I was listening to an audio reading of Genesis while I was folding clothes this morning. The children were playing together while the littlest napped, permitting me full attention to give to the listening amid the monotony of laundry.
And it hit my ears.
“Who told you that you were naked?” The narrator read with a tinge of desperation in his voice.
And through those words God reminded my heart of his desperation for mankind.
Sermons can and have been written on God’s compassion, willing Adam and Eve to confess their forbidden fruit sin. The Omniscient God did not need them to verbalize their sin. He already knew the question’s answer. But He gave them the opportunity to feel the relief of confession. The relief of releasing some of the guilt. Not adding salt to the wound by telling the truth.
But in that voice lies a deeper level. A deeper heartbreak chosen to be shouldered by the Ever-Loving Father. The disaster of the fall’s consequences had begun. And even though I wasn’t there, I think this audio Bible’s narrator got the tone just perfect. His desperation. His heartbreak for the newly lost mankind looking back at Him through the eyes of Adam and Eve. Never again to frolic in the garden together. Never again to share in closeness as before.
No, God doesn’t need us, dear friends. But here in His voice in This Genesis verse His heart pours out. He wants us.
Thank you, Lord, for still wanting us… even in the heat of our rebellion.
“Blessed” somehow fails to describe the depth of Your gift of adoption.
– Please, Lord, keep teaching my heart to listen to Your Voice.
I had the opportunity to go with my husband to chaperone youth winter camp this year. This really was a treat since with so many little ones in our home currently (and in the past) I am usually the default in running the routine (that I have been privileged to invent). But this time since our crew was old enough, I got to spend the time with the youth girls.
While at camp we heard this worship song from the camp band.
“Your Kingdom Reigns” by Meredith Andrews
And I must tell you, I just love the Truth in this song.
My favorite is verse 2:
“By Your blood You have paid every debt
You are strong to save us
And by Your Word you will light every step
You are ever faithful!
Jesus, You are every faithful!”
Let’s take a moment to think through that. EVERY debt paid. That’s some serious strength! And while He never had to save us and it still utterly floors me that Christ would choose to save me… ME … without first even having a single utterance of commitment. See, He saved everyone that we would even have a chance to choose to receive His gift. And let me tell you what… I don’t think we can look at the depth of that grace in His gift and not be compelled to run to Him.
He could have just given us our consequence. The one we rightfully deserved.
Rachael and I had a conversation yesterday in the car. She was asking me to explain a familiar Scripture memory song playing from our CD. She’d heard it a bunch of times, even reciting the words along with it, that she finally began applying her mind to it. (What a life truth right there in itself – no wonder I need to repeat Scripture until it becomes more natural in my life!). We got to the topic of Christ’s sacrifice on the cross being a gift. “Let’s think about it this way… when Hannah does something wrong she receives a bad consequence, right? Like for example if she’s a bit older and hits another kid in the nursery. She gets a bad consequence. They may hit her back, she may have to go to time out, she may have lost a friend because they don’t want to be around her anymore… or if she was just told not to hit and she did it in defiance, maybe she gets a spanking after having a conversation about her disobedience.”
“So what if every time Hannah did something wrong instead of spanking her, we spanked you? Hannah hits someone, so you get a spanking. Hannah hits someone again, so you get the spanking again. Think that’s fair?”
“No!!!” Resounded from the back seat with a slight nervous giggle.
“Well Jesus said, ‘I’ll take the spanking!’ He decided to take the bad consequence. She deserved her own punishment. She made the bad choices. But Jesus took the spanking. He chose to. No one told Him to. No one made Him. He volunteered, or chose willingly to be spanked so Hannah wouldn’t have to be spanked. See, someone had to be spanked. The bad was done. The sin was done. The Bible says that the punishment for sin is death. Jesus took the death for us. But it wasn’t just that… Jesus took the death BEFORE Hannah ever even decided she wanted to be like Jesus. He chose the death to allow Hannah to have a choice to live like Jesus or to choose not to.”
“Wow.” There was silence as she pondered.
Wow, my heart agreed.
Our conversation ended there because we got to our destination and things moved forward. And while I’m sure I butchered explaining the depth of grace in so many ways, I just prayed…. again… for her acceptance of that grace. And I just prayed again for Him to continue to open my eyes to that very same grace.
I mean could you even imagine if we saw that Grace clearly? If we, Christians, took on a lifestyle of boldness from that Grace?
We’ve been praying for laborers to be sent to the Harvest, starting with our own household. We’ve been praying for reaping of the seeds planted by so many missionaries. We’ve been praying to be a part of the Kingdom work. To be open. To be alert. To see the work so we can run to the Harvest. It has changed our prayer life. I feel it changing my heart. Conforming my mind to the Lord. Less of me, more of Christ. That even one more would be added to His number…. that even one more would receive Grace…
Oh how His heart in me has reminded me in this song of the unbriddled power of God falling on His lost people if we would just go with such CONFIDENCE and ASSURANCE in the Truth of the Light. He WILL light our EVERY step. He does not send us alone. He does not send us empty-handed. He went behind us with the cross and goes before us with His Word to light our steps, to guide us. He will NEVER fail us. He will NEVER forsake us! He will NOT be shaken! If we would just take up His Word as our flashlight, guiding our steps to the lost, the lonely, the desolate and stand on HIM, not us… HIM, the Rock we stand on!
Take Him at His Word, church. Take Him at His Word, Christian. And non-Christian, see… oh please see how He is beyond Worthy to be taken at His Word.
His Kingdom Reigns. Not a corrupt kingdom. Not a corrupt, selfish king.
THE King who extended such incredible Grace. Such immeasurable Love like we have never seen before. Like we can’t even fully fathom…
So here’s our little secret that we’ve waited to share until we graced out of the first trimester. This is healthy, happy and squirmy Lil Baby 4 who is due to join our company mid-July 2014. We’re excited and thankful for this new delight and look forward to sharing baby’s kicks and movements together until we get to meet him or her on the outside. I am currently in my first week of my second trimester and am thankful for the hope and privilege of soon parenting another precious one.
P.S. Now you know one of the reasons behind my quiet blogging lately. I’ve been SLEEEEEEEEPING. This whole participating in building a human is exhausting work! 😉
For those of you who know me personally and have noticed the “Christmas weight” I was putting on (man how my body was starting to give it away), I appreciate you allowing us the privacy of telling you when the time was best. We have chosen this privacy since Matt, being an assistant pastor, tends to put us more in the spotlight than others. Miscarriage is always a possibility, but some parts of pregnancy hold a higher chance of miscarriage than others. So we have made it our goal to wait out the largest miscarriage window (12+ weeks) in order not only to allow for grieving, should it need to occur, to begin as a private affair, but also since we don’t want to make the decision for your family on whether or not you need to discuss miscarriage with your children. See, if we shared early on in the pregnancy and happened to miscarry, it’d force you to have to explain miscarriage to your own little ones who may not be ready or mature enough to understand that reality yet. So thank you again for making the excuses to your kids, for those that needed to, and diverting the questions to allow us the privacy and the respect of your own household in sharing our joyous news at the best time. This time around, due to when the boys left our home, we chose to wait a bit longer than usual to have our second dr. appt. Therefore, my baby bump was growing and more and more difficult to mask. Thank you again for working with us in awaiting the announcement. Funny how 2 weeks of difference can start to give it all away after you’ve been pregnancy 4 times already. 😉
For those of you curious at what the breakdown of our family will be come this new one’s arrival: Rachael will be 5.5 years old, Abi will have weeks prior celebrated her 4th birthday and our dear Hannah will be 2 months shy of 2 years old when we hope to get the privilege of meeting our newest family member.
“Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.” James 1:27
I love this verse and I hate this verse.
This verse nails me to the floor every time.
My husband did a great, God inspired, job of preaching a sermon on this verse many months ago (maybe even a year ago now). It was one of those sermons I haven’t been able to shake from my head. One of those sermons that revisit me periodically to poke… and push… and chisel away at me, that I would look more like Christ.
I love this verse so much… and my flesh hates it so.
Widows, orphans. I want to make those the cute little people in Hallmark worlds, so far removed from us. Annie, the classic redheaded example of an orphan. And then pictures begin flashing through my head.
See, this verse uses these terms in their specific contexts of literal widows and orphans, but it also applies beyond the fatherless and the spouseless. It refers to the “least of these”. The filthy. The “left for dead”. The abandoned by society and the world. The hated. The devastated by culture and community. The utter and completely undesirable.
And it’s meditating on this verse that draws the pictures of those hostages in the brothels, and their captors. Those walking the shores half-naked after a tsunami. Those faces I have seen of children and families trapped in poverty all around the world. Those rendered useless because they are too disabled to hold a job. Those penned as mentally unstable, and therefore are wandering the streets.
And my flesh cries out, “I don’t want to go there!”
“I don’t want to sit down in the filth and the pain and the destruction! I don’t want to walk a mile with that burden I’m called to help carry.”
But then the Spirit within me reminds me of my own filth. My own utter desolation and destruction without Christ and even my own ugliness when I operate in my flesh while IN Christ.
The filthy rags of the orphan and the widow still smell putrid. The hurts are still real. And deep. And there are still so many unanswerable questions. And sitting beside the girl on the brothel floor may not remove her from the brothel. But is Christ still Beautiful in a brothel?
“PURE and UNDEFILED religion”
Oh there are certainly times I wish God didn’t define work with widows and orphans as “pure and undefiled religion” and yet He has opened my eyes. He has given me His heart. Even though I so don’t deserve it.
See, religion is and can be pure and undefiled when I am not in it. When it’s not about me. When it’s all about Christ.
See, my flesh doesn’t want to “visit”, which in its context is not talking about a one-time affair but instead is referring to a “living with” or “traveling with” affair – a “walking alongside” and “carrying their burden” kind of visit. Yeah, my flesh doesn’t want to visit… so I have to leave it at the door to accomplish this command.
I am forced to shed my desires, my wants, my reservations, my discomforts and instead put fully on the robe of Christ. Maybe, just maybe that’s what Christ was referring to when He said “If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you…” (John 15:7). Maybe that’s what it means to let His Words abide in me. Let Him abide in us…
Oh that He would even stoop down and find me desirable – not in any way needed for His mission – but desirable to be a vessel of His unconditional love.
“Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.” (James 1:27)
It nails me every time.
“I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.” Galatians 2:20
I am so thankful for a friend who refuses to allow me to make excuses for immaturity in my walk with Christ. I am thankful for a friend who pushes me to move beyond the ample excuses I could easily use on why I don’t have time for the Word, or prayer, or ministry. I am thankful for a friend that is more concerned with the crown I throw at Jesus’ feet than the inconvenience of today’s dying to self. I am thankful for a friend that says hard truths, compelling me toward Christ, in full and complete love. I am thankful that she is so in love with Jesus that comfort in our walks with Christ bothers her. We should always be wanting more of Jesus and less of ourselves. I am thankful that she refuses to allow me, or her for that matter, to rob Jesus of His due glory for our temporary gain.
I am thankful that her heart is so hungry for God that injustice breaks her heart, “the least of these” draws her lifestyle worship, and complacency is completely unacceptable. And I am thankful for a dear friend who would be the first to step up in humility and say, “don’t follow my example, I am the first to mess it up. Just follow Jesus.”.
Jesus, how my heart needs You. Thank You that I can draw near to you through the reflection of Your light in my dear friend’s eyes.
I cannot thank You enough, Lord. She is such a frustration and a challenge and a spurring to me. Such an answered prayer! Thank You for pushing me to discontentment in my walk – not discontent with You, but discontent with me – the very me that needs to die that more of You would be seen. That I might be useful. And truly alive. For Your glory.
Lord, create in me a clean heart, that I may not sin against You. Open my eyes to the things unseen. Oh draw me, Lord. For all the glory and honor and praise are unto You forever and ever. Amen.
To the Table of Moms sitting beside ours at the children’s museum,
First of all, congratulations on expecting your second children in the household. The thrill of a miracle growing inside of you is indescribable, even in those last few months of “bumping into everything”. And your toddlers may not have any idea what’s coming, but they’ll learn to enjoy the company of another little smiler.
But even in your excitement my heart breaks for you both. I saw your glances and while it would be easy to brush you off as judgemental, my heart is really saddened.
Yes, Big Guy spilled his cup of juice because he wasn’t paying attention. He’s only been to a children’s museum twice that I know of and it’s a lot to take in, even when wolfing down lunch in anticipation of playing with legos. Yes, Little Man was fussing. What you didn’t know is that he had already been fed and freshly diapered, he was just having an impatient moment while I was nursing Hannah. And yes, the boys do not look like me… or my girls. In fact, to a deeply judging eye they could mark me to look like an unfaithful woman… or a woman in a really biologically confusing mess.
But my heart breaks that you didn’t really see my kids. You didn’t see Abi’s utter bliss at the chocolate covered pretzels we got as a special treat from the shop downstairs. And you didn’t see the twinkle in Big Guy’s eyes that even though he forgot his money that he brought to buy a special snack, he got to share a bag of Buggles with all of us after eating his cheese and crackers (the unsoggy ones). And you didn’t see the progress that Little Man has made in only fussing a bit and being responsive to my touch and my words to calm himself down.
You didn’t see where my boys were two months ago and how much they have moved from being constantly attention-seeking and fearful to secure and excited.
Yes, we are a noisy bunch sometimes… many times around eating time. And there are still needs to remind Big Guy to sit still and that just because he’s not touching it right now doesn’t mean he’ll never get to. And there are still needs to balance nursing my Hannah with rocking Little Man into comfort.
But my heart breaks for you, Moms, that while you may be there in your hearts some day to take in a child that needs someone while their world gets a little more under control… you’re not there right now. But right now there are Big Guys and Little Mans out there… waiting for Children’s Services to intervene and remove them from their crumbling worlds.
Tomorrow we’ll probably still be noisy, and a little bossy sometimes, and a little over-the-top excited and needy, but I am so thankful to God that tomorrow these precious boys know that they’ll still be safe. And loved. And snuggled. And told that “we’re praying for your Mom and your Dad” while they wait to see who will rescue them and who will fade away into a memory.
