. Step by step, situation by situation… I’m reminded of our encouragement to never grow tired of doing good (2 Timothy 3:13) and our responsibility as parents to train our children in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6). Training takes time, extra effort, modeling and grace.

God teaches me best through open eyes to His example of parenting me. And I am so blessed that He lovingly, quietly and gently sits down beside me, guiding me into the way I should better treat  and teach others.  Teaching hospitality and kindness breeds hospitality and kindness in myself.

– Learning with my kids.

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