Category: thankful and grateful

Another Addition to the Fam.

Before Matt and I had kids, we decided it would be a priority in our household to sponsor children in poverty-stricken countries and situations “overseas”. We decided that our family would add one additional sponsored child per biological (or adopted) child in our household. We figure if we can afford to add on a child to our mix, we should make it a priority to afford a $30/month sponsorship as well. God has blessed us beyond measure and we trust He will continue to enable us to glorify Him, even if things get tight. Priorities require sacrifices, but some sacrifices are so right they feel like breathing.

With that being said, we first picked our Lidia back when Rachael was a baby. Sweet Lidia was the youngest child available that day when we walked into a local Family Christian bookstore and checked out their “World Vision” sponsorship rack. Sweet Lidia was just a petite little almost two year old (who looked more like a new one year old) when we first sponsored her and is now a thriving five year old starting school this year.

When Abi was born we discussed another sponsorship child. Our dear Tofic fell into our laps when the youth group was no longer able to provide funds to upkeep the little guy’s needs. So we joyously took on our dear Tofic in Abi’s honor. Tofic is currently an active seven year old (his birthday was 8 days ago) enjoying his second year of schooling. We love the hand-drawn pictures he sends us.

Lidia and Tofic are precious in our family as we learn about their loves, lives and families. We have clocks hanging on the wall to remind us of their real-life times and schedules. We pray for them at meals and talk about them during the day. They are two sweet kiddos who have just been  dealt a hard hand and we are so beyond blessed to come alongside of their families and their communities to help them “learn how to fish” in a desolate place.

So with the addition of Hannah to our family on the horizon, Matt and I took the girls back to the bookstore to the familiar World Vision rack. We studied the faces, learned new name pronunciations and worked together to pick out Hannah’s sponsor child.

It was a given when we came across her. Valentina from Colombia. She’s a cute little two year old with a birthday split between Rachael and Abi. The sweet thing is the only child of a single mom, for whatever reason, who is doing everything she can in upholding a daily wage earning job to try to provide for herself and her little girl. Valentina is growing up in a poor community in Colombia. World Vision just recently expanded their efforts in Colombia to come alongside struggling families after a devastating earthquake.

While we still have much to learn about Valentina and anxiously await our packet of information about her that we will be getting in the next few weeks in the mail, it was so neat to watch Rachael’s excitement and curiosity about this precious life. And our dear Abi clung to Valentina’s brochure with joy. We read and reread the few paragraphs we have about her before bed that night and since then.

It’s such a blessing to watch our children’s eyes slowly opened to the precious opportunity we have to love on children in the name of Jesus that we may never meet.

So welcome to the crew, Valentina. Rachael wants you to know that she loves you very much.

*** This post is in no way to bring glory to us, but to give it to God in thanks for the privilege of bringing Him glory in our daily lives.

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The Last of Us

Well, I guess it’s not really the last of us, but it was the last vacation of “just the four of us.”

We headed an hour away to a hotel,

[All children must ride on hotel luggage racks before they grow up.] 

enjoyed the pool,

 “We’re going to the pool!!! YAY!!!”
 My skinny muscle man and lovin’-the-pool Abi.

 She would not stop laughing. =)
[I put the camera down and piggy-backed the children with Matt for a half hour of glamorously freezing swimming. But the kids loved every second of it.]

and stayed up late watching football together on the big king-sized bed while eating popcorn and special snacks the girls picked from a nearby gas station. We laughed, the girls did some bed jumping, and then they fell asleep around 9:30p on the pull-out sofa bed.

 Abi’s zonked.
[P.S. Dry pool noodles make EXCELLENT temporary bed rails when placed tightly under the bottom sheet. No one had any problems falling out and my kids can be violent sleepers.]

The next morning we decided to go to COSI, an awesome children’s science museum. We got in free with our local children’s museum passes gifted to us this past Christmas from the grandparents.

The girls ran amuck, enjoying all they could soak in and we even enjoyed some lunch down in the cafeteria.

 Kitchen play with Daddy.
 Mmmm, serve up the plastic goodness.
 Off and on goes the X-ray viewer. =D

 Poor baby.
 Tragic. 😉
 Excellent nursing.

 1800’s town.

 And now the same town in the 1960’s.
 Working at the local diner. 
 Riding a rocket on the “street”.

 Hula-hoops in front of the “old” post office.

We loaded up a little after 1:30p and found ourselves back at home by 3pm.

It was a wonderful last get-away of just the four of us before we all welcome Ms. Hannah Joy to the family soon.

Oh the delights of two small girls soaking in the utter excitement of what so many pass by as commonplace.

We all had a wonderful time!

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Just Today

Well, I haven’t spoken much about Hannah’s pregnancy on here. It’s not because it hasn’t been exciting or because I haven’t enjoyed it. It is because I am now to the “rough it out” end.

Now thus far Hannah’s pregnancy end has not been as physically taxing as Abi’s last few weeks of pregnancy. Abi’s pregnancy came with pinched nerves, which I can say hands down were FAR more painfully consistent than anything I’m feeling today with Hannah.

I think the greatest challenge in Hannah’s pregnancy has been happening for a long time now. It’s the constant “You’re not going to make it to your due date,” comments from, honestly, the second trimester to now. I think people sincerely mean well in wanting to share in the pregnancy by adding in their opinion. It’s just hard to hear that repeated message over and over, have early labor symptoms arise (been doing these for 3 weeks) and have no progress.

It’s that kind of combination that puts a damper on the joy of getting out and washing all of Hannah’s newborn clothes. It puts a little tinge on packing a hospital bag for us both as well. See, it doesn’t make it feel like she’ll wait until her September 5th induction date when I am experiencing daily and hourly mild laboring symptoms. And while these symptoms could amp up at any time, in any place, unexpectedly, they could also just not. And it could just be like this for the next 3 weeks. It’s like showing a kid a picture of an ice cream Sunday and then saying, “I’ll give it to you later.” “But when?” “Later.”

Today I’m 36 weeks pregnant. One more week to go until she’s full-term.

Part of me is thrilled that she has not come with the first signs of pre-labor threats. And part of me wishes I could just hold her and have my body back.

I think about the sleepless nights and wish they were that way because I was caring for Hannah, not just trying to get out of bed because my lower back can’t take it anymore and I need to pee.

You know, I’ve been told so much “it’s all in God’s timing” usually from those well-rested, comfortable people who have lost touch with the hurts, annoyances, and anxieties of the last few weeks. I’m not trying to be a bitter person who finds nothing but complaints. I’m not trying to downplay the miracle growing within me. I’m just being honest and trying not to only “put on a happy face” when someone asks how things are going. There is a reality of the situation, not to downplay the miracle, but to come along with the entrance of the miracle. A waiting. And I’m not always patient. – As you can tell.

We have a Dr. appointment on Thursday morning. I’m hoping to learn of some progress from the 25-30+ Braxton contractions I’m now having daily. I’m also hoping to hear of even just the tiniest progress from the amped up lower abdomen pressure and pinches and pains added to the mix this week.

And if I hear of no progress, I’m going to learn further the lesson of waiting amidst the hurts for the promise to come.

That promise is so close I can almost taste it.

So close.

So close…

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My Rachael

I didn’t get a chance to write to you on your birthday. So I wanted to take and make the opportunity now to write to you.

I know you’re three years old and even if I read this to you, you’d probably be on to playing before a paragraph was complete. But some day later, if you want to make the time, you can look back and see and hear and read.

Rachael, I adore you.

You are my little Mommy look-alike, with Daddy’s nose and character. Your patience blows me away sometimes. You have taught me so much in giving someone time to work through something, without pushing them to “get over it” at your own speed. I admire that about you and am really challenged by that in you.

Your nurturing heart is so alive that you just can’t help but care for others. This precious little person in you finds such joy and contentment in serving and caring for others, especially those younger than you. I could not ask for a better “first child” to lead the way by example and grace. But even beyond that, I hope and pray that your compassion never changes as you view others with love, respect and delight.

We have found our clashing in three years old too. You challenge me to learn how to love you, while letting go and letting you feel and sometimes be “in control.” Your autonomy is blooming. You’re trying to find your identity outside of us – while still remaining tapped into the family. It’s like the budding of your teenage years as you try to figure out leadership and followship. Sometimes your autonomy comes off as disrespect, flexing your wills with a selfish motive. But sometimes that autonomy has opened my eyes to the little girl you are becoming and the independent little character that has become alive in you. Even in the moments of fluctuating balance between “your wild side” and your need to be quiet and calm, I want you to know that I am working hard to love you from a confident distance. It’s a new learning curve for me too. I want you to feel my confidence in your ability to try hard, even if the success is variable at this point. I want you to feel my love in me letting you go to make your mistakes and celebrate your successes. You don’t want me to do things for you anymore, unless you’re in a pickle, and I am trying to learn what it means to bless and release. Sometimes it’s more hard than at other times. But loving you the way you understand love is well worth the challenge.

Oh and the delight of your joy – your raw, utter joy. Rachael that joy is so contagious. I just want to soak it up and delight in those moments to their depth with you. Life is so vibrant and exciting for you. Your little body wells up until you explode with uncontrollable delight. Thank you for running to me to share those moments with me. I’m so blessed to be your playmate in those times of excitement to the full. That kind of thrill makes me want to work harder to come up with surprises and ways to make even the ordinary extraordinary. Your energy and light on your face… that is just plain fun.

And then there’s those shy, quiet moments. The timid, reserved Rachael that we have known since birth. Your contentment to take it all in and then choose your time to participate. Sometimes it’s just a bit overwhelming to watch all the business. Sometimes I can see you studying and deciding where you fit into the play group. And while your ambitions tell you to dive right in with confidence, sometimes your calm preferences over-ride. Your ability to sit and be fascinated by books, learning, and wanting to know more. Your desire to accept the challenge of learning a new skill, observing the world around you and figuring out how something works. Sometimes it’s curiosity that fuels your quietness and other times it’s just your desire to study life, and absorb your world. I am thankful for those times of “just sit with me” and “just experience this with me”. I will try to see those more in the chaos of caring for my responsibilities. Those times that are so contrary to your loud independence catch me off guard sometimes and remind me that the difficulties of autonomy come in phases. And even in the toughest looking, most confident looking child is a small person seeking affirmation and quiet love. I love that you are learning the balance of reckless abandonment in a project and reservation. Life calls for both.

Oh Rachael, there is so much depth to your character. There is so much life in your “big girl” world. Your changing and challenging needs followed by your “that’s just our Rachael” consistencies. And even in the most friction-built, power-struggling moments, I see my Rachael in your eyes…

My Rachael whom I delight in. My Rachael whom I love to be with and find such joy in studying, learning and watching. My Rachael who has such passion for life, drive for discovery, and fascination with learning the depth of your own abilities. My Rachael who “needs space” away from and cannot play without her sister in the same moment at the same time. My Rachael who seeks independence, while clinging by Mommy’s side in the same moment. My growing, thriving and delighting Rachael…

I love you so,

my Rachael Elizabeth.
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Wordless Wednesdays: Generations

When my Mom stayed up late to finish this for her little three year old’s birthday,
 Me (3 years old)

I wonder if she ever thought this would happen:
Rachael (2 years old)
Abi (2 years old)
– Because some things you just want to pass down.
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For My Abi

It’s something in that startling reality. It hit me last year too. That here amidst the fuss of VBS, my baby has gotten older. I knew it would come. I’ve watched you stepping out, embracing your independence, and conquering your discoveries.

Two had to come. But there is still something bittersweet about that reality.

I wonder at who you will be with how far your little personality has grown in the last year. Your character blooms with each morning. Your stubborn little likes and vibrant joy. That smile that ignites a room and turns us all to mush. Those blond ringlets. Your sweet little baby-fat cheeks. Your dimple. How you look like a little Daddy – with meat on your bones. Oh, little Abi how you melt Mommy’s heart.

And the way you snuggle in close. And have those moments where only Mommy will do. When you first wake up from nap or sleeping through the night and you just want to sit with me – you come running to find me, many times fussing until you find me, just to sit. Just to breathe together with your head on my shoulder. Your little world is all right again. All is in order. Then after five to ten minutes you slowly slip off, announcing your desire to start your morning or afternoon. You just needed me. And how I love needing you in those moments too.

Abi your little brave heart – diving into the dirt, fully-alive… tasting, experiencing to the full. Your all-in bravery wells up within you until you just can’t contain it. It makes you run at full-force into the playroom, following the lead of your sister’s good idea. It makes you leave Mommy’s side all at once and dive into the paint with two hands. What once was anxiety is now completely acceptable and inviting. My little Abi… so full of life.

And your shy, quiet Abi moments, clinging to Mommy’s leg. A noise that was too much, an animal moving unexpectedly at the Zoo. I can hear it a mile away running down the hallway or across the room, “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!!!” You find your safety and reassurance in my arms again. The trust causing your body to calm. The fear releasing as safety and calm creep in. You make me feel like such a hero sometimes, Abi. I don’t deserve that kind of love and trust.

And even those little spit-fire independence tantrums. Things not going according to plan. Love, the passion in your little soul welling forth. Such promise it holds with a little self-control. I remember my own zeal. Justice is a need – even if right now it’s selfishly driven. Keep that spunk, little one, even when it feels more like rebellion and Mommy has to teach you the hard lessons of self-control and “being stubborn about the right things.” Your heart and passion are such a beautiful thing to watch mature.

So tomorrow as we celebrate you, my dear Abi, even if Mommy has a little tear as the birthday slide show scrolls through your baby and young toddler pictures, please know:

Mommy loves you beyond words. Your beautifuls and your discipling moments. You hold a precious little place in my heart, my Abi…. my precious Abi. And it has truly been a privilege to hold your hand, snuggle you close, and let you go as I watch you grow into a little girl.

Baby… you’ll always be Mommy’s baby… no matter how many other ones come into our family. And I hope and pray and look forward to the day when I will get to call you more than Mommy’s baby, but also my sister in Christ, Lord willing. Oh my Abi, how much the Lord has blessed us and me personally when He added you to our little family. And He is blessing me and challenging me and teaching me and growing me through the joy and the delight of you, my Abi Grace.

Happy 2nd Birthday, my Abi. 
Happy indeed. 

– I love you.

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