Category: that’s just life

The Joy of Financial Responsibility’s Accomplishment

I sent this email to my sister this morning and I just wanted to share it with you all over here too because it really makes me happy.

God has blessed us with our financial situation and the ability to stay afloat through good budgeting (even with some mistakes) so that I can stay at home to raise our two (almost three) girls. Along with choosing the budget and for me to stay home, comes gradual financial decisions and less of the “eggs all in one basket” whims. While the later method sounds foolish, there are some cases (like purchasing a vehicle) where “eggs all in one basket” is really the only choice.

One way to “cut back” and be more financially responsible in our spending has been to cloth diaper over disposable diapers. One helper of that decision has been Abi’s skin sensitivity, but another has been the obvious money saver.

I must confess, I have been slightly jealous of those with duel income or at least a greater nest egg that have been able to make the cloth diaper switch all at once, purchasing their whole stash in one big chunk of a withdrawal.

But the reality has been for us that the slower building of our stash and adjusting our stash method has been the piece by piece and most responsible approach for us.

This may not sound like too much of a sacrifice until you see the behind the scenes of that picture. Adding 1-4 diapers per month to get to a 3 day washing schedule for Abi and build our stash for a newborn has involved hours of research, trial/error, craigslist hopefuls and failures, waiting on 3 week difference international postage, and much strategy of mine and the girls’ allowance money over an eight month period.

That being said, I give you my email to my sis this morning and share with you my domestic joy:

“So I’m dorkily excited because my last shipment of cloth diapers came in today. I got 6 more. I have been slowly picking at adding cloth diapers to our stash for the last, seriously, EIGHT months and we finally have a full stash from birth to potty training. I’m SO EXCITED to no longer be looking at, sewing, altering, and fussing with cloth diapers to build up our stash. As it is our newbie baby stash has me washing every 2 days, for the 3month to 18 month phase I’ll be washing every 2-2.5 days and for the 18month plus phase I’ll be washing every 3 days. YAY! This just gives me a REALITY washing experience (cause washing daily is not on my agenda along with managing 3 kids/nursing/house work/wifehood/outside of our house ministry oh yeah and eating, breathing and sleeping).

So as I wash the “fresh from the factory” 6 diapers, adjust our diaper bins to fit our new diapers in, and settle into the new washing machine routine just know that this domestic-happy me is smiling…. big time.

And after next month’s allowance money spend on 3 wetbags (one for Hannah’s diaper bag [since Sundays/Wednesdays Abi and Hannah will be separate and I’d like a “catch the dirty diaper and lock out the smell” bag for each], one for the living room changing table [new baby = CONSTANT changes] and one for the nursery changing table), I will happily put the cloth diaper thoughts aside and just coast through diapering 2 kiddos. [Sure some of these things are not needed, but there also is a “convenience” factor of diapering two kids 2 years apart that plays into my success on minimal hours of sleep. – Just being real.]

On our registry there are still 3 covers/prefold sets for the 3m-18m phase that could be quite helpful to add to our stash as night diapers (prefolds/covers are the only thing we’ve found that can hold a HUGE amount of pee and not leak all over the bed while the child does aerobics in the night), but nothing we couldn’t live without. So it’s possible that in the future I may purchase 2-3 more diapers, but it’s just nice to sort of close the door on the “building our stash to actually work for our lifestyle” phase and move on. =D

If we were Mr. and Mrs. Moneybanks, we would have dropped the money all at once (up to $300 – and that’s on the cheap side!), but that’s not the case with us, so purchasing primarily 1-2 cloth diapers from overseas and waiting out the 3 week difference between purchase and receiving we have done… for eight months. And now…. YAY! We’re done! YAY!

The washer never sounded so good.

=)

– delighting in domesticity. ;)”

Our financial situation is really good due to my husband’s hard work and great budgeting. So please do not think for one minute that I am complaining or in any way feeling oppressed. We are blessed beyond belief to be able to sponsor two (soon to be three) World Vision kids as well as serve the Lord in many ways with our finances. I’m just happy to see the fruit of our budgeting coming to a close in the world of cloth diapering. =D

– Thanks for sharing in my joy. =)

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Social Isolation

So it’s been sort of socially quiet around here. Our Internet went out in a storm last Thursday night/Friday morning of last week and I’ve, excluding a trip to Matt’s office to touch base with the virtual world, been socially cut off for a week. It sure makes this “stay at home Mom” appreciate the outlet of virtual connections. I’ve missed staying in touch with the daily lives of family across the country, friends on different schedules, and not the networking, but the opportunity technology allows for real connections to be made through virtual outlets.
I’ve found myself with a quick question thinking, “I’ll just look that up,” only to remember the lost resource and remain in the dark to the answer. No it’s not that there are not other resources available to me to aid in my question answering, but it is to say that many times those resources are unavailable and when they are, I have forgotten the question or find myself so distracted with two young children and my current oven baking contract (wink, wink), that I miss the opportunity.
We were blessed to not sustain any damage from the tornado-like winds that hit Friday night/Saturday morning in our area storms. I sat out on the front porch swing with Abi for what felt like a surreal break in time, watching tree branches and debris swoop over our roof and ride off into the neighborhood. We just sat in silence, in awe, of the power and might of God displayed in dark clouds, heavy rain, and flag-pole shaking winds. Our house is designed with an inlayed porch that runs for half the length of the house. Since the porch is capped on each end by the built-in garage and bedrooms on the other side, it is actually a pretty protected little space housing our porch swing. We’ve spent many quiet afternoons, evenings and mornings swinging to a storm’s rain, enjoying the overhanging roof’s protection and the occasional misting reminding us of the reality that we are actually outside. The porch is further protected by a row of bushes, soaking up the rain and standing as a waist-high protection from small backwinds. This little blessing of a space provides for safety and security to two little girls as their little toes get dusted with occasional mists from the comfort of the porch swing.
In the process of the storm, though while our power did not sustain damage (yay for lights and AC!), our community’s water line broke, resulting in a 36 hour boil advisory followed by an additional 24 hour extension. When you use boiled water for almost all functions, the advanced timing, lack of ability to cool the water quickly, and practicality of two water/water-ingredient consuming kids plus my “drink at least 64 ounces of fluid per day” leg cramp needs seems a bit outlandish at times. So needless to say, we consumed many store-bought fluid ounces of additional powerade-type drinks and eventually broke down to purchase 2 gallons of water (It still leaves a foul taste in my mouth to purchase water in this advanced and blessed country. Not being snooty, just cringing at purchasing something I can get from a hose. LOL. Though in this case, I completely understand not utilizing the hose.)
During the past week of “social blackout” I’ve realized a few things:
  1. Sewing projects have to be put on hold until free patterns can be further reviewed Online.
  2. I use the Internet and Internet-connected devices for distraction a lot during this last trimester.
  3. My friends/family use the Internet to connect with people more than the phone.
  4. It’s way too quiet around here.
  5. We miss Netflix.
  6. Facebook and Pinterest and Email are my news channels.
  7. I wonder what’s happening in Nigeria lately.
  8. Or what’s happening in my friend’s adoption, or the other sites I enjoy keeping up on – my newspaper.
  9. I miss my cousin, and sharing the pregnancy hiccups and encouragements together, from the “heart of it all” to the West coast.
  10. I’ve missed some opportunities to pray through some prayer requests that have been posted Online.
  11. My little nester-needs missed Pinterest and the really good and practical ideas I’ve enjoyed adding to our daily lives.
  12. I’m just kind of bored. LOL.
It’s not that I don’t enjoy books, or “non screen time” activities. But it’s also the reality of the heat wave (will it ever leave the mid-nineties WITHOUT venturing into the 100’s category again?) keeping this little sun-burnable crew indoors. Coupled with the reality of being on a boil advisory adjusting our drinking habits, resulting in some light-headedness and general fatigue in my “making another human” category. Coupled with the reality of two young children’s and this tired Mommy’s napping needs, completion of homeschooling this week before our “Hannah break”, and the general reality of the heat zapping all motivation/energy… it just has made things a little quiet, and eventless, and boring around here. Maybe Matt has noticed how I wait like a puppy for his return from work. “What’s the outside world like?” “What are people doing out there?” “Any new life-happenings?” hehe.
So needless to say I wrap up this long and, probably, exhausting post that I’ll get to post AFTER all this is said and done, with the anticipation of our “fix all” web-box parts that are coming in the mail for us on Saturday. And Amazon, if you really love me, send them a day early just to be nice. 😉 
[THEY CAME FRIDAY!!!!!!] So Yay for our “social blackout” problem fix. =D
Thanks for sharing in this dose of RANDOM!
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Symptoms vs. Hope

So I’m often asked how I’m doing in passing. I’m sure you are too.
But I think many people take the opportunity at church to ask how I’m doing due to the large protruding watermelon I appear to have swallowed.

My response on good days or in good moments is just that, “Good. And you?” And my response on harder days is, “Hanging in there.” Or if I’m feeling quite honest or feel like the question was asked with depth, instead of an extension of a greeting, I will answer, “Tired.”

I try not to dwell on the negative about pregnancy. But all the while there is the reality of pregnancy for me that has moved past the “feeling good” second trimester high. While I technically have a week and a half left before I officially move into the third trimester, my body is already there. I think a lot of my premature move into the “the trimester feeling” is due to my quickly-protruding watermelon belly. “They say” with more and more pregnancies the woman’s body begins to show earlier in the pregnancy. I had not anticipated that to mean I would look 7 months pregnant at 5 months in.

That being said, I wanted to be honest about the pregnancy situation over here – not because I won’t be honest if you were to sincerely ask me, but because I try not to dwell too much on the reality of the situation, instead focusing on keeping my eyes on the prize soon coming. But I also think it could help others to admit the reality of the situation, therefore encouraging those who are not in a similar situation and encouraging those who are “right in there with me.”

My dear friend Kassie is in her third trimester. She is 8 weeks out from her due date, despite the fact that we both think Jayla will be a late baby (due to her track record). I sincerely hope we are not having similar symptoms, but I must say at this point in the pregnancy I am having symptoms similar to the last few weeks of my pregnancy with Rachael and the last few months of my pregnancy with Abi.

Here’s how it’s going over here. Here’s what you’d see if you lived here:

I haven’t gotten a 6 hour stretch of sleep in over a month (excluding 3 spread out days when I literally just fell into bed). I wake up at night every 1.5-2 hours to pee, relieve the tension of cramping legs, reposition my pillows and drink water. If I don’t wake up on this schedule, my tongue will stick to the roof of my mouth (only it usually is if I have a slept a full 2 hours) and my throat will be sore from the scratchiness the next day, resulting in “smoker cough” sounding vocal chords. I sleep with a pillow between my legs to lessen the round ligament pain and my feet propped up on an old comforter at “above my heart” level to lessen the affects of the varicose veins that are decorating my right leg in particular. Whenever I get out of bed I always feel a burn as the normal blood flow returns to my varicose veins. If I don’t sleep with my legs propped up, I feel that burn all day long. I have congestion as if I were sick 24/7. Afrin helps. Sometimes I have to pair Afrin nasal spray and Sudafed every 4-6 hours to make it through the night. I have Charlie Horses… nightly. So to try to avoid them I eat a banana to two bananas (on really tight legged nights) nightly. Sometimes it works. Other times I eat a second or third banana in the middle of the night. I’ve taken a second prenatal on nights that our bananas are not ripe enough. I will confess right here and now that I HATE bananas. I think they taste like mucus. But I despise Charlie Horses all the more. If I add more water to my nightly intake, I’ll be up sooner than 1.5 hours. I need my nightly naps, solid sleep is no longer a part of my life. I take 2 extra strength Tylenol a night to try to help with the burning/aching varicose veins and leg throbbing. I’ve often been told that getting more sleep or going to bed earlier could help. I’ve tried it, but my body just can’t lay in one position for long before the leg cramps, aches and varicose veins make me get up (every 2 hours at max).

Last night I went to bed at 10p, got up at midnight to pee. Woke up at 1:30a with throbbing legs, right groin pain where my varicose veins were bulging and throbbing. I napped on the recliner part of the couch with two ice packs, one on my varicose veins on my right thigh and the other I rested both my calves on. I think I got one of the most solid two hour stretches of sleep I’ve gotten in a long time. I even found an app on my iPad that simulates the noise of a fan (all of ours were being tied up for white-noise factors during sleeping). I slept hard and good. And woke up at 5:30a feeling “ready for the day.” I cannot get more than 8 hours of sleep (in cat-nap chunks) without paying the repercussions of pain the next day.

So needless to say, when bedtime rolls around each night I am a bit reluctant to go. Sleep feels like more work than staying up and more pain or pain potential too.

But in this entire picture, I want to tell you that while the reality of the situation is pretty ugly at times (and I’m not even into my normal symptoms of pinched nerves in my legs shooting spasms up my leg into my glutes and the random pinches of moving from a sitting/laying to a standing position, though a few have started) Matt and I chose this. We wanted this. And I still do want this. No, I don’t want all the symptoms – those I could do without. But I want our Hannah Joy.

Joy can be described as choosing to focus on the promise over the situation. I think her middle name is fitting and I think there will be many times in her life that I will be reminded that her middle name is fitting.

It is a choice. It is a mindset. And it changes how you live.

Pregnancy has never been ideal for me. That’s just the truth of it. Sacrifice is high for me in this equation. But I find joy in looking into Rachael and Abi’s eyes, watching them play, remembering their babyhood, even the less beautiful parts. And I allow myself to focus on the joy of the promise in our Hannah Joy.

Is it a distraction technique? Maybe. But dwelling on the roughness of the situation never made it feel more comfortable. And a bitter heart is hard to change. I don’t want to associate these symptoms with “what Hannah is doing to me.” Certainly Hannah’s presence is causing my body to freak out. But anyone’s growing presence would cause my body to freak out. So instead of tying that negativity to her, I choose to brush off pregnancy (as best I can in moments) and focus instead on the hope of the promise: the tiny fingers, the little alien toes, the grunts, the little rash movements. I wonder about her eyes, her hair, her face. Will she have the Stauffer nose? Will she follow suit and look “just like” Rachael and Abi in her newborn days or will she carry characteristics of her own? What will be her snuggle spot? Who will she take to?

The list of wonders and excitements in longer than the pregnancy symptom list. And that’s the way it should be.

I’m going to avoid the game of creating an image to go with Hannah, so as not to be let down when I meet her. No expectations need to be tied to her yet.

I just look forward to delighting in her. Our newest miracle. Life.

And in the harder moments of pregnancy symptoms I am trying hard to focus on the life that comes from all this hurt and pain.

That life…

our Hannah Joy.

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Returning

Matt and I went away for a few days this past week – just the two of us. Our little girls stayed at Grandma and Grandpa’s house with a slumber party at a dear friend’s house for one night while Mommy and Daddy got away.
We ventured a whole whopping hour away – not really going a far distance, but certainly traveling a far emotional distance. It was the longest I had ever left our youngest, who will be 2 in June. Honestly, it’s not my distrust for people or my insecurity in leaving her (though in some moments I surely was more concerned about her than our brave three year old), but it was just that with two young children the opportunity hardly ever presents itself to leave them for more than a date night away. They are work, that we know, and yet they’re also the norm for us.
Matt thought it a good time to get away and have a few days to ourselves to celebrate our 5 year anniversary early, since late-August (our anniversary) I am going to be “great with child” and since the second trimester of pregnancy seems to carry less symptoms and more coasting. So we left our home in wonderful care of our cats and a friend and fellow past and current youth group members to “check in on”.
When our tomtom started inventing roads we knew we were getting close to our destination, breaking away from civilization into the farmlands of the nearby country. A large rock marking the gravel road to the property only seemed fitting. Twisting through the woods at 5 miles an hour we broke into a clearing of 71 acres of beautiful land. Four ponds, trees and shade, wooded paths, and a two story manor house welcomed us to our new home for a few days. Luxury breathed deep through beautiful wooden floors, large four-posted beds, various sitting/quiet rooms, a dining room that could easily hold twelve with care, large decks with patio furniture, a basement with ping-pong and a pool table, and three separate and private rooms with bathtub, sitting area and King-sized beds. Hopsitality and luxury breathed from the place. And we drank deep.
The wooded paths welcomed conversations, the bench-swings overlooking the ponds brought dreaming and reflecting, the downstairs couch and “movie theater” area delighted laughter that found us smothering ourselves in it’s cushions and streaming tears. Away with your best friend is more than wonderful. More than delightful.
There was also work to be done, times of homeschool planning (I’m now 3 weeks ahead!), VBS material studying, and recipe reviewing/tagging. We wanted to use our time to relax, but also to get a leg up on a few lingering projects and take advantage of the uninterrupted time (a true luxury for us both).
And then the trip away took the turn most trips take – no, not to the fighting or the bickering, but to the “ready to go home” phase. We looked around us at all the place had to offer and both said, “we miss our girls…. our home…” You know, I think time away is a wonderful thing, a break in the normal routine, a time to reconnect and set time apart for each other. But I can honestly say that I think Matt and I do a good job of that on a pretty regular basis. We didn’t come into this weekend not knowing each other, having neglected each other at home. Quite the contrary, we do make a very serious effort to remain best friends amidst the normal (though we all have busy weeks here and there). With the girls’ schedule, we have a lot of time to be “just us” in the evenings (2+ hours at least 3 nights a week). We treasure that time, whether it’s in watching a show together or working alongside each other in a united goal to homeschool our kids or serve the church, or whether it’s laundry or just melting into the couch together. That being said, we came to the time away with no agenda or past scars to fix, but instead with the same priorities to listen and share and love as we have at home.
And we both agreed on the car ride to our time away and we’ve agreed before that we really like our life. We love where we are right now – me at home, homeschooling, wonderful kids, the church, the house (even with her repair needs), devotions, the youth group, our families, even seminary in it’s demanding moments… we’re both just really satisfied. Really happy. Really blessed.
When you go into a time away with that heart, you find it completely acceptable to cut the trip one “night sleep” (as we describe it to Rachael) early and scoop up your kids early because you just want to snuggle them and be around them again. You find it fitting to spend some of the last day reminiscing about your own bed, those annoying meows of the “feed me” cats, the diaper laundry and other laundry awaiting you, the graduation parties and celebrations coming over the next few days that you want to be ready for… the home that you have left and love so dearly.
Sure our household has it’s flaws and it’s frustrations, last time I checked none of us are perfect. But it’s ours. It’s us. Those little voices over the baby monitor, the urgency of the morning cat feeding, the hallway light flickering from a bad wiring, the dishes piling in the sink, the smelling of socks to verify clenliness, the rocking of the over-packed washer… it’s all us. And it’s loved.
So after a wonderful time away, we returned to the delight of our normal…. and we’re grateful.
– Blessed.
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Our Vacation

  1. Laughing until tears came to our eyes and we buried our faces in the couch.
  2. Quiet swinging on the wooden bench-swing while overlooking the gentle water’s ripples and listening to God’s orchestra of birds.
  3. Getting stuck on logs, going in circles and “back petal, back petal” in “we’re going to have to go to couples counseling after this” paddle boat laughter.
  4. Just sitting beside you, cuddled up on the couch with bowl of popcorn in hand to watch an uninterrupted movie in the middle of the afternoon.
  5. Dreaming about the delights of the days after our family adds in Hannah Joy – the challenges that we will overcome and the wonderful delights of a new snuggler.
  6. Just together… just us… and drinking it in. 
    (sigh) …vacation…
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Signs of The Country

  1. Your detour takes you to another detour making an 8 mile trip closer to 20 miles.
  2. 800 feet of road closed with no warning or detour signs equals guess & go methods.
  3. 15 passenger van with at least 15 kids and more piling in the door.
  4. Pontiac G6 (2000+) parked beside a sun-faded Kia with broken windshield wipers stuck mid-wipe on the passenger side.
  5. Ferrah Faucet hair, bright pink overalls with matching long-sleeve shirt loading groceries into a 1990’s Cherokee 4×4 in the Walmart parking lot.
  6. 9pm at Walmart has more life than the main strip through town – even with it being a truck route.
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