The Battle

We have been going through a spiritual battle lately. Ironically, returning to Mozambique to continue on with the Lord’s work, after having testified to God’s handiwork in the States, has resulted in some new waves of spiritual warfare for our family. (Go figure, right?) How the Deceiver loves to capitalize on our weaknesses. And while I am still a baby in the world of spiritual warfare, Matt and I are finding a renewed bracing on the Word of God itself.

We are too weak to fight. We are but broken people. But our Lord? Oh our LORD has ALL the victory. And we are learning to guild ourselves better with the Word of God. To arm ourselves better in His very armor. Taking Him at His Word. And using the Word to fight our battles. Literally taking His Word to the conflicts, praying His Words back to Him, meditating on His Words, journaling His Words and singing His Words. He is our defense. He is our everything. The Rock of our salvation will not be moved!

Lord, lead us into this battle, we are willing.

This song has become a theme song in my heart lately as I fall before Him.

He WILL win the battle. HIS is the victory.

Oh God Who makes the mountains melt, come wrestle us and win!

Lord of Hosts, You’re with us. With us in the fire. With us as a shelter. With us in the storm. You will lead us, through the fiercest battle. Oh where else could we go but with the Lord of Hosts!

Selah.

January 3, 2021 2

Pushing Through the Antinome

“Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” – Philippians 4:11-13 (NASB)

You know sometimes I want the finality of it all. I want to arrive at the “I have learned” conclusion before putting in the time. I forget that for Paul to have spoken with such confidence that he is not speaking from want, he must have experienced speaking from want before. I forget that for him to state, through the Holy Spirit’s inspiration, that he has learned to be content, he must have known the antinome too.

It hit me as I ran beside my daughter. We were approaching her second-wind breaking point – that tension before her next burst of endurance. I had studied her face for the past half mile as the tension slowly built and I knew the challenge she was feeling. I remembered, all too well, the tension and pressure on your lungs, and that little stitch in your side that feels like it may swell to being unbearable. I remembered, all too well, how far your distance goal feels in that moment and how your mind lays out compelling evidence to stop.

(A curve along our normal running route.)

“This is your moment,” I told her. “You want the joy of the finish line, then it comes during this push right here. Once you get past this push, the finish line distance becomes a reality.”

Distress wiped from her face. Determination set in her eyebrows. She clenched her teeth, organized her steps and set her gaze. She would win this race. This race in her mind. And she did- even commenting afterward that she still had more left to give.

(The sun peeking over the trees in an early morning run.)

I want the “I have learned” so many times without the sacrifice to get there. I want the finish line without the work put in day after day to train up to my goal. I want the “I have arrived” without the stretch marks that prove that I can never go back to looking the same, evidence of having worked through that tension. Paul can’t say he knows how to get along if he didn’t wrestle through the “humble means”, “hunger” and “suffering need”. Oh, but I want to dance in the “prosperity”, “being filled” and “abundance” and just forget that the antinome exists.

But here when He calls me yet again to wrestle in the tension, here where He opens the door for reminders of sacrifices, here where I’m broken wide into the messy, here before the “I have learned”- this is where He has brought me. And here I can continue to chip away at each piece of the grand thesis statement. Here I can add another layer to the “I have learned” argument. And here I find that “I have learned” is indeed a lifestyle. Because His Strength has always been extended to me in my time of weakness.

Thanks be to God. He has always stood ready.

Distress is wiping from my face. Determination is setting in my eyebrows. I am clenching my teeth, organizing my steps and setting my gaze. I will win this race. In Christ, I will win this race in my mind.

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” – Romans 12:2 (NASB)

“Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.” – 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 (NASB)

September 30, 2019 0

My Revival (in the ICU)

These are the songs that I listened to on repeat in the ICU. I cranked these truths high, sometimes playing them for the nursing staff so Matt and I could listen together during those quieter NG tube visit (it was really hard to talk) days.

These particular songs brought tears to my eyes as I let their truths sink in.

I can’t tell you how many times I listened to this song on repeat and just let the truths of God’s Word soak in. Sometimes it felt really dark and I wondered when I would make forward progress steps, so I would just repeat the chorus: “You are my revival. Jesus on You, I’ll wait. I’ll lean on Your promise. You will renew my strength.” I repeated it again and again in my head when I couldn’t even speak that truth around the NG tube. I repeated it when the hours seemed to stand still and even move backward. And my heart cried it out with Lauren Daigle with tears streaming. “You ARE my revival! Jesus on You, I’ll wait!!! I’ll lean on Your promise! You WILL renew my strength!” And sure enough, I found my rest in His Everlasting Name.

He took all that was wrong and made it right. Sometimes I had to repeat that truth in my head when things weren’t going that great. I will stand my ground where Hope can be found!

Though I must confess that my favorite time to hear these songs, bringing tears to my eyes, was their playing in the car ride home from the hospital on January 4th. There was no more beautiful sound than hearing my children sing along to the truths God had breathed so deeply into my heart throughout the previous 11 days.

So if you happen to see Lauren Daigle ;), tell her thanks for being used of God to encourage me through my long hours in the ICU.

And since I was kind of stuck there for a while in the ICU/hospital, I used my time to pray this over our people group and two that God has laid on my heart for months that I am desperately praying come back to the Lord.

I’m still crying out to those dry bones and dead hearts to come alive in the Name of Jesus Christ, whether I’m in Mozambique, in the US, or even in the ICU in South Africa. I will not stop calling out for the Holy Spirit to draw these precious souls out of the ashes into Life in Jesus Christ. Let us see an army rise in the beautiful name of Jesus!!!

January 12, 2019 0

At the Furnace

A passage has been brought to mind recently, emboldening Matt and I in the face of a very challenging visa situation that I am not at liberty to share details about publicly. But as Matt and I fast and pray over all the results of this and call upon our Lord, who is more than capable to display His power and glory in this situation, the passage has constantly been put on my mind.

Here three men stand in a country that is not their own, facing changed laws and a power display. Their words pierce me as they stand at the furnace with the confidence of God alone as they speak out,

O Neduchadnezzar, we do not need to give you an answer concerning this matter. If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire; and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image you have set up. – Daniel 3:16-18

When they spoke those words they did not know how God was going to move. They did not know the end of the story. So many times when we tell the tale we immediately jump to the conclusion, but we forget that those words were spoken while facing immediate death. There wasn’t a record to refer to to see how the story would turn out. It was happening right then.

I wonder if it felt as out of control as this has felt. As unpredictable. As defeating, in moments. How critical the timing of it all. How pressing and unimaginably hopeless in worldly standards.

So Monday, we covet your prayers, as we stand at the furnace – no not the literal one. God has yet to call us to stand at a literal furnace and we’re hopeful He will not, BUT we are willing to stand on His character alone no matter where He asks us to stand. He is all we can stand on. He will fight the battle for us, but even if He does not fight in the way we would like, His will get His glory from this situation. Be assured. Just as He reaped His glory in the situation with King Nebuchadnezzer at that furnace, He will receive all the glory here in this situation. We have no doubt about that.

We have exhausted all we, weak people, can do. We have done all He has asked us to do. And now we will stand back and watch Him move and applaud the lesson He is teaching all our hearts as we watch Him move. Those who believed Him to be true standing around that furnace alongside of those who did not yet claim His Great Name, all waiting to see how He would show up and what He would do.

We’re asking for His words to speak to the king. He goes before us and behind us and with us.

We covet your prayers that Monday we will stand at the furnace well on His behalf and that we will, through His strength alone, receive His response, even if it is “but even if He does not”.

We are willingly weak vessles.

Be glorified, Lord God. Be glorified!

Come, Lord, and receive Your Glory in all this.

October 6, 2018 3

Immeasurably More

We sat at the table the other night and the girls brought up the topic of Heaven. It stemmed out of a conversation about the meaning of the word “paradise”. And after cleaning up some six year old confusion about Paris vs. Paradise, one of the girls mentioned Christ’s words to the broken sinner on the cross. “Today, you will be with me in Paradise.” He said in response to the man’s belief.

Paradise.

“What will Heaven be like?” the questions arose with great curiosity.

“No one really knows beyond the Bible’s description of it being immeasurably more than anything good we could imagine.”

“No more tears,” Hannah piped in.

“Lots of food!” Came Abi’s response through her mouthful.

And then it hit me like a ton of bricks.

“Can you imagine what it will be like for some people here?”

Rachael caught my eyes.

“They will go from a life of disease, surrounded by death, no electricity, no running water, fighting for hope amongst abandonment and challenge and desperation STRAIGHT to the banquet feast of our Lord.”

A tingle went through my body.

I saw the light on Rachael’s face as we both had very real pictures flash through our minds.

Suddenly, I thought about the homeless man out on the main street a half-block over. He never makes eye contact, is always surrounded by cardboard and trying to make fire. His loins barely covered by a shredded rag. I don’t know how long he’s lived there. I don’t even know how he’s still alive.

I thought about the sea of chronic medical problems people live with here, from huge goiters to elephant legs and open sores. I thought about the tiny, emaciated bodies that fill the public schools and the swollen preschool bellies and pencil-thin arms. I thought about the reading group girls who come in a capulana (thin, colorful yard of fabric) tied over a naked body underneath. This is all they own. That very well may be all they’ll ever own.

Can you even imagine, church?! Can you even imagine their faces when they’re given new robes? When those emaciated hands reach out in a new flesh for the banquet meal? Can you even imagine when the homeless man receives his house? Can you even imagine when the chronic ill step foot into Heaven and feel for the first time a land where those is no more death, no more disease and no more tears?!

Oh church, can you even imagine?!!!!!

Brother’s, my hearts desire and prayer to God for them is that they may be saved… For ‘everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.’

How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent?

–Romans 10:1, 13-15

May this truth permeate our very souls and open our eyes to His work laid before us. Oh the immeasurable value in all mankind that He would stoop down from the High places and rescue us into His arms.

Oh church, can you even imagine……

April 10, 2017 2

Sweeter than Honey

The heavens declare the glory of God;

the skies proclaim the work of His hands.

Day after day they pour forth speech;

night after night they display knowledge.

There is no speech or language

where their voice is not heard.

Their voice goes out into all the earth,

their words to the ends of the world.

In the heavens He has pitched a tent for the sun,

which is like a bridegroom coming forth from his pavilion,

like a champion rejoicing to run his course.

It rises at one end of the heavens and makes its circuit to the other;

nothing is hidden from its heat.

The law of the Lord is perfect,

reviving the soul.

The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy,

making wise the simple.

The precepts of the Lord are right,

giving joy to the heart.

The commands of the Lord are radiant,

giving light to the eyes.

The fear of the Lord is pure,

enduring forever.

The ordinances of the Lord are sure and altogether righteous.

They are more precious than gold,

than much pure gold;

they are sweeter than honey,

than honey from the comb.

By them is your servant warned;

in keeping them is great reward.

Who can discern his errors?

Forgive my hidden faults.

Keep your servant from willful sins;

may they not rule over me.

Then will I be blameless,

innocent of great transgression.

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight,

O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

-Psalm 19

“Your call will take you to the mission field.

But it is only your daily walk with God that will keep you there.” -E.S.

April 4, 2017 0