Have you ever experienced a crafty drive? I know Jes has because some beautiful workings have come from the “need to make something.” Well the nesting period only intensifies the want to use my creativity to benefit another. So now where to start…. too bad I’m not all that crafty….

It’s this odd crafty vibe that hits during two other times; a time of desire to make a change and a time of desire to have a lasting impact. Talk about not knowing where to start. =)

Oh I don’t expect to accomplish all of these, but I do feel pushed to do more than a farkle game can accomplish.

I think it’s time to reprioritize. I have found myself caught in the same trap of “wasting time” while I’m waiting instead of using the time well to accomplish a lasting task. I won’t pretend that n one else out there has never found themselves in this same position. But still I find the need to re-evaluate my use of time and the affect of that time usage.

And then the 3 drives mentioned ahead make me want to take a long walk with Rachael – only the snow and ice seems to throw a wrench in that category. Maybe I’ll find some solace in a mall walk – a thinking walk, a planning walk, a reorganizing walk. But first… a shower.

This morning I went in to check on her. She had been calling out “Dada” over the monitor for a while, but was now quite silent. Sure enough she put herself back to sleep. But as I peered over the crib rail I saw her anew. She’s gotten so big. She’ll always be my baby no matter how many join our family, but she just looks so big. She takes up almost half her crib now. I remember when we could turn her sideways and she would fit in that monstrously HUGE crib. How that crib seemed to swallow her in her first night in the “big bed.” And now she’s so tall and so big.

I told Matt on our drive home from my birthday dinner, “I wonder what our family will be like a year from now.” Crazy to think. And yet so wonderful to think.

We set our ultrasound date for baby2 for February 2nd, in two weeks. So much of baby2 excites me. I wonder who he or she’ll be. I am quite happy to wait until 20 weeks before having an ultrasound. (Rachael had her first ultrasound at 16 weeks and things were a bit small and hard to see.) At 20 weeks I wonder how tiny and yet huge this new little one will be. Coming to this point in the pregnancy is like being on the brink of excitement. We’re hoping to find out if baby’s a boy or a girl, but we already have the names picked out and will be thrilled regardless. The youth have asked me what I think this baby is. I told them I have no idea. It’s funny how a toddler seems to occupy so much of your thought to the point that this pregnancy just hums along. On top of it, who wants to set their hopes up for one over the other only to find disappointment? I’d rather just build all my thinking after findng out and rejoicing either way. But how exciting to be on the brink of baby’s movement and on the brink of seeing our child’s development.

And who says God doesn’t do miracles today?

“My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me and to accomplish His work. Do you not say, ‘There are yet four months, and then comes the harvest?’ Behold, I say to you, lift up your eyes and look on the fields, that they are white for harvest. Already he who reaps is receiving wages and is gathering fruit for life eternal; so that he who sows and he who reaps may rejoice together. For in this case the saying is true, ‘One sows and another reaps.’ I sent you to reap that for which you have not labored; others have labored and you have entered into their labor.” (John 4:34-38).

What kind of legacy are you leaving?

You know I read this passage this morning and something clicked. I’ve heard it recently, nearly a month ago now, and it is still swimming in my mind. Generations of God’s people left generations of legacies. And until we make it personal we leave the labor to another and the harvest to another. I want Rachael and our other children, should God bless us, not to speak of Jesus as impersonal or my faith, but be compelled toward Christ from watching my love for Him. “Let them choose for themselves” is a standard hogwash offered by the community, but I want Rachael to choose the only One that satisfies. I’m not going to force her, but I want my life to compel her, that she would desire nothing else.

So often I find myself feeding along the sidelines of God’s work. That’s so much easier than the hurts of the calloused hands and sore back of the labor and harvest. Oh it’s far easier to watch others labor and critique their labor. But I stand beside my lost neighbors in the long line of wallflowers. It’s easy to plow a little here and there, but then take a break for the sake of eating and drinking and resting. Then I read the above passage. And I ask myself, where is my energy coming from? Where is my supply? Oh even Christ rested, but not during the laboring and harvesting. He was so in step with the Father that He knew the best time to rest and the best time to be alive in work.

And then in my laboring I desire so much to see the harvest instantly. And I find that my motivation is all wrong. Does the seeing really compel my drive to labor? No wonder Christ said, “ye of little faith.”

But instead of his teaching promoting hiding in the back, these realizations compel me to return to the very Discipliner and say, “You’re right, please change me again and again that I may be more useful toward Your Kingdom work.” Who cares what I look like to the world. I’m sure not gaining much approval on my own anyway. And at some point the bench gets quite crowded. So I find myself again, encouraged this morning to labor hard today, not for any glory I may ever see, but for the sake of laboring for the King who drew me to Himself. And oh that the legacy I leave from today might compel another to the throne.

Thank you for the teaching again today, Jesus. May more days come with this laying down and taking up. I love you.

I find it funny how High School lives on in the rest of life. You know, “the pretty one” and “the popular one” never seem to lose that status in others eyes. “The geek” may go on to own Microsoft or very well may fade into the 80 hour workweek, but they still remain a geek to the core. I can only claim this because I am a geek in many ways. But I find it interesting how facebook sort of perpetuates this “exactly like you were in high school” image. Oh it’s not just a hate party on facebook, but I’d imagine it’s the same for any social networking site. You look up old high school buddies and therein lies the expectation that the popularity or whatever trait you attribute to them is just them and will forever be just them.

I guess the same can go for families too, especially long distance ones. So much of you assumes that the red-headed freckled kid will always be the chaotic 5 year old no matter how old and mature he may get. And the sister will always nag and pick on her older sister and revert to the silly slap-happy 2am moments at various times during the day merely because “we’re sisters.”

And I find as high school unwinds in the every day life that there are popularity clicks that also form themselves. In many ways the statuses of high school will later unfold themselves in college. Only now the geek becomes the coolest geek in his circle of friends, therefore casting aside his “old geeky self” and putting on his “new geeky self.” There are the stories of the “who would have thoughts” that seem to evolve in college and somehow work the chain of status, but many just find themselves in the same categories, marrying the same categories and finding their delight in their category. “Popularity is not important,” we may say as we strive to “fit in” in our own crowds.

I just find it so interesting how a status alone can create a feeling. Wow, “he’s a great dad” emerges from the mouth of someone of less popularitybwhen the more popular person posts messages to his kids. It begins not to matter as much what is said, but the person who said it. Inevitably a trail of comments will come from the most outlandish thoughts of a statused person, yet the most heartfelt thoughts of a lesser statused person is met with silence.

Tiger Woods for example. How many lying, multiple cheating, awful people are out there? And yet as soon as I turn on the news, Tiger is the greatest of awful people out there… for weeks and weeks. It’s how our society runs, the nastiest murderers capture “the public eye”, they rank highest in their status. Maybe that’s a poor example, but it is interesting to entertain.

Well they deserve the fame after working so hard to get it. Really? Who in high school worked so hard to get popularity? Well Ms. so and so befriended everyone. That may be true, but what about the nice people who also befriended everyone and “weren’t pretty enough” or “smart enough.” So much of popularity is attributed to us. So many of the “popular” people in my high school were popular because their older siblings were popular. Sure in each click there was a popular one, a pretty one, a smart one, a clown. But what makes one click have more status than another in the eyes of a high schooler?

I see it played out so much in the lives of the high schoolers Matt and I work with at church. There’s such a social status that even plays out in the youth group. And now it appears in this upcoming generation that the “unpopular” are trying to “rebel” against the social order and becoming popular in their own way. Only it’s the same method and the same status. They’re just being cool in their “uncool” ways. How much of a high schooler’s mind thinks high school is the living end? Spend 10 seconds with a high schooler and the answer will come to you quickly. But the question still remains, do we get stuck there?

Some college life would suggest that we do. Fame and popularity in the media would suggest that we do. The pretty receive the awards, the “willing to put it all on the line” receive the fame. But who’s determining the dedication level? Who’s to say that a popular person is any greater of a dad than the one who doesn’t post their messages for all to see?

Just some thoughts this morning…
Please feel free to comment if you’d like.