Category: just me

Adjusted Worldview

This morning a thought hit me. I was sitting in a half-filled bathtub to allow for Matt also to have hot water for his shower when he awoke. This alone is not blog-worthy, but the thoughts that God impressed upon my heart are blog-worthy.

It was in that moment that I realized most of the world doesn’t take a hot bath in the mornings or have the luxury of a shower. Here I was silently cursing our less-productive hot-water heater and suddenly I felt very grateful for it. Many people bathe in ponds, lakes, rivers or lukewarm tubs/buckets of “family bath” reused water.

I thought about our semi-useless dishwasher as a glorified two-level drying wrack with new eyes. Suddenly I felt over-blessed to have dishes to hand wash and put away when so many eat from one community bowl with their hands.

Check out this book at your local library (once I return it) for more literal pictures: “Material World – a global family portrait” by Peter Menzel. It certainly will open your eyes to the reality outside of our country. 

 

This is not a blog to make you feel guilty or call us to flee our houses and live outside in our sheds to be more like the reality of the countries outside of the United States. But i have found that the more I look outside of the U.S. and the more I look to the reality of the majority of the population, not just the elite of wealthy countries, the more I am thankful to be so blessed by the Lord.

But we can’t stop there – how are we using our blessing to lift up the Lord and spread Christ? Selfish gain is useless to the Kingdom!

So thank You, Lord, for the conviction and the correct worldview from the comforts of my pretty-warm bath water. Thank You, thank You, thank You, Lord. Now, Lord, please continue to open my eyes, my mind and my heart to how I can use the blessing to further Christ …. to the ends of the earth, Lord!

“Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen!
Show me how to love like You have loved me!!!
Break my heart for what breaks Yours!!!
Everything I am for You Kingdom’s cause…

Hosanna in the HIGHEST!”

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Thank You

Thank You

  • for 185beats per minute
  • for the hope of getting to take the bag home
  • for peace and rest in Your arms – regardless. 

* written February 8, 2012.

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    To Take the Bag Home…

    I’d like to take the bag home. I saw a woman leaving with the bag. Her smile was big, “the scary window” had passed. Life alive inside.

    I’d like to take the bag home, the one filled with hope, life, and joy. Bustling to the brim with “new pregnancy” freebies. And the Dr.’s water bottle. Even the little urine sample cup.

    I’ve been praying to take the bag home, this time. I know You hear my prayers. The bag matters to You. It matters to me. It even mattered before.

    I’d like to take the bag home, God, if it could please be in Your will. Last time it was left on the chair. She was gone. The bag was unneeded… nonfunctional without her heartbeat.

    I’d really like to take the bag home, the first trimester accomplished. And tell of the good news to more than just a handful. Celebrating life as You create and prefect.

    I’m praying to take the bag home, this time, Lord. Thank You for hearing my prayers. Thank You for the peace You bring, the comfort within, that in Your arms I can securely ask

    to take the bag home.

    * written February 8, 2012

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    The Kitchen Table

    And just like that I look up and see two little girls at the table.

    Be still my soul… when did that happen?

    Ah yes and did you see those beautiful flowers on the table? That dear friend Jenney of mine brought them to my fine-dining Wendy’s luncheon experience in honor of my birthday. And I must say, those beautiful things have just made my days since. It’s amazing how color and life bring cheer amid the cold. Such a thoughtful friend, she is. And yes, people, they are pink, but a sweet delicate light pink that catches the corner of my lips and brings out a little smile. Thanks again for the joy, Jenney friend.

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    The Romance of a Place

    We loaded up and headed to a small-town church this morning. The Pastor was away for the holiday and asked Matt to fill-in preaching. There were ten people total in the congregation. Matt, I and the girls made up four. Then there was a 7 or 8 year old grandson. So once the children were dismissed and I got settled back down after changing baby’s diaper, there were a whoppin’ five in the service, including me.

    The service began at 10:30a. Matt and I got delayed in our commute due to me forgetting my guitar in the shovel out the door, but ended up being the first people there at 10:20a. At 10:27a, a local attendee arrived, followed by the music leader and his grandson at 10:28a, who was able to let us into the building. At 10:32a, there were still us seven. Matt asked if we should start, smiling at the fact that our family outnumbered the attendees. We were informed to wait for more. Two more came in together, one of which was the Sunday School teacher. After introducing my girls to the nursery toy stash (praise the Lord!) the final congregation member arrived.

    No one minded the toddler “praise” occurring in our row as the first 6 (seriously, SIX) hymns were sung (at least 3-4 verses a piece). And pacing in the side row with a baby on your hip didn’t even bat an eye. I was still grateful to have remembered to put away the walking toy Abi had found so amusing before the start of church. All we needed to complete the service was a melt-down over who would push the walking toy back to the nursery before the sermon. I’m not even sure if anyone would have noticed a good ole fashioned toddler fall-out tantrum. Graciousness poured from the small bunch.

    No one payed any mind to the “Jesus loves me” chorus from the nearby Sunday school room amid Matt’s sermon. Rachael’s voice sailing in competition of the microphone. Giggles and running feet from the other room were merely a part of Matt’s sermon.

    We ate at a local diner after church, slightly annoyed by the girls’ sugar high post snack cookies. Rachael explained how she learned about Tangled at Sunday School and that Jesus healed someone at a hospital and “another guy was forgived by Jesus because he was a bad guy”. I still have no idea what the lesson was, but the butter-rolls were a hit. The grilled-cheese sandwich partial-crusts proved their toddler success.

    The drive home included one passed-out baby with head tilted toward the ceiling and a toddler zoning through slit-eyes until her body gave in. Matt chuckled as he heard snoring from the backseat. I pondered the romance of the rural country with a background of AM Radio Sunday afternoon football playing and a husband immersed. Rain fell as thoughts of the romance in working the land with your hands, keeping up with the house chores, and raising the kids consumed me. I remembered the short conversation Matt and I had as we waited outside the church, after walking the small block and looking in all the storefront windows with the girls. “What if a small store-front church called you and asked you to be the Pastor and live above the church, what would you say?” “I’d say yes,” he smiled, “As long as the apartment fit our family.” We both smiled, remembering our family motto to serve the Lord wherever He may call.

    And I was reminded again that it is not the place, but the enjoyment of the romance of the place that brings such joy. Seeing the joy and delight in the everyday normals. Finding the bliss in the here and nows, even if the here and nows are drastically different from one day to the next. It’s the reminiscing on the present as if it is told in the future to a circle of grandkids. Enjoying life as it is given to you as a gift from our Father in Heaven.

    I wonder if God delights in my delights.

    And I know He does.

    Enjoy your rainy Sunday, friends.

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    Error… Recomputing.

    I’m going to have to think/type quick for this post because I only have a half hour until Mike is coming to beat to death a pipe in our wall that keeps spewing forth washer drainage (mmm, yes!)

    But I wanted to take a minute to share something with you, reader(s). (If you exist out there.)

    Yesterday I went to get my hair trimmed. I like to go to a beauty school for a few reasons 1. Can’t beat $8 for a wash, condition and trim  and 2. Refer to #1.

    While sitting and chatting with the student who was trimming my hair (kinda funny to talk with someone who’s squatting on the floor to trim your hair – guess it’s a little long these days), the student, mom of 2 preschool kids, mentioned in an outpouring of how smart kids are “these days” that she believed “parents are better parents these days, then they have been in the past.” I thought that one through for a quick second and replied, “Maybe some,” to which she semi-recanted that she agreed that not all parents were good parents.

    Thinking over this concept, I’d have to personally disagree. While some new “technologies” have allowed parents to be more effective *ahem, the cloth diaper*, I personally think that the new wave of “selfish parenting” that is on the rise kind of hurts that theory. Many parents, check out the commercials, are not parenting for the benefit of their children, but instead in order to shape the child to best glorify the parent. Don’t I sound like a conservative crazy?

    Just in thinking about it, so many parents dress up their kids for the soul purpose of making them look good. And then there’s the “I don’t care” population that is letting their kids control everything; the child-rearing, the marriage, the schedule.

    I can imagine there must have been this same kind of thinking in every generation. But I believe, at least from my current viewpoint, that many parents are getting worse. The concept of family is drifting from “quality time around the table together” to meals in the car on the way to the massively-packed schedule that “must be kept up.”

    We all pick our lifestyles. But I just have to say that the more I think about how my mom parented my sister and I, the better Mom I am. Sure she made her mistakes. But her heart was prioritizing our whole good – not just giving in to the moment to get us to shut up (though I could testify to the utter temptation at times). My mom gave up so much to invest in Jes and I. She took the extra time-consuming steps to raise us to the best of her ability. She evaluated herself and tried to leave “the bad” behind in an effort to give us her best. She didn’t idolize us, she didn’t shelter us from all consequences, she didn’t hide us away from reality. But she sure did put her heart and soul into molding us into the people we are today.

    I guess if my mom were lazy, disconnected, or self-focused then I could agree with the student’s statement that just maybe my parenting could be better than my mom’s. But looking through the lens I have been so blessed to see through… I disagree. I think the beauty student spoke in error. I don’t think parents are better parents these days, then they have been in the past. I believe it is the job of every parent to submit to Christ and then let your parenting be an outpouring of your heart of service.

    Thanks, Mom, for helping me catch that error.

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