Little Hannah turns 3 months old tomorrow. Funny how the time flies and yet feels so slow in other moments. I continue to delight in her little fingers and toes… that “You’re my Mommy” smile… the running in place with excitement.

Miss Big’s been sleeping consistently through the night for 8-9.5hrs. It’s been six days now so I’m hoping this trend is here to stay. But with the trend of sleeping through the night, she still has yet to break her sleeping through the morning and the early afternoon phase. So with a few less moments of eyes at night, I actually find myself missing her more during the day. I’ve been encouraging her to sleep in her bouncer or a swing or her bed instead of in my arms since she was about a month old (I had to get my snuggling in before then. 😉

And while little Miss Sleepy is sure racking in the shut-eye, I’m hoping this “all day” sleeping is a closely fading phase… because I miss her. She slept down the hall in her bed two nights ago, cutting her bedtime about an hour earlier than usual, and leaving me awake without her nearby. Then she slept in her bouncer in the girls’ room while we did homeschooling the following morning. She looked so peaceful and I didn’t want to move her, risking waking her up. But I missed not glancing over at her every handful of minutes.  Hearing her breathing so close.

Maybe it’s because I see Abi’s independence, creating the bittersweet reality of no longer having a hip-riding snuggler. Maybe it’s because I hear Rachael’s “don’t tickle me” moments, when she’d rather just be quiet and “alone”. That bittersweet reality that holding your babies changes with time and growth. And while Rachael enjoys for me to hold her with my words instead of my arms sometimes, I still love how she just wants snuggled while watching a movie or reading a book.

It’s in those thoughts that I find myself wondering back over to the bassinet just to look at her…

just to watch her breathing…

her precious face…

And I’m grateful that she’s still a hard sleeper…

who doesn’t wake when I just can’t stand being so close…

without holding her.

– Thankful, grateful and blessed.