a concern now ended

During pregnancy you’re not supposed to have blood in your urine. Signs of blood in your urine? Tinged-red urine. One of the combined signs of miscarriage? Tinged-red urine that doesn’t go away and cramps. Last night while hanging out with Robin, my urine was tinged red and I had a cramp (which could be attributed to other things). After calling the on-call doctor and answering a few more questions regarding other miscarriage signs, I was told not to worry (it’s not like freaking your body out will help any), drink more fluids, and take it easy. If the tinged urine persisted in the morning then I should call the doctor and report to the hospital for a urine sampling. So Robin and I watched a few CSI episodes on television (yeah electricity) and surfed to “What not to Wear” during the stupid parts of CSI and the commercials, vetoing our other Friday night plans for a night of couch sitting and drinking water and milk. And I just prayed with Robin, “God, take care of your baby please,” trusting that God’s way is best for my life. He knows my heart and He heard it laying the baby in His hands again today.
And my urine returned to it’s yellow color later that night.

At 24 weeks a baby can be delivered with a 60-70% chance of survival. Prior to 24 weeks (6 months) the odds are not as favorable. I will be 24 weeks on Sunday. But it looks like this one is quite comfortable right where it is. And for that I am blessed.

(24 weeks)

Thank you, God, for being in control…. thank you.

Light Hath Come

Thursday night Matt and I went over to the office behind our house to microwave some soup/ravioli for dinner and watch “the Family Man” (love that movie) on my laptop from the semi-comfortable choir/Sunday School chairs in Matt’s office. As I walked back to the dark house Matt, driving ahead (since he was carting all the stuff) jumped out of the car and yelled across the parking lot, “We have power”. I took off running across the parking lot toward the house. There was nothing as sweet as the sight of all our windows and blinds exposed and beaming with electricity. The smile could not be wiped from my face until sleep took it 10 minutes later. So, dear friends, at 9 something, but really at 10:30 Matt and my blackout was ended. And the light has been absolutely wonderful since.

A Little Tired

The blackout continues for this household while 100 feet behind us still has sturdy power and I think I saw a kitchen light on in my neighbor’s house. Part of me yearns to be awoken at 3am to 60-watt floodlights and a ceiling fan. But Matt’s words, “I don’t think there are really that many people working the third shift to repair power,” seem to hold some truth. I’m trying not to be complain-y and ungrateful. I mean come on, Matt and I have running water and a roof. But it does make it a bit harder to be grateful while standing in the darkness and missing essential clean-clothes items. My creativity is starting to drain as I am finding less nutrition in those microwaveables, I ate half a less-fresh yogurt for breakfast that was “saved” from our power outage, work presses on, and the night’s rest seem less and less satisfying with varying temperatures, church emergency exterior lights waking me up (have to crack the blinds to keep from overheating) and my white-noise fan silenced. Matt’s also getting behind in his school work. Again, I’m trying not to be complain-y and ungrateful, but as I skim over the words I just wrote I’m not sure if I was able to accomplish such. Let me tell you one thing that is nice that happened as a result of the blackout: Matt and I got a chance to spend unexpected time with his family, mine and a good friend’s family for mealtime and candle-lit fun. Last night we were even spoiled by the taste of electricity when we went to a friend’s in-law’s home for taco night. (Matt even got to play video games.) So really things could be much worse. It’s just that the joy of playing survivor is starting to wear off a bit. I keep waiting in eager anticipation of Matt’s phone call reporting that the ban has been lifted. Oh what a joyous day that will be.

Hope the rest of you out there are coping well with the blackout.

And I also hope the rest of you out there with electricity are appreciative of that blessing.

Blackout

We got our piece of Ike and I am grateful that it wasn’t the same piece others have received. I mean can you even imagine being stranded for who knows how long while water recedes from your living room? It brings back pictures of New Orleans disaster relief to my head. All the mud, all the mildew, all the lost memories.

Sunday at 2:30 or 3pm or maybe it was 3:30pm (can you tell I was about to fall asleep on the couch) our power went out. It had been a wonderfully windy day with gusts of wind that tore the American flag from it’s pole and broke tree branches in our backyard. But other than laughing in the pulsing wind gusts, Matt and I were fairly unscathed until the power cut. So we did what any sane person would do… we took a nap and then went for a walk in the crazy weather. But we weren’t prepared for turning the corner of the block. Trees down, power lines down and everywhere you looked neighbors were on porches to avoid the dark. Some of the youth were sitting on a skateboard with a huge tarp-kite harnessing the wind for riding power. Dakota scurried like a psycho, smelling every tree branch as we surveyed the damage. Trees hit houses and cars.

Today the trees are mostly cleared and the new hype of this morning is that a few more traffic lights were blinking on the main drag to the highway than the past few days. But our blackout continues. We are blessed that the church office has power so we were able to move our fridge and freezer items to the cold of the office fridge. So yeah for actually having food! Matt also was able to get his paper finished and sent off to Kentucky, utilizing the much-needed Internet connection in the office. But the same routine happens each night after the sun goes down… Matt and I light our 7 candles and stare at the wall… bored. But it’s cool. The blackout has given us some fond memories like sitting on the couch going stir-crazy because our cars were trapped in our garage. Or there’s the candle-lit games with Matt’s siblings and the laying on the couch with 3 candles lit listening to the school closings and rejoicing with the kids. And then there was last night and the cooking of every meat Mom and Dad had left in their freezer via the grill and the candle lit feast down south. Yeah for creativity! Oh and then don’t forget the candle-lit showers in the mornings. Those are nice (shut up Matt).

So, in all it really could be a lot worse for us. Work has electricity (go figure) so at least I’m getting caught up on paperwork since I have no afternoon off-site school groups to run (schools are shut). But the reports do say that it could take til the end of the week to restore all power. So, I wonder what other joys this week will bring along the trail of darkness. Who knows? We may even get desperate enough to bring our taco meat down to our friends down the street and share in their gas-stove goodness!

Until the power is restored or work continues in it’s slowness… “This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine….”

Behind a Hazel.

There are days that my temper runs too short. There are days when my stubbornness kicks in too strong… for the wrong reasons. There are days when my world is tipped and anyone trying to fix it is in threat of losing an eye. Have you ever had those days? It’s in those days that I am grateful that I am walking in his footsteps. His gentleness in guidance and his wisdom through love rope me back in without need for correcting words. He just trusts. And he just waits.

There are days that I feel like I could fly. Nothing can hold my wings captive any longer. Nothing can stop the breeze from carrying me. Have you ever had those days? I’m grateful that I am walking in his footsteps those days too. His supporting smiles entertain my artistic whims. His dreamer’s heart leaps at the chance to run beside me before take-off. And his practical logic keep me grounded until the air’s clear. He just trusts. And he flys with.

There are days that I just want to crawl into a hole. Maybe today the world will end. Maybe today I’ll not be seen. And the weight of this life wears on my back. The day too long and the night too short. Have you ever had those days? In those days I am grateful that I’m walking in his footsteps. He just sits beside. He abandons words. He suggests a walk knowing it’s a silent one. His arms extended. He just trusts. And he just listens.

Oh he’s not perfect. Sometimes he gets them mixed up. Sometimes the signs are confusing to read, my signals unclear. But he always tries, even when he’s tired. And I find through his example that I just trust. And I just wait. And I fly with. And I just listen. It’s in these days that I am grateful that I am walking in his footsteps. His patience is something to be admired, but he’d be the first to brush it off as “how he should act,” passing the compliment to another. But I must tell you that it is so much nicer walking in His footsteps when I am walking in his. Just look in his eyes sometime. I wonder how those eyes can carry so much… masked behind a hazel.

I love him. My best friend.

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