Perspective

So I just wanted to give you a little perspective on our family. We took this picture a few months ago when celebrating a kiddo’s birthday. Every child in this picture is 6 yrs old or younger. And this is only two families worth of kids. Yes, we’re that kind of crazy. 10 kids six and under!

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Oh right, and my sis in law is preggers too.ย  =)

Sure it feels like madness around here at moments, but it is a bit odd how well we all click in other moments. It’s sweet that everyone has a plethera of buddies.

 

This is a picture of what a generation of compassion for the orphan produces.

Thanks for laying the great groundwork, Barb and Rodger.

 

– Thankful, grateful and blessed.

One Unpredictable Day

Thought I’d give a little update on the boys. It’s been a few weeks of weekend visits and things are going decently enough. There have been struggles in reintroducing an environment that comes with a lot of baggage, but it was expected to say the least. It’s just like in boxing: you’re not quite sure where the blow will come from, but you know it’s coming.

Big Guy has handled it the hardest, naturally. And I am thankful for a Sunday School teacher who just plans on holding him for ten minutes of a cry the morning after his visit. The tears can be provoked by anything really, though they also stemmed from a particular stressor. And I just love his dear Sunday School teacher all the more for being willing to meet him where he is and then let go when he’s ready to move forward.

Big Guy has been enjoying school to an extent and struggling some to another extent. School has been a big transition for him. Less play. More work. Missing out on “our life” here while he’s at school. And running his own schedule. There’s the responsibilities at school that tie over into home here. And the contrast of some of the lack of responsibility while at visits. It’s complicated. And in case you’ve forgotten, Kindergarten asks a whole lot about your family in the beginning. And there’s a poster to be made. And a presentation weekly about other people’s’ families. And that keeps things on your mind a LOT. Things that you have otherwise not really been thinking about when lost in the business of your little world.ย  And they won’t let him run wild like he did in preschool. And it’s hard to be held accountable (let’s be honest). So it’s looked like some lying and some physical aggression to another student after being instigated. But we’re still striving to maintain his heart as his world continues to take on more layers of complication and confusion. And we’re rewarding “green days” (best behavior at school) with immediate outdoor play and attention and bikes and bubbles and roller skates and… get the picture? Yeah, he’s starting to get it too. Sure beats extra chores, eh? Yeah, we’re hoping he agrees too.

And Little Man? Yep, he’s just trucking on.ย  Army crawling. Mouthing everything. Trying more table food. Drooling. Smiling. Laughing. And trying his hand at a bit of traditional crawling. You know, just by fluke. He’s oblivious. And much more consistent.ย  It’s morning wake up. And bottle and naps. And play and the surprise of mealtime food. And just good. And happy. He doesn’t seem too taken aback about visits. His digestion system has matured more so he’s not throwing up visit food anymore. And acid reflux is gone. (HALLELUJAH!!!) And seasonal allergies are controlled. And constant sickness is WAY a thing of the past. He’s showing some normal signs of attachment, some separation anxiety when dropped off in the church nursery and pointing and whining when picked up from babysitting/nursery experiences.Oh yes, baby. I’m convinced it was terrible. I’ll take you back. ๐Ÿ˜‰ย  But really, the baby is just a much more predictable and well-rounded (in more ways than one) little man.

We’re looking at reunification for mid to late next month. Things can still change. But we are so close. And things are moving in that direction.

Kind of odd to not know if we’ll be celebrating Little Man’s birthday or sending his present with him.ย  Odd to be standing on the brink of change and goodbye and yet it still being a bit far off. So one day at a time we will continue to play it. That’s the way life goes. One day at a time.

One unpredictable day. =)

Wet Concrete

We received word about the boys. We’re in full-blown reunification. This Saturday they will start Saturday visits for 4 hours at their home. The plan is to do that for 2 weeks, then bump it to 8 hour visits on Saturdays for two weeks, then over-night visits for 4 weeks and then they will move home for good.

There’s not a current court date set, so the time frame is a bit contingent upon that date. Hopefully that date can be set this week and then we will have a date “set in stone” for the boys’ return home, provided that the bottom doesn’t fall out on this case.

It’s a mixture of nerves and excitement here. “This is good for them”, “we tried to assume they wouldn’t stay”, and “we will all be fine” I have repeated in my head. And many times I even believe them. I think about how much calmer it has been around here with Big Guy at school and try to picture the beauty of that norm. I want that norm. But many times the uglier sides of this case refresh themselves in my mind. Who will these boys most likely become physically and mentally as a result of the family environment? And other statistics pop into my mind. I try to shake them, but sometimes they just hit my stomach.

I knew this would be a bit messy. Sin always is. And I can imagine it’s going to continue to get a bit messy as this family tries to mesh back together and forget that the good part of a year has been the byproduct of extreme brokenness. Their family needs to heal.

And so does ours.

I only briefly pictured them living here forever when others said it at the beginning of this case. But even that felt like playing dress-up. Wet concrete is so pliable.

And there are moments that a little hurt hits me as I put away the boys’ clothes or walk past their room.

Boys, I don’t know where you’re going to be. Or what you will become. And it’s hard to smile with you, sweet Big Guy, at your excitement of going home knowing what I know. And seeing the challenges before you. It’s hard to hold you, Little Man, as you struggle through the effects of visit knowing your life is just going to be hard. And we’re handing you over to that.

You were never ours to begin with.

But love still hurts.

We’ll just bring you to Jesus, on our knees… again and again.

He is more than enough in all of this.

Lord mold us.

We are moist and ready.

I trust the Potter’s Hand.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-W7Md6mv74]

Another Mailed Treasure

And while you had a little preview of the mailed treasure this past Friday through the form of a little boy’s utter and uncontrollable joy, I wanted to share a few other reactions to another sweet package from my dear Darlene. I know she doesn’t send packages so she can get credit, but I want her to see those sweet faces she has reached out to again and again from across the country.

Let’s start with Mr. Happy:

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Seriously you could send Mr. Happy a box of rocks and the kid would be THRILLED!

But I’m glad you choose practical gifts. ๐Ÿ˜‰

And then there comes Ms. Smiley:

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Nice choice on the ice cream cones. It spoke to her heart… seriously, the kid is three. ๐Ÿ˜‰

And then there was Ms. Screamer:

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“SHE SENT ME A TUTU DRESS!!!!”

Nice choice, Darlene. Well done for sure.

And then came the Emotionless:

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Nevermind her look of mild disgust, she’s just trying to figure out the glittery tissue paper. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Her later response:

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That’s right, flabbergasted. Hehe.

From then on my job became making sure the littlest ones did not eat too much,ย  ahem, tissue paper while the other ones RAN ABOUT THE ROOM screaming in joy about their coloring books.

So thank you again, dear friend.

You have blessed them indeed.

Wordless Wednesdays: Quiver Full

Psalm 127: 3-5

Children are a heritage from the Lord,
offspring a reward from him.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are children born in oneโ€™s youth.
Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.

During a battle not all arrows stay in the quiver. And we don’t know how long each of these arrows will stay with us. Time is never promised. But we’re delighting in our full quiver.

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– Adore these dear ones.

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