The Happiest, Biggest Littlest

Today you turned 6, Eden! I still can’t believe it! I mean we all expect you to just keep on growing, by the grace of God, but at the same time it is so utterly shocking that you are getting SO BIG!

Today we celebrated you with letting you open those presents early this morning that you had been DYING to open for months now. Nope, we didn’t make you wait a second longer than we could drag Daddy from bed (sorry, Matt) because the rest of us were all up.

And yes, naturally the ducklings needed a front row seat.

And then we just let you play, play, play: dolls, house, princesses, magic wands – your morning was filled with much imagination and love. Breakfast wasn’t even on your radar once the gifts were opened and there were games to be played. Even the ducklings took a back seat to all the excitement… temporarily before they were introduced into your game. Ha! (Sorry, ducks- there is too much love for you guys.)

Our day held our online conference, a special birthday message from your kid’s class teacher, and an afternoon of more play fun (and even taking your dolls to the library!).

The birthday dinner of your choice this year was nachos, which left everyone enjoying the fruit of your great pick. Mmm.

“Did you only eat all the black olives off of your nachos?”

Eden’s silent response:

Purple cupcakes, of course, and a side of moose tracks ice cream (ahh, one of the wonders of America, Eden!) and you felt thoroughly celebrated and honored as we went around the table and shared what we love about you.

Oh Eden-girl, you are such a wonderful kid. We all adore you and your genuine little heart. Life is so wonderful and has so much to offer in your joyful world. You utterly delight over the simplicity of being given a piece of candy when others wouldn’t think anything of it. You dance and sing at all possible occasions. And you are so snuggly. The world has all been the same playing field of a learning curve for you. Mozambique has so many layers of culture to learn for the first time and America as well. But you embrace both with open arms and much courage. I admire your willingness to try even when you hold Daddy or my leg for a little more reassurance in a shy moment. I’m thankful that you know our legs will always be there. We are in this together, Beeden! You are quick to say thank you, going out of your way to say it many times and in different ways in an outpouring of gratitude. And I absolutely love that you find just as much joy in homemade gifts as in store bought ones. You wear your heart on your sleeve, loving others deeply and intentionally. And you bust out silly dance moves when you’re happy with zero shame. Haha. Be your awesome “lost five teeth in two weeks” self, kid! I hope you never stop hugging ducks and squealing at how adorable every animal is that walks by. I hope you never stop laughing uncontrollably at absolutely nothing. I hope you never stop giving monster hugs to people you met yesterday, but have proven to be trustworthy in your loving worldview. I hope you never stop singing at the top of your lungs when you don’t know any of the words to the song but have 300% confidence that it doesn’t matter because you’re going to have a great time regardless. Eden, you are an absolute delight of a child and it is an honor to get to be your mommy. Thank you for being my little Eden-Beeden. And Happiest of birthdays, sweet girlie. I cannot wait to see what God continues to have in store for you in year six!

July 9, 2020 0

come and see what God has done…

I have been pretty quiet over here lately. Oh sure, I’ve posted some pictures and shared a small sample of our tiny slice of the world. But it has been a while since I have really written. —

This Christmas season leaves much to be chewed, much to be wrestled with.

This Christmas season has been filled with learning, growing …and surrendering.

By the utter grace of God, I get to see this Christmas season. I don’t ever want to pass by that truth lightly; nonchalantly, flippantly casting aside the fact that He literally sustained my life at this time last year. I am humbled, yielded and unworthy.

I can’t explain to you what it feels like to look at the scars in the mirror.

They are deep.

Forever changing me.

Christmas comes with a different taste for our family. When we think of last year.

When we think of last year…

I actually struggle to finish that sentence right now.

Christmas away from friends and family is tough, dear ones.

We passed “the other restaurant” in town the other day. [Yes, there’s really two restaurants in town, unless you want to pay way too much at the third one.] Much to the squealing delight of four little girls “the other restaurant” was the only place in the entire city to decorate their windows for Christmas. It was a wonderfully shocking surprise! One animated reindeer, fat white man in a red suit, snow man and a few unlit icicle lights, but still the girls wanted to circle the block to see it again. We couldn’t believe it. We saw any semblance of Christmas decorations in Mozambique for the first time in years, people.

Dear ones, we don’t believe in Santa Claus in this household. We haven’t since the beginning, but yes we hang the stockings like happy fools clinging to a little Christmas silliness. And our kids know we buy the stocking stuffers while they are told to go to one of the other 2 aisles in the convenience-store grocery shop. But who can resist that delight, you all? Gah, we’re addicted to those squeals when they receive the same candies the grocery always sells, but this time out of a stocking on Christmas Eve. It’s one of the few traditions we hold to make it feel like Christmas around here.

We make the best of it. It’s silly really to think that Christmas must come with cold weather, but when that’s all you’ve ever known, something just feels broken about Christmas if it’s over a hundred degrees Fahrenheit (41C to be precise). There’s something wrong about watching the Polar Express when you all have headaches and upset stomachs from the heat because, try as you might, you couldn’t drink enough water to counteract the lost sweat. It’s just hard. And it makes us “homesick”, though honestly we use that term flexibly. Home is where we are. So yes, we leave home to go home all the time. Because when home has meant so many things over the years, you just need the word “home” to come with a reassurance and a security that we’ll be together. The location doesn’t really matter. We’re just together. If you ask any one of the six of us where home is you may get any number of answers. But “together” is always the heart of our response. And Christmas has always been a “together” tradition – just together used to mean more than the six of us during this time of year.

Maybe this is a small taste of Abraham’s cost. That part of the Word that calls us strangers and aliens in this world is more tender than it used to be. We relate more. Leaving it all for a nomadic life of obedience. That’s more raw than it used to be.

I remember it one day, sitting on the couch and realizing that to share the greatest story of Hope – very Immanuel come down to dwell among us – we had become “homeless”. When we left U.S. soil we gave up more than a permanent address… we gave up our people group. I was flooded with the stories of the disciples leaving it all at the drop of a hat to follow the Rabbi. If the Messiah’s specific “come” hadn’t so radically changed us too, we’d probably still be fishing in the boat beside our father. We’d still be with our people group. We’d still be in our meaningful, heartfelt Christmas traditions sitting around the table with our precious extended family who are obeying their own “come”. But the Messiah has said “come.” And we aren’t the same. With His “come,” our sacrifices instantly became our offering.

And now we find ourselves circling the block again to laugh at a restaurant’s fake icicles hanging in the sweltering Mozambique heat. A joyful giggle that even though the greatest message has yet to come, the hint of Christmas has begun. No, dear ones, we aren’t bitter or weary to see Santa Claus arrive first. It doesn’t surprise us in the least. Who doesn’t like generosity? Even if it’s packaged differently. But oh the revealed mystery of the Word come down to us, putting on flesh and dwelling with us. Immanuel has come. Let us search the Scriptures together, for they speak of Immanuel who gives Abundant Life.

This year, Christmas comes with scars, deep scars that tell of pains still raw in some moments. And it also tells of an overwhelming gratitude that’s hard to put into words. The sacrifices may catch in my throat sometimes, especially when I’m tired. But it’s the gratitude that wells up the tears. Immanuel. I am overwhelmed. GOD with us. How HE has proven to be Immanuel (“God with us”), Jehovah Jireh (“The Lord Provides”), time and time again.

Thank You, Lord, for sending Immanuel. Not just to some, but for all. I rejoice in the scraps that fall from the Master’s table. Thank You that “it is finished”, the Law is complete. Oh thank You, Lord. Thank You, Lord, that Immanuel is here all year long to hold my hand. To turn every sacrifice into an offering of heart-freeing gratitude. Help me, Lord. Christmas season comes with many Isaacs to be placed on the altar. And the hardest Isaacs are those I help my children lift. But thank You, Lord, that we can all step back and watch You come down like a consuming fire. Thank You, Lord, for receiving our offerings. May our faces glow as we walk through this life, changed by having spent time with You. Oh Lord, our faces do not glow for us to see, but that others may be encouraged to take up their Isaacs to the altar and be forever changed by Your consuming fire.

*Noel, Noel… come and see what God has done. The story of Amazing Love!

The Light of the World given for us. Noel.

Thank You, Lord.

.Amen and amen.

*Noel – French word based on the Latin root: “birthday”. Later adopted as a yuletide but referring specifically to Christ’s birth announcement.

December 23, 2019 0

The Seven Year Leap

How is this gorgeous girl SEVEN years old today?!

Hannah Joy, you are such an amazing blessing in our lives. You are such a delight, child. You are Ms. Energy, Ms. Hilarious Laughter, Ms. Spontaneous Sing and Dance Break, Ms. Toothless Smile, Ms. Ray of Sunshine, Ms. Spunk. Hannah, we adore you, child, and your wonderful, adventurous world. Congratulations on leaping into your seventh year with your usual utterly giggly and playful self. You kicked off your seventh birthday rocking a 1.8k (1.15mile) run with me, complete with skipping and high fives along the way. Then after a great day of homeschool, you squealed over Daddy making nachos, as was your birthday dinner choice. And, naturally, you encouraged us all to dress up in our best outfits for your proper, Queenly (and messy) meal. Chocolate cupcakes with blue frosting, soda on a non-Friday (🎉), and a bag of your own candies made. your. world. Opening a few wonderful presents from overly-thoughtful family who sent them along with us to Africa and you rounded out your birthday with huge smiles and many giggles. You even got to say hello to one of your favorite people, cousin Rori, who you always gush over that, “she is just so cuuute!”

Sweet Hannah Joy, happiest of birthdays, girlie.

We are so proud of and encouraged by the spunky little lady you are.

Love you, Hannie.

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September 5, 2019 0

Twelve

Twelve years ago I said the best two word sentence of my life; “I do”.

The greatest adventure of our lives started with those wonderful two words.

Matthew, our twelve year anniversary will be spent for most of the day hours apart; me here caring for our little ladies and you finishing up a training weekend and traveling back. And while our anniversary “get-away” will be celebrated surrounded by our community of little people, it sums up our marriage beautifully. We will always find a way to find us in the middle of all the life happening around us. Albeit an extra hug while my hands are in soapy dish water, scooting closer while we’re both answering emails during a rare quiet moment on the couch, putting my water bottle shot-gun in the car because you are reserving my seat even if we’re transporting someone else who could culturally take that place, or endless other little things you do to love me so well. We find a way to be us. Fight to be us. Together.

It has been twelve amazing years, Love. Four wonderful girls. Four semi-crazy dogs. Eight cats. Six guinea pigs. One turtle. Two foster sons. Living in two countries. Visiting four other countries. Countless hours of sleepless nights, newborn snuggles, toddler teething, growing pains, bad dream comforting and middle of the night vomit wake-up calls. Endless tears of heartbreak and utter joy. And I’d do every single second of it over again just to walk alongside of you through it all.