Category: my heart

Truth Friendship

I am so thankful for a friend who refuses to allow me to make excuses for immaturity in my walk with Christ. I am thankful for a friend who pushes me to move beyond the ample excuses I could easily use on why I don’t have time for the Word, or prayer, or ministry. I am thankful for a friend that is more concerned with the crown I throw at Jesus’ feet than the inconvenience of today’s dying to self. I am thankful for a friend that says hard truths, compelling me toward Christ, in full and complete love. I am thankful that she is so in love with Jesus that comfort in our walks with Christ bothers her. We should always be wanting more of Jesus and less of ourselves. I am thankful that she refuses to allow me, or her for that matter, to rob Jesus of His due glory for our temporary gain.

I am thankful that her heart is so hungry for God that injustice breaks her heart, “the least of these” draws her lifestyle worship, and complacency is completely unacceptable. And I am thankful for a dear friend who would be the first to step up in humility and say, “don’t follow my example, I am the first to mess it up. Just follow Jesus.”.

Jesus, how my heart needs You. Thank You that I can draw near to you through the reflection of Your light in my dear friend’s eyes.

I cannot thank You enough, Lord. She is such a frustration and a challenge and a spurring to me. Such an answered prayer! Thank You for pushing me to discontentment in my walk – not discontent with You, but discontent with me – the very me that needs to die that more of You would be seen. That I might be useful. And truly alive. For Your glory.

Lord, create in me a clean heart, that I may not sin against You. Open my eyes to the things unseen. Oh draw me, Lord. For all the glory and honor and praise are unto You forever and ever. Amen.

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Losing

I absolutely LOVE this song. Now I’m one that can’t dance. And the bounce looks nothing but foolish running through my veins, but this song… oh people, this song puts a little rhythm in my step that I pray never leaves.

I do not believe that you can lose your salvation. You see, if you can lose your salvation that there is something out there stronger than Christ. If you can lose your salvation, then the cross did not overcome ALL. The Savior is not ALL-Sufficient if he cannot hold you for eternity through salvation. See where this poses a problem? Take it to Scripture, WHOLE Scripture, and decide for yourself.

That being said, there is a Daily, minutely, every second battle for our minds. We can either be focused on Christ OR ourselves. NOT BOTH. Oh, friends, this one is so hard. See, I want to glorify myself. That’s what the flesh does. It begs distraction from Christ. But the Spirit within us, oh that beautiful Spirit that Christ implanted within us when we fell to the very raw of ourselves begging for forgiveness of sin… that Spirit directs us to the Father. That He would receive glory from my words, my actions, my thoughts, and my everything.

It’s so easy to become tempted. Lead astray. And this song reminds me that it is a fight worth fighting, CONSTANTLY fighting. No, my salvation in Christ is not in question, but my fruitfulness in Christ IS constantly combatted. For if I can be distracted, hindered or swayed from walking a faithful walk in Christ, then through my testimony others can be equally turned off to Christ.

No, no one’s perfect, dear friends. But we can accomplish NOTHING of eternal value without showing up for the fight, armed in the Word.

So today. In this exact moment. I don’t want to lose my soul to this world’s distractions. Here on this side of the cross, I don’t want to gain this world’s values and lose my soul. MY SOUL!

We all have to come to that choice, be it here in this world or when we meet Christ face to face and have run out of time to choose. And it is my prayer that my life, my walk and my faith would push others to ponder Christ. And I pray lead them to His feet.

Please, Lord, in this moment and every moment help me. Please, help me to focus on your world view. Your eternal thoughts. And Your Kingdom above all that I see before me. It IS such a challenge that I will surely fail without falling at your feet. I must decrease that You may increase.

 

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Wordless Wednesday: With You

I don’t ever want to forget your hand in mine.

Your initiative.

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It could have all gone so much quicker.

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But I didn’t want it to.

Step by step down the long hallway.

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I just wanted to be with you.

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Our Abi

So my precious Abi turned Three. She was my Vacation Bible School baby. And every year we have the challenge of celebrating Abi – outside of the excitement of VBS.

This year we celebrated before the long week of joy and exhaustion began.

 

Abi,

You’re three now. And even as you continue to get older, I know you know that you are my baby. Yes, of course there’s Hannah who is my actual baby right now. But you know far too well that you will always be my baby. You will always be the one I have to exercise self-control to keep from spoiling. I can’t help it! You look like Daddy. And those blond curls… oh and those blue eyes. Here, just take my checkbook and spend all the kids’ inheritance now. 😉

 

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Abi, you know Mommy loves you so. Yes, I tell you ‘no’. Yes, I still expect you to work hard around here. And no I’m not going to baby you. But there is a special place in my heart for my blond-haired, blue-eyed beauty.

You are still a bit lost in your reckless two’s, even though you’re three now. You recklessly ran head-long into the road to save falling sticks. You recklessly dance and sing through the house, running into an intruding  counter-top or piano seat. It’s hard to be small. Oh and then when those eyes turn a bit gray… oh child, we run for the hills then. But when they’re that crystal blue you’re back to your normal self. Funny how God gives us the warning in your eyes.

And while you have this passion that overtakes you (many times in the form of fits and screaming-matches at the above-mentioned intruding objects), your laugh is utterly to die for. And those puppy-dog eyes. Did I already mention those? My goodness, girl.

Your personality is on the bloom. Your enunciation is still a bit shady. Sure glad the commentator steps in sometimes. But you sure take my breath away sometimes when you bust out some crazy homeschool byproduct intelligence – like that time you painted an “A” and told me it was the first letter of your name. “Why yes, Abi, you are completely right!” And then I picked my jaw up off the floor. Or that time you matter-of-a-factly rattled off colors while passing by pictures on the wall. Yep, I picked up my jaw then too. I’m sure once your enunciation works itself out a bit more out will poor a whole world we never realized was right in front of us all the time.

 

Abi, you are my wild child. You dive headlong into dirt and jump in puddles in your church shoes before I can get out a reminder to keep your shoes clean. You paint your chair and the back of your hands because you are too curious for your own good. And everything still goes in your mouth because life should be experienced to the full. Oh my little Abi, you are my unpredictable bundle of delight. And while you learn hard lessons many times, I sure do admire how you throw yourself into life without reservation.

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And even while you’re in mid-sentence explaining how big you are, I love it how you still want to snuggle in for a good book and share your blanket with Daddy while watching a movie.

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You bless us so much, precious girl. We couldn’t adore you more.

So hats off, sweet Abi. Hats off to another wonderful year ahead of us…

A year of Ms. Three!

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Overwhelmed by love for you,

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Home

It’s been a wonderful Saturday, taking 5 out to a few stores and poking around on clearance racks for additions to the boys’ wardrobes. There were a few holes now that summer is creeping into the tail-end of spring. Two happy boys with new shorts and a few new shirts. Three happy girls, one who was napping and the other two adding creativity to the shopping experience of others. 😉

 

It was a simple morning, followed by lunch and two kid haircuts. One in the kitchen and one in front of the TV.

 

It is really simple. But it felt like home.

 

 

I remember sitting in the court room. There were just four of us back then. We sat in a line with the rest of the clan. We held signs, “we’ll take her!” and “we love you Aunt Alyssa!” We got the privilege to attend our Alyssa’s adoption court hearing. She completed the eight of my Matthew’s side. It was cool to hear a dusting of her case. She had been looking. Different foster homes. Trying on families. And then she came home. She choked through tears as she explained to the judge, “When I came to the Stauffer’s I just felt like I was home.” My skin still pricks up when I recall it all.

 

Sweet child of ours. The one that’s out there somewhere wanting a home. I don’t know if we’ve already met you. I don’t know if you’re already going to sleep in the boys’ room. But know that we are longing for you. Like a Mother hen collects her chicks. We’re waiting with anticipation. One is missing.

 

I pray that one day soon. Maybe sooner than I know. You will find us your home.

 

And to “my” sweet boys, I don’t know if I’ll ever get to call you mine. But I love you so. A choice love. And a love that can’t be changed by you not having our last name. And Big Guy? I agree. It would be pretty “cool” if you were born here. Right here amongst this home. And I pray that if we never get the privilege to call you our sons, I pray that you’ll find home. Real home. Where you can feel safe and loved and needed and adored.

 

Home.

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Less Like Scars

This song just seems so appropriate in so many ways to be following the Always. post. Funny how no matter how many times you hit a valley He’s always there to make the best out of the surrender.

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